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"As I was saying to Sharon the other night, if I'm honest, this is the best squad I've ever had."
"I needed a new keeper and wanted to bring in Paddy Kenny over the summer, but he didn't take my calls. So I rang up my old mates at QPR and got Joe Lumley on a freebie. The only condition was that we get our announcer to play Pigbag every time they score at the Riverside."