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Back in the wilderness years, When I was held in cruel abeyance by the bitter sweet grains of the south american quaker oats working as a non marine insurance broker in the square mile, I was listening to my hero John Foxx on the rusty Egan Show talking about his bespoke minimoog esoteric craft working within the sphere, Parameters and confines of electronic dance music.
As was the zeitgeist of the times, i was rassed to sweet heavenly f uck and ripped to the tits on a couple of wraps of high grade sawtooth cut translucent petrol washed kibble , while i listened to Foxx, impart to the listener, how his music was the tesseract that ignited modern day house, Techno , trance, subculture and beyond.
Gripped as i was with augmented sensorial waves of pleasure flashing across my mind with insight after insight as the Plaistow kibble elevated me to new levels of understanding and transcending dimensions of time and space, I decided to call up bbc radio 6 and impress Foxx by drawing key and pertinent ley lines between his seminal works with Tangerine Dream, Can , Progressive Kraut Rock and underground clubs of that era such as The Mudd Club , Samsara, Gardening Club and 'Whoop it up' at the astoria.
Moreover, i ventured to myself, that His work was a natural extension of The BBC Radiophonic workshop and thus the very Flint that sparked his (John Foxx's), transportation Into the epicenter of the electronica dojo when the likes of Andy Gibb, barbra streisand, Showaddywaddy and Tina Charles dominated the charts and the muso tv shows at that time in Bleak, grey, smileys circus late 70's Britain. No Fun.
Unfortunately the f ucking c unts put me on hold for 40 minutes and the gear had run down, no longer coursing through my system, but leaving me flatter than karen carpenter doing the limbo. By the time i got on air all i could mumble to the high sensi of electronica was ' err,,,Have,,err,, you got any new,,err,, projects in the,,err,, offering John?'. Suffice to say i was treated with the disdain that i so richly deserved, as Foxx curtly replied 'No' And Rusty Egan snorted in disgust.
and that was that.
I did once manage to phone in to LBC to ask wilf slack and john emburey when simon hughes would replace norman cowans in the middlesex first 11 but alas i was only 13 and the kibble was another world away..
[Post edited 10 Dec 2017 19:54]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 19:53 - Dec 10 with 6154 views
Back in time for Christmas Yorkie. My Second Mrs, The One who f ucked off with the kids and left me to go and live in the the forest of dean in a new wave gated christian community where they eschew the use of heretic modern technologies such as buttons and tea bags, got through to Mike Reids Swap Shop and spoke to simon le bon, which she videoed for prosperity. Not Really a radio phone in, but the next best thing.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 20:10 - Dec 10 with 6100 views
Hello Rob, Im Meeting my dad, East Ham Dave in the working mans club round the back of The old west Ham ground on the 28th dec for a few pints and a few of his purple heart 1960's carnaby street tales. I'll pm you mate.
ps. If your ever in leigh on sea for the day with your new mrs give us a shout for a beer in the peter boat/crooked billet.
hope your boys are well mate. ;-)
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 20:49 - Dec 10 with 5988 views
I must be the only bloke ever to ring into a phone in show.
Peter Cook towards the end of his magnificent life , used to call into the clive bull show with the alias ' Sven' , talling about Fish and his women problems in perpetuity.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 21:00 - Dec 10 with 5962 views
True story: Rangers were doing terribly and the comms on I guess BBC were berating us in equal measure to taking the pish. So I foned in, didn't get to speak to them, fortunately, but let them know in no uncertain terms they'd gone too far. The comms piped down a bit. hahaha
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 21:03 - Dec 10 with 5956 views
Anyway, Disco's OP. Yes, many times a caller, but not anymore. I'm the sort of tosser who's good at trivial pursuit and such as my mind loves collecting crap, but holding on to depart info, which by the time you get on air isn't relevant put me off. Don't care about the air time, my only interest was to supply or question, so now I request not to go live and merely contribute to the producer. Little easier for my points to be reviewed as I still have a tad of a Home Counties accent, therefore on American local radio I am an expert on whatever field I care to comment on.
Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 21:03 - Dec 10 by Boston
Anyway, Disco's OP. Yes, many times a caller, but not anymore. I'm the sort of tosser who's good at trivial pursuit and such as my mind loves collecting crap, but holding on to depart info, which by the time you get on air isn't relevant put me off. Don't care about the air time, my only interest was to supply or question, so now I request not to go live and merely contribute to the producer. Little easier for my points to be reviewed as I still have a tad of a Home Counties accent, therefore on American local radio I am an expert on whatever field I care to comment on.
I would point out that I've developed the Prince Charles tone and mannerisms as a positive business move. Worked quite well, expect to marry into American Royalty any day now.
mid 90's.. after a mid week away defeat to everton i remember i got through to the unhinged Alan Mullery on the old capital gold phone in show. I said something unspeakably feeble along the lines of 'Michael Meeker will never make a pro footballer and wilkins wont cut it as a manager'. Mullers went colonel Kurtz crazy in full wilkins defence mode and demanded that i should display my domestic medals/ international caps before i dare proffer an opinion on professional football .
being as i was working as a reinsurance broker at the time spending my days getting pissed out of my nut in the lamb tavern, leadenhall market , buying cocaine for underwriters ( an integral part of my role at the time), and talking about stop loss quota share treaties in my sleep to the wife, mullers had the upper hand and alas, i had no international caps to back up my outlandish claims that michael meeker was indeed, fkn shte.
[Post edited 10 Dec 2017 21:43]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 21:50 - Dec 10 with 5889 views
Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 21:41 - Dec 10 by Discodroids
mid 90's.. after a mid week away defeat to everton i remember i got through to the unhinged Alan Mullery on the old capital gold phone in show. I said something unspeakably feeble along the lines of 'Michael Meeker will never make a pro footballer and wilkins wont cut it as a manager'. Mullers went colonel Kurtz crazy in full wilkins defence mode and demanded that i should display my domestic medals/ international caps before i dare proffer an opinion on professional football .
being as i was working as a reinsurance broker at the time spending my days getting pissed out of my nut in the lamb tavern, leadenhall market , buying cocaine for underwriters ( an integral part of my role at the time), and talking about stop loss quota share treaties in my sleep to the wife, mullers had the upper hand and alas, i had no international caps to back up my outlandish claims that michael meeker was indeed, fkn shte.
[Post edited 10 Dec 2017 21:43]
eh, trouble with low IQ Mullery, presume you hadn't been drinking!
Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 20:49 - Dec 10 by Discodroids
Hello Rob, Im Meeting my dad, East Ham Dave in the working mans club round the back of The old west Ham ground on the 28th dec for a few pints and a few of his purple heart 1960's carnaby street tales. I'll pm you mate.
ps. If your ever in leigh on sea for the day with your new mrs give us a shout for a beer in the peter boat/crooked billet.
hope your boys are well mate. ;-)
Started a new job last week, may be working the 28th, I find out tomorrow
favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
I emailed Dave Rodigan a couple of months ago after watching the Skatalites and he read it out on air. Cue frantic e-mails to unimpressed friends with iPlayer links. They didn't even bother patronising me, the cunce.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 10:11 - Dec 11 with 5629 views
Before an away game at Anfield the BBC were interviewing Rangers fans and I got stopped and asked a few questions:
Her: What's the furthest you've travelled to see a match Me: Newcastle, Middlesborough, Sunderland...no - Sweden Her: Sweden? Me: Ya Her: To see a match? Me: Yes, pre-season friendlies Her: But what did you get out of that Me: Syphilis
I don't think they broadcast it.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 10:43 - Dec 11 by CiderwithRsie
If you don't want it anymore, can I have it?
No Problem Guv'nor. You can have my digital radio as well.
As a 51 year old Man of high academia at the apex of cutting edge utopian technologies, I tried using my digital radio for the first time this morning, (An unwanted gift from the Chigwell mother in law last christmas), all i could get tuned in was was facking Chris evans and his sycophantic diddymen braying with hilarity at his every whim and topical insight interspersed with Level 42, Ed Sheeran, Doctor Hook and a submissive master and servant interview with Jamie Oliver who imparted from up on high, the correct way to wash your facking christmas vegetables only in natural spring waters.
How can any being listen to this of their own free will?.
In balls of confusion, I wandered into my leigh on sea botanical Tranquility gardens much like lizard king Jim Morrison in his Baron John leather trousers armed with a tincture of uncultured peyote circumnavigating the deep Arizona desert to unlock the mysteries of the world.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 16:06 - Dec 11 with 5406 views
Now... a tenuous link but along similar lines. My "bird" a good few years ago (now my lovely wife) had dogshittaste in music and still does, albeit she is now fluent in breaks, bleeps, soul and melodic house. Anyway, one Sunday morning we are chilled out in bed and she has Crapital FM on with some Norvern monkey DJ whose name escapes me and he's doing a phone in quiz. I hear the dulcet tones of one of my mates come on being "Martin from Chiswick" and answer quiz question correctly and be told to ensure he's around for the grand final where some inane company would be financing "a trip of a lifetime" and Martin fesses up he'd be hitting Brazil as it's the home of football, slim honeys and decent nightlife.
We had a 12:00pm kick off that day in the Chiswick & District League and all met up giving Mart a ribbing. About 8 lads came back to my flat to watch QPR lay down and be shagged by a Bradford City side who needed a win to stay up in the last game of the season. Someone says, flick on the radio see if Martin made the final....the final hasn't been on yet. Now I can do a few accents so we give him a call with the nummber withheld and I tell him I'm the DJ from Crapital FM in Norvern accent and he goes absolutely radio rental with such deep joy I've not heard the likes of since. Slowly I reeled him in asking questions and making statements said DJ wouldn't know about and the penny drops with expletives coming down the line on loud speaker that the flats 3 doors down could hear. 8 idiotic Sunday footballers roll up in laughter with the last thing we hear being "Get off the line you bunch of vvankers --- I could have Crapital FM trying to call me up and give me first prize!!!" They didn't
You had to be there I suppose....
Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 17:44 - Dec 11 with 5326 views
The only time I called a radio station was talksport on a Stan collymore phone in Souza had just started and we was at the Watford game , anyway we were 3 down in about 15 minutes and was abosluley woeful I left on 60minutes the only game I had left that early , anyway I had planned what I was gonna say and was fired up to slag of briatore and co when I got through and was live on the air, I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights I then completely forget the valid points I was going to make and all I could muster was "It's a disgrace Stan, a disgrace " Apart from being on the wide a wake club as a young boy this was my only media/tv claim to fame And I sounded like aright plum
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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Your Radio Phone In Experiences. on 22:49 - Dec 11 with 5193 views
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