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New Brentford film in the pipeline 12:13 - Apr 7 with 2398 viewsKonk

It's not out at the cinema until early 2022, but a mate at the BFI sent me over some stills from the new Daniel Day-Lewis film. It concerns one of the great miscarriages of justice, namely the case of the Brentford First XI and the Football Authorities refusal to award points for artistic merit and goal-scoring opportunities.




"Thomas, I'm telling you, I think they're going to insist on tallying-up the points at the end of the season"
"So you keep saying, but I believe in justice."



"Thomas, We've spoken to the league - they're insisting that it's 3 points for an actual win. As your solicitor, I would strongly advise you to start scoring more actual goals than your opponents. And quickly."



"But we put together a 42 pass move, last week? Did they even acknowledge that?"



"Watch the fu cking telly! Watch the fu cking telly! Did you see that? I said, did you fu cking see that? That great big up-and-under goal from Barnsley? Well, it won them the fu cking game, son!"



"Why are you saying that? Why are you doing this to me? We had 72% possession and 16 good goal-scoring opportunities. We didn't lose the game. I don't care what you say - you can do what you want to me - I won't admit we lost today. We won! We won! We won!"



"Tomorrow's the tribunal, Thomas; are you sure you want to go through with this? It's getting embarrassing now"
"Absolutely, we have statistics on our side. We can't give up now"



"So, I put it to you, Ladies and Gentlemen of the panel, that it is not goals scored within the ninety minutes which should determine the number of points awarded at the conclusion of a match, but rather the ExG statistics and a number of other metrics..."



"What's going on? What are they saying?"
"Be patient, Thomas. The panel are considering whether the precedent of awarding 3 points for scoring more goals than the opposition in a match can be overturned in our favour"



"I just don't get it - it's almost like they see goal scoring opportunities as less important than actual goals scored and conceded. It's like they don't understand basic statistical analysis."


Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 12:19 - Apr 7 with 2356 viewsPhildo

it the latest in a series of lego movies isn't it?
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 12:49 - Apr 7 with 2244 viewsdmm

Haha! Very, very good Konk.

And, of course, an excellent film in its own right too.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 13:24 - Apr 7 with 2145 viewseastside_r

It’s a sequel. ‘Shit the Bed 2’.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 13:25 - Apr 7 with 2138 viewsMickS

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 13:24 - Apr 7 by eastside_r

It’s a sequel. ‘Shit the Bed 2’.


It’s more than that - it’s 9.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 13:30 - Apr 7 with 2103 viewsBazzaInTheLoft

(Not Going) Up

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 14:24 - Apr 7 with 1962 viewsMrSheen

Coming soon...landmark appearance
[Post edited 7 Apr 14:51]
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 14:26 - Apr 7 with 1960 viewsMrSheen

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 14:30 - Apr 7 with 1950 viewsrobith

It didn't win any BAFTAs, but every member of the Academy I spoke to said it was the best film they saw that year
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 14:48 - Apr 7 with 1900 viewsKonk

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 14:30 - Apr 7 by robith

It didn't win any BAFTAs, but every member of the Academy I spoke to said it was the best film they saw that year


Haha- very true. It's like travelling back in time to 1990, where Brentford are Goodfellas and the clubs who actually go up are all Dances with Wolves.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 15:19 - Apr 7 with 1815 viewsDannyPaddox



Epic comics too
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 15:44 - Apr 7 with 1754 viewsNorthernr

Thanks for this mate. What with Beesotted's pre-match 'will we win tonight?' vote - just as I was certain it might touch 90% YES for a home match with backward thinking troglodytes like Birmingham - going the same way as NewBee's sadly missed weekly update on just how certain FiveThirtyEight.com made it that they were going to win the league this year, this content is much appreciated.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 15:58 - Apr 7 with 1721 viewsAshdown_Ranger

Great theme tune for the movie - to the tune of 'Vindaloo'...

We're Brentford Bees
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah nah
We're England
We're *NOT* gonna score one more than you!
Brentford Bees!

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 16:24 - Apr 7 with 1633 viewsPhildo

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 15:19 - Apr 7 by DannyPaddox



Epic comics too


In the multiverse they are of course champions of Europe
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 16:28 - Apr 7 with 1624 viewsMickS

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 16:24 - Apr 7 by Phildo

In the multiverse they are of course champions of Europe


Best team Leeds ever played.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 17:16 - Apr 7 with 1509 viewswelwynranger

Donald Trump has seen the film.
He agrees with Thomas that no matter what anyone says he didn't lose either.
So he knows exactly how Thomas is feeling, how the authorities have got it wrong
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 17:28 - Apr 7 with 1475 viewsstowmarketrange

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 17:16 - Apr 7 by welwynranger

Donald Trump has seen the film.
He agrees with Thomas that no matter what anyone says he didn't lose either.
So he knows exactly how Thomas is feeling, how the authorities have got it wrong


Stop the steal.Brentford should’ve won the league already by now.Will they ask for a recount?
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 18:22 - Apr 7 with 1413 viewsKonk

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 15:44 - Apr 7 by Northernr

Thanks for this mate. What with Beesotted's pre-match 'will we win tonight?' vote - just as I was certain it might touch 90% YES for a home match with backward thinking troglodytes like Birmingham - going the same way as NewBee's sadly missed weekly update on just how certain FiveThirtyEight.com made it that they were going to win the league this year, this content is much appreciated.




"Okay, so I ran the data through the system using a number of different models, and either I'm doing something wrong, or Brentford keep losing in the play-offs..."



"So, what are you saying?"



"I'm saying it's top two or you can kiss goodbye to promotion."



"Sh it. Okay, I'll speak with the people at Legoland..."



"Andy, fivethirtyeight.com have run the data through the system - we can't win the play-offs. We've double-checked and in every possible scenario, we lose."

"

"Fu ck...Okay, leave it with me. I'll speak with the boss"

"

"Mr Benham, Sir. We need to speak with Thomas. We've just run the data through the system again...the system's calculating an end-of-season choke factor of .98, and a play-off win probability of .05. I know we're 20 points clear in the Parallel League of Righteous Justice and Footballing Truth, but we have to prepare for the possibility that it's still 3 points for an actual win and 1 point for a draw."



"Martin, I need you to deliver this document to Thomas. It's a highly-classified, fourteen page report analysing the statistical probability of Brentford going up via the play-offs. We need to start winning games in the conventional sense."
"Yes, Mr Benham. I'll see to it right away, sir."



"Thomas, mate. Everything we're hearing from our sources suggests the league are sticking with 3 point for an actual win. It's looking increasingly like the play-offs for us, I'm afraid."

"Okay, but what about our XeG numbers?"

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 19:25 - Apr 7 with 1307 viewsloftboy

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 13:30 - Apr 7 by BazzaInTheLoft

(Not Going) Up



Someone cleverer than me must be able to photoshop that and put franks on it?

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Ew poll on Warbs

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 20:22 - Apr 7 with 1201 viewsDannyPaddox

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 21:01 - Apr 7 with 1133 viewsWesty75

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 18:22 - Apr 7 by Konk



"Okay, so I ran the data through the system using a number of different models, and either I'm doing something wrong, or Brentford keep losing in the play-offs..."



"So, what are you saying?"



"I'm saying it's top two or you can kiss goodbye to promotion."



"Sh it. Okay, I'll speak with the people at Legoland..."



"Andy, fivethirtyeight.com have run the data through the system - we can't win the play-offs. We've double-checked and in every possible scenario, we lose."

"

"Fu ck...Okay, leave it with me. I'll speak with the boss"

"

"Mr Benham, Sir. We need to speak with Thomas. We've just run the data through the system again...the system's calculating an end-of-season choke factor of .98, and a play-off win probability of .05. I know we're 20 points clear in the Parallel League of Righteous Justice and Footballing Truth, but we have to prepare for the possibility that it's still 3 points for an actual win and 1 point for a draw."



"Martin, I need you to deliver this document to Thomas. It's a highly-classified, fourteen page report analysing the statistical probability of Brentford going up via the play-offs. We need to start winning games in the conventional sense."
"Yes, Mr Benham. I'll see to it right away, sir."



"Thomas, mate. Everything we're hearing from our sources suggests the league are sticking with 3 point for an actual win. It's looking increasingly like the play-offs for us, I'm afraid."

"Okay, but what about our XeG numbers?"


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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 22:16 - Apr 7 with 1043 viewsloftboy

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 20:22 - Apr 7 by DannyPaddox



Brilliant Danny

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Ew poll on Warbs

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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 16:41 - Apr 11 with 596 viewsterryb

I'm looking forward to the scenes where they explain how Queens Park Rangers have out performed them* over the second half of the season.

Against all the stats (barring 3 points for a win & 1 point for a draw), from 17 games we have accumulated three more points. Is this due to witchcraft?

*Correct at the time of posting.
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 21:48 - Apr 11 with 370 views100percent

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 18:22 - Apr 7 by Konk



"Okay, so I ran the data through the system using a number of different models, and either I'm doing something wrong, or Brentford keep losing in the play-offs..."



"So, what are you saying?"



"I'm saying it's top two or you can kiss goodbye to promotion."



"Sh it. Okay, I'll speak with the people at Legoland..."



"Andy, fivethirtyeight.com have run the data through the system - we can't win the play-offs. We've double-checked and in every possible scenario, we lose."

"

"Fu ck...Okay, leave it with me. I'll speak with the boss"

"

"Mr Benham, Sir. We need to speak with Thomas. We've just run the data through the system again...the system's calculating an end-of-season choke factor of .98, and a play-off win probability of .05. I know we're 20 points clear in the Parallel League of Righteous Justice and Footballing Truth, but we have to prepare for the possibility that it's still 3 points for an actual win and 1 point for a draw."



"Martin, I need you to deliver this document to Thomas. It's a highly-classified, fourteen page report analysing the statistical probability of Brentford going up via the play-offs. We need to start winning games in the conventional sense."
"Yes, Mr Benham. I'll see to it right away, sir."



"Thomas, mate. Everything we're hearing from our sources suggests the league are sticking with 3 point for an actual win. It's looking increasingly like the play-offs for us, I'm afraid."

"Okay, but what about our XeG numbers?"


I'm imagining the film to pan out like a sporting version of Glengarry Glen Ross.
there's Benham sitting in the Kevin Spacey role, doling out the cash and contacts and Thomas is the Jack Lemmon (shelley levene the machine) character - desperately clinging on to any method of gaining impetus and therefore delivering the goal to a screaming Alec Baldwin....
"ABC - Always Be Closing....!"

Distinct lack of delivery going on....
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New Brentford film in the pipeline on 05:54 - Apr 12 with 242 viewsDannyPaddox

New Brentford film in the pipeline on 21:48 - Apr 11 by 100percent

I'm imagining the film to pan out like a sporting version of Glengarry Glen Ross.
there's Benham sitting in the Kevin Spacey role, doling out the cash and contacts and Thomas is the Jack Lemmon (shelley levene the machine) character - desperately clinging on to any method of gaining impetus and therefore delivering the goal to a screaming Alec Baldwin....
"ABC - Always Be Closing....!"

Distinct lack of delivery going on....


A B C

Always Be ...

0

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