| Old joke 20:43 - Nov 28 with 2503 views | colinallcars |
About the Old Firm Derby:
I Took the wife to a Rangers Celtic match once.
I asked if she enjoyed it. She said yes, apart from the Rangers fans chanting F*** the Pope.
I said the Celtic fans were just as bad, but F*** the Moderater General of the Royal United Church of Scotland doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
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| Old joke on 21:29 - Nov 28 with 2350 views | QPR_Hibs |
I like the one Billy Connolly tellls about the bloke that goes to the Old Firm derby and parks his car in the street. This kid says to him "Watch your car for a pound, Mister?" and he replies "It's OK son, I've got an alsatian in the back of the car."
Kid says "Puts out fires does he?" |  |
| "Remember to listen to me but look at her. Don't get it the wrong way round. That would be hideous." |
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| Old joke on 22:42 - Nov 28 with 2240 views | NewBee |
It's the Scottish Cup Final, Hampden is sold out, and Rangers fan Billy can only get a ticket in the Celtic end.
Desperate, he takes it and he thinks he's getting away with it until half time when Big Tim, standing alongside him, hands him some cash and tells him:
"Say stranger, go and get me and ma pals some Bovril".
He's about to trot off when Big Tim says:
"Not so fast pal, we can't have you running off with oor money, so leave us one of yer shoes".
Billy does as he's told, but when he gets back with the Bovrils, there's a great big steaming jobbie in his shoe.
"Thanks pal, you can put your shoe back on now. And the Bovril's very nice, by the way."
Full time arrives, but the game being level, extra time beckons, so Big Tim says:
"Here's some mair money, go and get us some mair Bovrils. And leave yer ither shoe".
And sure enough when he gets back, there's another jobbie in the other shoe.
Half an hour later, the game finally ends and theres one almighty riot in the stadium. Billy somehow manages to extricate himself and find a way out.
While he's squelching his way up the street, he meets a TV reporter who's rushing to report on the riot.
"Whats it's like, Sir, is it bad?", asks the reporter.
"Och aye, it's terrible", Billy replies.
"And do you think this hatred between Celtic and Rangers will ever end, then?"
"Not until they stop shittin' in oor shoes and we stop pissin' in their Bovril, no", replies Billy. [Post edited 28 Nov 2022 22:48]
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