Statement From Her Majesty's Football Club Wednesday, 5th Aug 2015 07:58 We at the Ugly Inside have exclusive access to a statement that could well be about to be released by Her Majesty Katharina Liebherr's Football Club. Ralph Krueger is about to address the people of Hampshire on Radio Solent at 8am this morning, this is a transcript of his speech I have to announce to the City that during the night and the early hours of this morning the first of the series of landings in force upon the European Continent has taken place. In this case the liberating assault fell upon the coast of France and airports of Holland. An immense armada of aircraft, together with cross channe ferries crossed the Channel. Massed airborne landings have been successfully effected behind the enemy lines and landings on the beaches are proceeding at various points at the present time. The fire of the Dutch immigration has been largely quelled. The obstacles that were constructed at Calais have not proved so difficult as was apprehended, a few burning tyres dos not stop Saints fans. The Anglo-American Allies are sustained by about 24 first line footballers, which can be drawn upon as may be needed for the purposes of the battle. I cannot, of course, commit myself to any particular details. Reports are coming in in rapid succession. So far the Commanders who are engaged report that everything is proceeding according to plan. And what a plan! This vast operation is undoubtedly the most complicated and difficult that has ever occurred in the history of Southampton Football Club. It involves tides, wind, waves, visibility, both from the air and the sea standpoint, and the combined employment of land, air and sea forces in the highest degree of intimacy and in contact with conditions which could not and cannot be fully foreseen. There are already hopes that actual tactical surprise has been attained, and we hope to furnish the enemy with a succession of surprises during the course of the battle. The battle that has now begun will grow constantly in scale and in intensity for many weeks to come and I shall not attempt to speculate upon its course. This I may say, however. Complete unity prevails throughout the Red Armies of Southampton. There is a brotherhood in arms between us and our friend from the United States (Tijuana Tim) The ardour and spirit of the troops, as I saw myself, embarking in these last few days was splendid to witness. Nothing that equipment, sports science or forethought could do has been neglected, and the whole process of opening this great new front will be pursued with the utmost resolution both by the commanders and by Southampton Football Club and the British Government whom they serve. With thanks to Winston Churchill in his own Europa League campaign in season 1944/45 Photo: Action Images Please report offensive, libellous or inappropriate posts by using the links provided.
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