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A man takes his dog to the vet... 16:42 - Sep 22 with 2904 viewsqprxtc

The vet says "I'm sorry sir but I'm going to have to put your dog down". Man says "Oh my God, why?". Vet says "Because he's bloody heavy".
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 20:32 - Sep 22 with 2651 viewsWokingR

On behalf of us all, thank you so much for that.
Please shut the door on your way out.
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 20:32 - Sep 22 with 2649 viewsenfieldargh

A man rushes his limp dog to the vet. The vet pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."

The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "£1500"

"£1500 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you £50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional £1450 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

captains fantastic
Poll: QPR V BURNLEY WIN DRAW DEFEAT

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 21:01 - Sep 22 with 2598 viewskensalriser

Sorry, but on a forum where the benchmark is paulparker having to endure a Pet Shop Boys performance with soiled pants, you're going to have to up your game.

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 22:04 - Sep 22 with 2504 viewsichbinnaughty

People think I'm stupid because I've got a lisp.





I'm thick of it.
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:13 - Sep 23 with 2272 viewsDorse

I met a dyslexic Devil Worshipper the other day who'd sold his soul to Santa,

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 with 2241 viewshubble

A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:13 - Sep 23 by Dorse

I met a dyslexic Devil Worshipper the other day who'd sold his soul to Santa,


What happened?
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:56 - Sep 23 with 2200 viewsisawqpratwcity

A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 by hubble

What happened?


He walked into a bra...

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 11:35 - Sep 23 with 2118 viewswelwynranger

I was so shocked when my doctor told me I was dyslexic.
I shouted " Oh my dog"
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 11:39 - Sep 23 with 2112 viewsHadders

Doctor: I am so sorry, but you only have a week to live.
Patient: What? Oh my God! Can I have a second opinion?
Doctor: Of course you can... You're ugly, too.
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:29 - Sep 23 with 2058 viewsDorse

A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 by hubble

What happened?


He wanted to be a pimp but sadly bought a warehouse.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:37 - Sep 23 with 2046 viewsMick_S

Walked passed the fridge earlier and thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gee song but when I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talking

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:00 - Sep 23 with 1989 viewswelwynranger

A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:37 - Sep 23 by Mick_S

Walked passed the fridge earlier and thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gee song but when I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talking


What do you call a cowboys car?

" AUDI "
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:04 - Sep 23 with 1982 viewsLunarJetman

A deaf leprechaun granted me a wish and now I've got a 12 inch pianist.
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:08 - Sep 23 with 1973 viewsMick_S

What happened to Mary Quant?

Max Factor.

“I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle?’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he?'”






















[Post edited 23 Sep 2017 13:13]

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 17:40 - Sep 23 with 1769 viewsqprxtc

Sean Connery's agent says to him: "Sean, I've got you a great role, you start tomorrow, they want you there for ten-ish". Connery: "Tenish? But I don't even have a racket".
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:20 - Sep 23 with 1737 viewssmegma

A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:04 - Sep 23 by LunarJetman

A deaf leprechaun granted me a wish and now I've got a 12 inch pianist.


So your not Lukaku then ?
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:28 - Sep 23 with 1719 viewsnorthampton_hoop

Two birds are sat on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?"
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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:30 - Sep 23 with 1707 viewsShotKneesHoop

The other said "No, bream me up Scotty"

Why does it feel like R'SWiPe is still on the books? Yer Couldn't Make It Up.Well Done Me!

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A man takes his dog to the vet... on 01:10 - Sep 26 with 1263 viewsFredManRave

Talking of dogs, I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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