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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 807690 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 13:15 - May 16 with 5845 viewsjohann28

Sad day today. My girlfriend left me. She'd finally had enough of my compulsive gambling

All i can think of now is how to win her back
7
Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - May 17 with 5601 viewsEsox_Lucius

I found a chippy that sells fish & chips on photocopier paper.
It's a little plaice on the A4.

The grass is always greener.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 22:50 - May 18 with 5423 viewscolinallcars

I was in the caff the other day and the bloke at the next table was eating a slice of veal, ham and egg pie with a pig's ear.
I tugged on the waitress's sleeve and said “who's that ?”
She said, “oh, that's Jim, he's just come out of the army. I think they said he was in the pie ‘n’ ear corps”
1
Corny Joke Warning on 11:57 - May 21 with 5290 views222gers

I went into that posh fish shop in Notting Hill Gate yesterday.
“I'd like a lobster please” I said.
“On the rocks sir ?” Said the shopkeeper.
0
Corny Joke Warning on 12:18 - May 21 with 5234 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 22:50 - May 18 by colinallcars

I was in the caff the other day and the bloke at the next table was eating a slice of veal, ham and egg pie with a pig's ear.
I tugged on the waitress's sleeve and said “who's that ?”
She said, “oh, that's Jim, he's just come out of the army. I think they said he was in the pie ‘n’ ear corps”


A partner in crime with...
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three; a left ear, a right ear and a wild front ear.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 12:58 - May 21 with 5199 views222gers

Corny Joke Warning on 12:18 - May 21 by Esox_Lucius

A partner in crime with...
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three; a left ear, a right ear and a wild front ear.


Also, I went into the pub the other day and Vincent Van Gogh was sitting at a table.
I shouted “oi Vince want a pint ?”
“No, it's OK mate, I've got one 'ear” he said.
2
Corny Joke Warning on 14:18 - May 21 with 5111 viewsNewBee

Corny Joke Warning on 12:18 - May 21 by Esox_Lucius

A partner in crime with...
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three; a left ear, a right ear and a wild front ear.


Captain Kirk - a Right ear, a Left ear and Space, the final Front ear.
2
Corny Joke Warning on 18:30 - May 21 with 4985 viewsLblock

When's the best time to eat a Ruby Murray?

When Tariq Aziz

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 18:10 - May 28 with 4654 viewsEsox_Lucius

After a troop of monkeys murdered Mr Smith, the local paper stole a line from Freddy Mercury for the following headline.
Mammals, just killed a man.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 02:30 - May 29 with 4512 viewsBoston

Y'know why you should never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes?

Coz you're a mile away with a new free footwear.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 15:29 - Jun 4 with 4219 viewscolinallcars

I was at the doctor's this morning - he told me to watch my drinking.
So I went straight down to the Dog & Muffler and asked the Guv'nor to put a mirror behind the bar.
0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:18 - Jun 10 with 3908 viewshantssi

The sky was looking ominous so l asked Siri,
"Surely, it's not going to rain today?"
And she replied, "Yes it is, and don't call me Shirley."
That was when I realized I'd left my phone on Airplane mode.
8
Corny Joke Warning on 20:59 - Jun 10 with 3870 viewsSonofpugwash

Went on a blind date and my mate said;
"Quick heads up- she's expecting a baby."

I felt like a right pillock waiting at the bar, wearing a nappy.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

6
Corny Joke Warning on 21:44 - Jun 10 with 3834 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 20:18 - Jun 10 by hantssi

The sky was looking ominous so l asked Siri,
"Surely, it's not going to rain today?"
And she replied, "Yes it is, and don't call me Shirley."
That was when I realized I'd left my phone on Airplane mode.


Brilliant

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:49 - Jun 11 with 3621 viewsRebalhoop

My lesbian friend has just started making her own bread,
She uses dill dough
1
Corny Joke Warning on 10:57 - Jun 12 with 3520 viewsEsox_Lucius

Mum! Which setting do I use on the washing machine?
What are you washing?
A Tee shirt
What does it say on the Tee shirt?
Blink 182

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 14:15 - Jun 12 with 3437 viewsSonofpugwash

Got arrested for playing Engelbert Humperdinck records too loud, all night.

Police released me, let me go.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 15:57 - Jun 12 with 3385 viewsloftboy

Who’s the patron saint of Emails?



















Francis of a CC

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

0
Corny Joke Warning on 21:08 - Jun 12 with 3279 viewsSonofpugwash

My dad was notoriously tight with money.
When tipping taxi drivers, he would slip something into their top pocket saying “Have a drink on me!”.
When they checked, they’d find it was a teabag.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Jun 13 with 3130 viewsSonofpugwash

True story...
Tommy Cooper talking to Queen Elizabeth after the Royal Variety show.
"Can I ask you a personal question maam?"
"Depends what it is."
"Do you like football?"
" Not really."
"Can I have your Cup Final tickets then?"


Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 22:47 - Jun 13 with 3018 viewsDiscodroids


The Duke Of New York. A-Number One.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 16:20 - Jun 20 with 2728 viewshantssi

Ooh archaeologists have just unearthed a 16th century pencil belonging to Shakespeare…..

……Scientists are trying to work out if it's 2B or not 2B
1
Corny Joke Warning on 19:19 - Jun 20 with 2625 viewsBoston

A Nuetron walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

"How much is it", he enquires?

"For you", comes the reply, "no charge".

"

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 21:03 - Jun 20 with 2556 viewsRebalhoop

I’m going to make Bras from a material that never loses it’s shape…

Mammary foam..
1
Corny Joke Warning on 17:13 - Jun 25 with 2241 viewsEsox_Lucius

As the years are piling up now I sometimes find myself in a reflective mood and looking back on all the people I've lost over those years.
I don't think I was cut out to be a tour guide.

The grass is always greener.

1
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