Forum | If you were Critchley.... by GaryBannister86

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If you were Critchley.... 14:09 - Feb 17 with 2116 views

...what would you do on Saturday?

You're not stupid - a lame three goal defeat or more and a big fat boot up the bum and out the door is coming and in comes Nathan Jones by Monday morning.

You've got a squad with zero confidence, lots of injuries....bit of a poser?

Surely, surely, you park the bus and hope to run away with just the odd goal defeat and keep your job for now. This is what I would do if anyone is fit / willing to play:

Play 5 defenders and a good old-fashioned sweeper in behind them for good measure. No idea who, of course. Perhaps Dozzell's real mission is to reinvigorate the Hoddle-at-Swindon sweeper / quarterback role?

Stef, Field in midfield.

Boot the ball long and high to Martin and tell Armstrong to run around like a nutter.

Foul. Time-waste. Cheat.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why I should be the man to replace NC, not Nathan Jones, on Monday morning.

If you were Critchley.... on 14:19 - Feb 17 with 2049 views

PinnerPaul

Win

If you were Critchley.... on 14:35 - Feb 17 with 1991 views

CamberleyR

Park the bus, play a bank of 5 including a sweeper behind, a bank of four in front of them including Armstrong who I'd urge to get up to support Martin whenever possible for flicks and knock downs.

As you say, foul them (take it in turns to foul), shithouse the life out of the game and be a Preston tribute act so they don't get any momentum as if we allow them to start motoring they are liable to sweep us aside like Hurricane Katrina.

Needs must as it wouldn't be how I'd normally want us to approach a game. If we can kill the life out of the game early on, the longer it stays 0-0 the crowd will start getting on their backs as their fans will be expecting an easy win and you never know we may just nick a goal from a set piece.

Even if they only win 1-0 he'll keep his job but another three goal beating and he'll be toast.

[Post edited 17 Feb 2023 14:56]

Poll:

Which is the worst QPR team?

If you were Critchley.... on 14:50 - Feb 17 with 1915 views

TomS

Quadruple the win bonus between now and the end of the season

If you were Critchley.... on 14:54 - Feb 17 with 1885 views

Sonofpugwash

Attack attack attack attack attack...........

Poll:

Dykes - love him or hate him?

If you were Critchley.... on 15:04 - Feb 17 with 1811 views

PlanetHonneywood

Get absolutely larrupped in the Bigg Market the night before.

Then I'd turn up, post up the team sheet and head off to the away end, where I'd join in with such classics as: 'you siht and you know you are'; 'sack the board'; and that odd unspecific demand of, 'we want our Rangers back' while hoping to feck its not the vintage that got us relegated to the third tier last time.

	'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
Poll:	Who should do the Birmingham Frederick?

If you were Critchley.... on 15:05 - Feb 17 with 1804 views

Monkey_Roots

I'd sh*t the life out of 'em by wheeling out Dykes in a wheelchair and have him use a Stephen Hawkins speak and spell to tell them 'If I die, I die'.

If you were Critchley.... on 15:10 - Feb 17 with 1769 views

stantheman10

Nothing to lose so go out and attack them.
Dieng
Kakay Dickie Dunne
Albert Stef Field Paal
Chair
Lowe Martin
3-4-1-2

If you were Critchley.... on 15:56 - Feb 17 with 1674 views

derbyhoop

If you were Critchley.... on 14:50 - Feb 17 by TomS
Quadruple the win bonus between now and the end of the season

Shouldn't cost much. If anything.

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky

If you were Critchley.... on 17:15 - Feb 17 with 1466 views

NorthantsHoop

If you were Critchley.... on 15:56 - Feb 17 by derbyhoop
Shouldn't cost much. If anything.

Call me mate Steven Gerard about where the next assistant coaching opportunity is going to be, for when I pick up my P45 and compensation payment next week.