Forum | I Like Dom Ball by Dorse

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I Like Dom Ball 17:01 - Mar 26 with 7692 views

To most people on here, this is not news. I basically mention him every week, spreading lies, half-truths and outright bullshit about his latest art installations, spoken word albums etc. Again, not news. However, I don't think I've ever explained why.

Je suis Dom Ball.

No, seriously. I am not Dom Ball in the literal sense but I feel like Dom Ball represents us better than just about anyone I can think of since than Ollie's first stint. Dom is not the most naturally-gifted player but the way he approaches each game is exactly the way any one of us would. Imagine it: we get the call. 'Dorse, Yoann's injured today but he reckons you could do a shift. What do you reckon? You up for it?'

F U C K Y E S B O S S

That's Dom. Right back? Give it a go. Defensive mid? I could do that. You get feeling that if Warbs asked him to guard a tree in his garden overnight, Dom would be putting on his shinpads and headtorch before he'd finished speaking. And that'd be me too. If I got the chance to pull in the hoops - just once! -I'd play exactly like him. Like the luckiest bloke in the world. Like a guy who has been told to enjoy it, you might never do this again.

I would also get a yellow card in the first 8 seconds (due to overexcitement). Dom, I get it mate. I really do.

Look at his face throughout the second half when he got called on to replace Barbet: he looked like he was having the time of his life. 'Dom? Scarlett Johansen's on the phone for you'. In a minute, tell her I'm busy.

Added to this, when he's not being who I would want to be on the field, he's being who I would want to be off it. Community work, food banks. The Dominator even won an award for it last season. Think about it: the only QPR player who won anything last season was Dom Ball. I mean, apart from the unofficial Smelliest Dump of the Year award that went to Ozzie Kakay after the team visited Fatty Amal's Kebab House.

Finally, I would argue that he has everything required to be considered a cult hero. Firstly, other clubs don't get what we see in him. Secondly, he never let's us down even when he's not the best player out there: we never expected him to be. Third, he would run through a burning brick wall, before crawling (on fire) over broken glass with his flies unzipped, simply to put lolly sticks in shit for this funny little club. He is the complete antithesis of people like comedy Frenchman Joe E Bartonne, or Armand Traore. Sirs, I submit to you that if Bircham is a club legend, the so is Dom Ball.

That is why I keep making up stuff about him. My whole schtick has Dom doing his absolute best to entertain, most often not really understanding what people want but never giving up or backing down. You paid to see Dom, and by God, your going to get the whole show.

I want to live in a world where Dom Ball is a QPR player.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

I Like Dom Ball on 23:25 - Mar 30 with 1459 views

digswellhoop

hes better than most

I Like Dom Ball on 16:22 - Mar 31 with 1353 views

222gers

I Like Dom Ball on 23:25 - Mar 30 by digswellhoop
hes better than most

And he likes egg on toast

I Like Dom Ball on 17:12 - Mar 31 with 1311 views

qprphil

I'm at a loss as to why he is continually overlooked. He's the sort of player when on the pitch will get others going......

I Like Dom Ball on 17:24 - Mar 31 with 1290 views

eastside_r

I am not his greatest fan, but surely there is an argument to start him on Saturday if only to ‘rough up’ the Fulham midfield (sorry Konk.)

I Like Dom Ball on 15:16 - Apr 1 with 1149 views

francisbowles

I Like Dom Ball on 17:24 - Mar 31 by eastside_r
I am not his greatest fan, but surely there is an argument to start him on Saturday if only to ‘rough up’ the Fulham midfield (sorry Konk.)

I like him on the bench but he's not better than Field, Johansen or Amos.

I Like Dom Ball on 19:05 - Apr 1 with 1086 views

Dorse

I Like Dom Ball on 15:16 - Apr 1 by francisbowles
I like him on the bench but he's not better than Field, Johansen or Amos.

How dare you. They only look good because of Dom selflessly playing a bit worse than them. We all know the truth.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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