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There I was at home hand down my pants scratching my vitals and shaking my head at the news When the door bell went and a very attractive sixty odd year old woman asked me if I wanted to go carol singing , the only singing I know is my way on the karaoke after 10 pints or cmon you Rrrsss , anyway I was bribed with a mince pie and a wine and off I went much to the amysement of the Parker household , a good hour I was out there and I got to say I enjoyed it I even got a peck on the cheek off the lady in question and asked to go to midnight mass on Xmas eve (which I might do) Am I going nuts or have I been born again ?
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
Christianity.. Back in my wilderness years of the early 2000's When i was living in brentwood after my second divorce and bathing in all the sensorial fruits of the garden like the last days of Rome, i got friendly with the pastor from the peneil Brentwood Church, who would pop in for a few pints in The essex arms by Brentwood station, my then local.
When he called into our local he would, on occasion , after a few ales, address the Juke box and put on Rolf Harris 'Two little boys'..
Anyway many months pass and One sunday afternoon in the boozer , there i was, a hangover bleeding from every orifice , when in the cleric walks and sits down opposite me.
Im totally gone, outers, really hanging on to the driftwood of reality when i hear the Opening bars of 'Two little Boys ' drift from the speakers like a tender mothers lullaby in her screaming brats ears. Then, the man of the cloth with the old rouges smile , slides across to me a wrap of hangover crushing gum numbing top quality £80 Gak, ... after getting over my shock i ask the holy man 'Why two little boys"..
"Because Glenn, There's always room on my horse for two..."
And every sunday, of course, he would be at his pulpit booming away his self righteous doctrines on clean living. the crafty c unt.
[Post edited 15 Dec 2018 10:14]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
Even tho we be becalmed in the Thames Estuary we'm still be gettin' the lads from Jehovah - espeshally at Crimbo.Laaast one I invites in for a cuppa. "Watchoo want to talk about now?" sez I. "Fukked if I know" sez he "i never got this far before."
Even tho we be becalmed in the Thames Estuary we'm still be gettin' the lads from Jehovah - espeshally at Crimbo.Laaast one I invites in for a cuppa. "Watchoo want to talk about now?" sez I. "Fukked if I know" sez he "i never got this far before."
Yo Ho!
That one was on the Christmas corny joke thread
favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
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