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Portsmouth Media In Only One Interview Shocker
Portsmouth Media In Only One Interview Shocker
Friday, 15th Feb 2013 11:48

Once again TUI has gone undercover to expose corruption in football and can now reveal the shocking truth about Pompey player interviews.

In an exclusive interview to TUI granted only on condition of annonimity a journalist from the Portsmouth area has revealed the truth about lazy jounalism in the eastern end of Hampshire.

Speaking undercover of darkness and refusing to be photographed we have also used a different type setting in order to protect his identity.

" Many years ago we printed an article with a Pompey player where he didnt mention that Pompey fans were the bestest ever and better than any club that he had played for, sales of the newspaper plummetted and an editorial meeting put in stone a policy that would ensure that this would never happen again, we invesnted the "one interview fits all" regime, this suited us as hacks because it made our workload easier, we didnt have to think much and we could merely put the words in the players mouth and that suited them as well"

"the editor created a template and all new hacks were issued with it on day one, one guy didnt stick with it and started asking players silly things like did it affect the players to see so many empty seats, he was soon reduced to gardening stories in Gosport. The template worked brilliantly and our website stories soon saw hundreds of messages postings agreeing that Pompey fans were the bestest in the world and that for the purpose of full houses week in week out 11,000 should be considered packing the park.

"Since then we have merely published the same article every Friday, the only thing that changes in the text is the name of the player and the names of the clubs he has played for whom he considers Pompey fans to be better than, again if we can throw in a few European giants here or one of the big four Premier, even if the player only played half a dozen games at youth level then all the better"

At great expense TUI has come into possession of that template and we produce it here for you below, we are not going to pass judgement on this policy, nor name and shame anyone, all we would suggest if google a few pompey stories on any given Friday this season for instance and you will find this template used.  

* Delete as appropriate

** Enter as appropriate

**.......... sounded a Pompey war cry and promised fans: We care.

 

The *goalkeeper/centraldefender/midfielder/forward/manager/kitman/administrator has vowed to put his body on the line as the Blues go in search of their first win in ** games against ** tomorrow.

Guy Whittingham’s side do that after being lifted by a *clean sheet/drubbing **..... delivered a man-of-the-match performance as he robustly kept the opponents at bay with his no-nonsense defending/tackling/shooting and believes that display showed the committed style his game is all about.

**..... knows Pompey fans are suffering from their club’s struggles on and off the pitch at the moment.

But he moved to reassure them the players at Fratton Park are committed to the cause.

The days of the Blues shelling out big-money wages on players are long gone but so are some of the mercenaries who prospered from that.

**....... underlined that those who remain are motivated by the prospect of representing Pompey instead of financial gain.

He said: ‘I know what the fans are going through but what they should bear in mind is the players are here for them.

‘We are not here just to be a footballer and not care. I am not here for money.

‘I hate losing. I will put my neck on the line for them and do anything to win.

‘I will play with all my heart and give them what they deserve and want.

‘You can see from the characters of the people here they will do the same.

‘When you see the characters of them and get to know them, you see they want to play for the club.

‘I’ve played at the highest level for my country/school/village and for some teams you might have heard of.

‘But this is what I am. I am not at Portsmouth just for my own good.

‘I play with my heart and hate losing. That’s what I will do for this club.

‘I just hope we do something at home now because we are long overdue a good result for the fans there.’

The clash with **........ tomorrow represents a chance for Pompey fans to see their first win since October 20.

It’s been **......... long days since Shrewsbury were defeated at Fratton Park.

**........... has nothing but praise for the supporters who have stood behind their team during that run, while waiting to see if they will have a club in the Football League next season.

He insists their backing is the best he has seen in a career which has spanned spells at the likes of **.........................

And he feels he is well placed to have empathy with the Fratton faithful after facing struggles of his own.

**........... said: ‘I’ve played for some big, big clubs.

‘But I’ve never seen anything like it (at Pompey) – it’s ridiculous.

‘I know there’s only so much you can take in life.

‘I know this because I grew up in *Africa/Croatia/Leigh Park/Paulsgrove and times were hard. There is only so much you can take but they keep coming.

‘I have to say thank you to them for that.

‘Yes, these are hard times but they are the bestest fans ever.’

Photo: Action Images



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