| My mum. 23:05 - Jul 15 with 14979 views | Snipper |
I’ve been the principal carer for my mum along with my niece for the last few years.
I’ve been very lucky having a job where I can do late shifts practically all the time.
She was given 2 months back in late February as it was discovered that she has a sizeable hole in her heart. I’ve treated each and every day like a bonus day.
She’s been deteriorating slowly, but took a big decline on Monday night/Tuesday morning.
We’re now just playing the waiting game. She’s a tough old Irish woman who’s made of stern stuff.
I’m just sitting here now holding her hand while playing old Irish songs on Alexa on a low volume, as I know she can here it. She likes listening to Larry Cunningham and Johnny McEvoy especially.
I count myself as extremely lucky to have a mum like her. We take things for granted in life, but I’ve definitely been lucky to have been blessed with her.
Sorry for burdening you all with this post, but I’m feeling emotional tonight while sitting here. |  | | |  |
| My mum. on 21:47 - Jul 16 with 1752 views | dmm |
| My mum. on 20:25 - Jul 16 by Hayesender |
Sorry to hear that Mark. I'm not long in the door from charing Cross hospital where my dear old mum has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given a matter of months.
Just sitting in the garden having a beer between tears and laughter reminiscing.
Take care mate x |
I feel for you Hayesender. I really do. |  | | |
| My mum. on 22:28 - Jul 16 with 1683 views | essextaxiboy |
| My mum. on 20:25 - Jul 16 by Hayesender |
Sorry to hear that Mark. I'm not long in the door from charing Cross hospital where my dear old mum has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given a matter of months.
Just sitting in the garden having a beer between tears and laughter reminiscing.
Take care mate x |
Thinking of you and your Mum .I hope you can spend lots of time together in the months ahead ..ETB |  | | |
| My mum. on 22:47 - Jul 16 with 1662 views | numptydumpty |
It's very tough.
My mum passed very unexpectedly last year NOT covid and my dad has incurable throat cancer and three weeks ago into a care home.
He is a shell of the man he was. Very confident successful businessman in his day and now around 7 stone so at 5 foot 9, massively underweight now. He was 12 stone just a year ago.
It's horrible to see parents struggle at end of their lives and has made me more aware about kinda I the oldest generation now.
Like you Snipper, been blessed to have such incredible parents. I know not everyone has that and some people's parents pass way too early also.
It will be hard for some time but absolutely very best wishes at one of the most testing circumstance that life can throw our way. |  |
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| My mum. on 22:57 - Jul 16 with 1652 views | MoonshineSteve |
| My mum. on 20:25 - Jul 16 by Hayesender |
Sorry to hear that Mark. I'm not long in the door from charing Cross hospital where my dear old mum has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given a matter of months.
Just sitting in the garden having a beer between tears and laughter reminiscing.
Take care mate x |
Hayes; not sure if we know each other outside this board but we've had words (mainly good) on here. We're the same age (roughly), same West London background (sort of), and lived on the same street (nearly). Am so sorry to hear that, keep your chin up. Good vibes to you and yours. |  |
| I am still Steve but no longer in Dagenham. |
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| My mum. on 23:34 - Jul 16 with 1622 views | karl |
All the best to Hayes as well, difficult times.
I'm sure there are others not able, or willing, to put on here some bad news they're having to cope with but I'm sure, if you need to let someone know, there is always a ready shoulder to lean on. |  | | |
| My mum. on 00:01 - Jul 17 with 1605 views | stowmarketrange |
| My mum. on 22:47 - Jul 16 by numptydumpty |
It's very tough.
My mum passed very unexpectedly last year NOT covid and my dad has incurable throat cancer and three weeks ago into a care home.
He is a shell of the man he was. Very confident successful businessman in his day and now around 7 stone so at 5 foot 9, massively underweight now. He was 12 stone just a year ago.
It's horrible to see parents struggle at end of their lives and has made me more aware about kinda I the oldest generation now.
Like you Snipper, been blessed to have such incredible parents. I know not everyone has that and some people's parents pass way too early also.
It will be hard for some time but absolutely very best wishes at one of the most testing circumstance that life can throw our way. |
I agree mate.Cancer is a f@cking horrible disease as it just leaves a shell of the person you once knew.Luckily there are drugs now that take a lot of the pain away,but it’s horrible to see your loved ones slowly fade away.
Luckily my parents both died from complications of the cancer rather than the cancer itself,but it still wasn’t a nice way to go.
Best wishes to all the people suffering with it,and their friends and families.And I hope there is somewhere up there where we can all meet up again once this life is over.And at least there won’t be any chelsea fans there. |  | | |
| My mum. on 00:12 - Jul 17 with 1588 views | nix |
Just saw your post Snipper. Hope you're doing okay. It's really hard being in your shoes.
Your mum will feel really special that you've taken such good care of her. As parents most of us we look after our children not expecting anything back (you're all still five years old, even when you're taller than us), so the devotion you've shown to her, will mean even more.
Thinking of you xx |  | | |
| My mum. on 00:15 - Jul 17 with 1585 views | nix |
Hayes and Numpty, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents too. It's so hard to see them not themselves.
Thinking of you both. | | | |
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| My mum. on 01:42 - Jul 17 with 1539 views | CiderwithRsie |
Well it's late at night and I've not only been finishing off this week's cider ration but I've been listening to a lot of music from my young days so this is going to probably be a load of old rubbish and too long but here goes...
First of all: much love to all of you facing loss. Life and death really is more important than football but I love how this site brings both together in support and decency
Secondly: I'm off to see my mum and dad tomorrow. I'm lucky that they're both still with me although dad's pushing 93 and for the first time in his life looking frail. But I first signed in here the day after my beloved Philippa died in front of me when she'd been healthy and happy the day before.
So I've had to have my think about death, mine and others', and what I wanted to say is that the actual dying is, I'm afraid, usually cr*p. In the movies it's tragic or dramatic or moving and peaceful, and for some it is, but more often it's inevitable, sometimes scary, at best uncomfortable and at worst painful or blitzed to oblivion on morphine, and surprisingly tedious.
But for lots of us there is a point where you've done what you really wanted to.
I've had my heart broken, I left home and made a home of my own, I've been in love and been loved back, I've had kids and seen them grow up (almost), I've been young and I've been grown up, I've done the career thing. There's lots I'd like to do and still hope I will but there's nothing I need to do. Honestly I could die happy tomorrow if it didn't hurt.
Except that I know my kids would hate it. My daughter especially has been scared I'll die ever since her mum did and I was recently surprised to find that she still is (though she knows it's silly.)
So I want to stick around for the sake of her and her brother but what I'm trying to say is: when they want to go, let them. Love them and tell them you love them and sing them the old songs and hang on to every moment but don't make it feel like a defeat when they leave you, because it's not. Not for you and not for them. |  | | |
| My mum. on 01:51 - Jul 17 with 1538 views | karl |
| My mum. on 01:42 - Jul 17 by CiderwithRsie |
Well it's late at night and I've not only been finishing off this week's cider ration but I've been listening to a lot of music from my young days so this is going to probably be a load of old rubbish and too long but here goes...
First of all: much love to all of you facing loss. Life and death really is more important than football but I love how this site brings both together in support and decency
Secondly: I'm off to see my mum and dad tomorrow. I'm lucky that they're both still with me although dad's pushing 93 and for the first time in his life looking frail. But I first signed in here the day after my beloved Philippa died in front of me when she'd been healthy and happy the day before.
So I've had to have my think about death, mine and others', and what I wanted to say is that the actual dying is, I'm afraid, usually cr*p. In the movies it's tragic or dramatic or moving and peaceful, and for some it is, but more often it's inevitable, sometimes scary, at best uncomfortable and at worst painful or blitzed to oblivion on morphine, and surprisingly tedious.
But for lots of us there is a point where you've done what you really wanted to.
I've had my heart broken, I left home and made a home of my own, I've been in love and been loved back, I've had kids and seen them grow up (almost), I've been young and I've been grown up, I've done the career thing. There's lots I'd like to do and still hope I will but there's nothing I need to do. Honestly I could die happy tomorrow if it didn't hurt.
Except that I know my kids would hate it. My daughter especially has been scared I'll die ever since her mum did and I was recently surprised to find that she still is (though she knows it's silly.)
So I want to stick around for the sake of her and her brother but what I'm trying to say is: when they want to go, let them. Love them and tell them you love them and sing them the old songs and hang on to every moment but don't make it feel like a defeat when they leave you, because it's not. Not for you and not for them. |
Great sentiment Cider and very sorry to hear your story but I'm sure there's 100 more reasons than your kids to hang around.
None of them more important but still. | | | |
| My mum. on 02:11 - Jul 17 with 1514 views | Boston |
| My mum. on 01:42 - Jul 17 by CiderwithRsie |
Well it's late at night and I've not only been finishing off this week's cider ration but I've been listening to a lot of music from my young days so this is going to probably be a load of old rubbish and too long but here goes...
First of all: much love to all of you facing loss. Life and death really is more important than football but I love how this site brings both together in support and decency
Secondly: I'm off to see my mum and dad tomorrow. I'm lucky that they're both still with me although dad's pushing 93 and for the first time in his life looking frail. But I first signed in here the day after my beloved Philippa died in front of me when she'd been healthy and happy the day before.
So I've had to have my think about death, mine and others', and what I wanted to say is that the actual dying is, I'm afraid, usually cr*p. In the movies it's tragic or dramatic or moving and peaceful, and for some it is, but more often it's inevitable, sometimes scary, at best uncomfortable and at worst painful or blitzed to oblivion on morphine, and surprisingly tedious.
But for lots of us there is a point where you've done what you really wanted to.
I've had my heart broken, I left home and made a home of my own, I've been in love and been loved back, I've had kids and seen them grow up (almost), I've been young and I've been grown up, I've done the career thing. There's lots I'd like to do and still hope I will but there's nothing I need to do. Honestly I could die happy tomorrow if it didn't hurt.
Except that I know my kids would hate it. My daughter especially has been scared I'll die ever since her mum did and I was recently surprised to find that she still is (though she knows it's silly.)
So I want to stick around for the sake of her and her brother but what I'm trying to say is: when they want to go, let them. Love them and tell them you love them and sing them the old songs and hang on to every moment but don't make it feel like a defeat when they leave you, because it's not. Not for you and not for them. |
Hmm, I’m also most concerned about my children, though they’re all adults, but ..,
Poor Mrs Boston has the resolve of a charging elephant, can’t recall how many times she’s forgiven me for being, erm….difficult. She might miss me as well. | |
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| My mum. on 05:55 - Jul 17 with 1473 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| My mum. on 00:15 - Jul 17 by nix |
Hayes and Numpty, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents too. It's so hard to see them not themselves.
Thinking of you both. |
Yeah ditto this. |  |
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| My mum. on 07:47 - Jul 17 with 1438 views | numptydumpty |
Thanks to few sending good wishes about my own personal situation with losing my mum last year and my dad on his way out also.
I got a belief, this isn't it down here, ie otherwise its all very weird this life thing, my dad be reunited with my mum fairly soon and one day I will meet them both again.
Yep no Chelsea fans up there, they be in the bargain basement !!! | |
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| My mum. on 08:48 - Jul 17 with 1404 views | hook_hoops |
My heartfelt condolences to Snipper, Numpty and Hayesender. I've been reading through the many expressions of solace and comfort on this thread and have been genuinely moved. This is a wonderful place to go when you need to know that someone out there is listening to you and understands what you are going through. | | | |
| My mum. on 09:12 - Jul 17 with 1385 views | davman |
| My mum. on 21:29 - Jul 16 by BrianMcCarthy |
Sorry to hear that, Hayes. You look after yourself, my man. |
This is the best tip for everyone, but the hardest to maintain. When mum left us 8 years ago, it was a relief as she'd been steadily declining with Liver disease before our eyes. But not just that, my dad literally stopped his life to be there with her 24 / 7. He needed to, so I get it, but it took a real toll on him for a good 2-3 years in and around that time.
A friend who lives up the road is going through the same thing. His wife has MS, has been bed ridden for three years. My mate is caring for her at home and never goes anywhere other than to be by her side. He is visibly wasting away - he used to play golf weekly and, even though in his mid seventies, he got out and did one of those amazing speed walks only oldies seem to do. Not now though.
It is a tragically horrible time and I get the imperative to look after loved ones, but if we don't look after ourselves, ultimately we won't be able to look after others.
So hard.
Best wishes to all going through (or have been through) sh1tty times like these... |  |
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| My mum. on 09:57 - Jul 17 with 1365 views | dannyblue |
10 years ago I cared for my mum as she suffered an exacerbation of emphysema. She died the night someone else looked after her. She had asked my permission to go, she wanted it by then, and had planned it that way to protect me.
5 years ago I rushed to Seattle to care for my gran as a rapid brain tumour took her away. I was able to FaceTime my new daughter with her and she recognised her and knew.
It’s so hard, but if you can be there with them it makes a massive difference. Snipper, Hayes, anyone going through something like this, I offer camaraderie and wish you courage. |  | | |
| My mum. on 10:07 - Jul 17 with 1350 views | Snipper |
My mum died this morning. Her suffering is over.
Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ | | | |
| My mum. on 10:08 - Jul 17 with 1349 views | Juzzie |
| My mum. on 10:07 - Jul 17 by Snipper |
My mum died this morning. Her suffering is over.
Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ |
So sorry to hear that. RIP. |  | | |
| My mum. on 10:32 - Jul 17 with 1309 views | danehoop |
My thoughts are with you and your family Snipper, so sorry for your loss. |  |
| Never knowingly understood |
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| My mum. on 10:33 - Jul 17 with 1308 views | davman |
| My mum. on 10:07 - Jul 17 by Snipper |
My mum died this morning. Her suffering is over.
Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ |
RIP, mate.
Believe me, it never goes away and you got to live with it now, but the rawness does die down only to re-surface now and then. I still think "I'll phone mum and tell her that" every now and then.
Grieve appropriately and well; I am sure that you will - best thoughts are with you... | |
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| My mum. on 10:44 - Jul 17 with 1289 views | Paddyhoops |
| My mum. on 10:08 - Jul 17 by Juzzie |
So sorry to hear that. RIP. |
RIP. 🙠| | | |
| My mum. on 10:44 - Jul 17 with 1288 views | johncharles |
| My mum. on 10:07 - Jul 17 by Snipper |
My mum died this morning. Her suffering is over.
Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. â¤ï¸â¤ï¸ |
So sorry Snipper RIP
I’ve been reading through this thread and I’m getting very tearful. QPR is a wonderful club. |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| My mum. on 10:49 - Jul 17 with 1285 views | 1MoreBrightonR |
Something I always find amazing is that in these moments, people come on here and share both their feelings and their time of sadness. That isn't me looking down on it in anyway, it's me thinking how amazing it is that this board is able to offer support for people and means that much as a community for people.
I can't think of many online places, where are basically strangers with a common interest, where that would be the case. I think it's fantastic to be honest.
Best wishes from me during your difficult times. | | | |
| My mum. on 11:16 - Jul 17 with 1262 views | LythamR |
Condolences. R.I.P Snippers Mum. |  | | |
| My mum. on 11:22 - Jul 17 with 1250 views | Mick_S |
So sorry, Snipper. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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