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You meet a witch in the White Horse, you get chatting, buy her a couple of drinks, the conversation turns to football, and she makes a proposition. She will cast a spell to guarantee that QPR will win the league once every five years for the rest of your life, with two FA cups thrown in every decade. The witch will also transform Loftus Road into a 30,000 stadium with loads of legroom. In return, you have to get her another drink, a bag of nuts, and promise to do the following:
1) You cannot tell anyone about the deal you’ve made with the witch. 2) You will never go to watch Rangers again. Ever. You can’t even watch them on the telly. 3) You have to spend the rest of your life wearing a Chelsea shirt, Chelsea tracksuit bottoms and a Chelsea puffa jacket. Even when it’s hot. If you have to wear a suit for a wedding/funeral/christening, you have to wear a Chelsea tie, tie-pin and cuff-links. 4) If anyone asks which team you support, you have to say, “I'm a massive Chelsea fan”. 5) You have to go down the pub to watch every Chelsea game, and when Chelsea score, you have to march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum. 6) Any time Chelsea get to a cup final, you have to go down the pub with celery taped to your head, and push a lawn mower round the pub singing, “Ten men went to mow…”, all fu cking game.
If you willingly breach any of these conditions, QPR will never score another goal.
What would you do? Would you make that deal or would you walk away? If you'd walk away, why?
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 10:00]
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 22:13 - Mar 11 with 1098 views
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:56 - Mar 11 by Konk
If you want, but I worry that we've become distracted again.
Yes or No to the wizard's deal?
This wizard, where does he get off making deals like this? I mean, if I went down the boozer outside Hogwarts and said to Harry Potter that if he buys me a pint of Camden Hells and a bag of Frazzles (because I don't eat pork scratchings) then Hermione would definitely turn into a raging nympho but he has to bum Draco 15 times a month to see it happen, I'd get barred. And probably turned into a stinky toad. And yet, this wizard remains unglassed! Not even a Chinese burn!
I tell you, it's one rule for alcoholic semi mythical magic wielders and another for us.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 22:21]
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 22:41 - Mar 11 with 1052 views
Neither Dennis Wise nor any members of his family will be involved in the ownership of the club, but I can understand where the confusion arose. Apologies for that. It will simply be a generic, low profile, yet accessible, family of wise people.
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:17 - Mar 12 with 934 views
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 09:48 - Mar 12 by Konk
This is the witch:
This is the wizard:
Neither Dennis Wise nor any members of his family will be involved in the ownership of the club, but I can understand where the confusion arose. Apologies for that. It will simply be a generic, low profile, yet accessible, family of wise people.
Ah, you're having us on. That's not a picture of a real wizard, that's Mr Benn in the costume shop.
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:34 - Mar 12 with 929 views
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:17 - Mar 12 by TomS
Ah, you're having us on. That's not a picture of a real wizard, that's Mr Benn in the costume shop.
Okay, forget about the wizard. It's not a wizard, it's a wise bloke (not related to Dennis) who promises with 100% cast iron certainty to carry out all of the stuff the wizard said earlier, and in return you have to march round the pub singing 'Blue is the colour' and pretending to play a big bass drum.
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 09:48 - Mar 12 by Konk
This is the witch:
This is the wizard:
Neither Dennis Wise nor any members of his family will be involved in the ownership of the club, but I can understand where the confusion arose. Apologies for that. It will simply be a generic, low profile, yet accessible, family of wise people.
You've ruined it. A sexy witch with big Bristols and appropriate stadium legroom had me salivating now I've got to consult Pele about erectile dysfunction.
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 14:02 - Mar 12 with 881 views
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 22:41 - Mar 11 by BrianMcCarthy
Konk,
Could we have a photo of the witch?
And the wizard's sleeve?
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:14 - Mar 12 with 843 views
Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:50 - Mar 12 by Konk
Okay, forget about the wizard. It's not a wizard, it's a wise bloke (not related to Dennis) who promises with 100% cast iron certainty to carry out all of the stuff the wizard said earlier, and in return you have to march round the pub singing 'Blue is the colour' and pretending to play a big bass drum.
Yes or no?
Could we sing this instead? I mean, it's basically the same song.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 20:14 - Mar 12 with 818 views
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