| Crowdfunding my new kitchen/Ashton Gate hospitality packages 16:17 - May 2 with 11388 views | Konk |
Following extensive, tasteful and sensitive renovations to our Victorian terrace in Bristol’s equivalent to Crouch End circa 1995, we have officially run out of money. We need about £40,000 to install a new kitchen and make structural changes to the kitchen and breakfast room. Rather than go down the traditional route of saving-up, borrowing the money or going on the game, I have instead put together a collection of exiting match day hospitality packages.
Living a hop, skip and a jump from Bristol City’s Ashton Gate stadium, we’re ideally placed to offer a full range of superb pre and post-match hospitality for away fans visiting BS3.
What do you get for your money?
£1k donation: Whenever QPR play Bristol City away, you can come round my house for a few pre-match beers/ciders (maximum 4 per person) and an M&S sourced buffet to the value of approximately £10 per head.
£3k donation: As above, but in addition, you can come round our house AFTER the game, watch the results be read out on the BBC, drink up to 4 alcoholic drinks, and eat crisps with me until 7pm, when you must leave.
£5k donation: as per the £3k package, but you can stay until 9pm and we will organize a take-away of your choice to the value of £20 per person. Members of the 5K club will also be welcomed by a Prosecco reception and driven back to Templemeads in time for the last train as long as my wife hasn’t had a drink at that point (which is fu king unlikely).
£10k donation: as per the £5k package, but in addition, you can use the downstairs loo for a number two, manage the tv remote control and go through my underwear drawer like a dog on heat.
Paying for the whole kitchen: as per the £10k package, but in addition, you will be met off the train by my wife, wan ked-off by me in the downstairs loo after Football Focus, wan ked-off by me in the park across the road from Ashton Gate after the game, and put up overnight in our tastefully appointed guest room. In the morning, you will be given some Shreddies and driven to Templemeads by my wife, as long as she’s not too hungover.
Please contact me directly for further information. We hope to see some of you next season.
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| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Crowdfunding my new kitchen/Ashton Gate hospitality packages on 09:30 - Aug 12 with 1183 views | Konk |
| Crowdfunding my new kitchen/Ashton Gate hospitality packages on 08:24 - Aug 12 by Mytch_QPR |
I'm concerned about Mrs Konk. Is she feeling better?
Also, in the interests of fair play, can I enquire whether Fulham supporters will get a similar package this season or are they offered discounts / incentives / canapes?
As a friend of this board I think I should also just warn you of the risk of suffering from an RSI if Steve's review is anything to go by - particularly when the midweek fixtures start coming thick and fast (if you'll excuse the pun). [Post edited 12 Aug 2019 8:25]
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Thanks for your concern, mate. I wear a wrist support, so should be okay, but I would like to see the league introduce a break of Christmas/the New Year, because that schedule is exhausting, with back to back fixtures.
There's no need to worry about Mrs Konk - she just has a strong reaction to overloading on the corporate hospitality, that renders her unable to drive a car and sees her retire to her bed shortly past tea time. | |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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