| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? 09:55 - Mar 11 with 7287 views | Konk |
You meet a witch in the White Horse, you get chatting, buy her a couple of drinks, the conversation turns to football, and she makes a proposition. She will cast a spell to guarantee that QPR will win the league once every five years for the rest of your life, with two FA cups thrown in every decade. The witch will also transform Loftus Road into a 30,000 stadium with loads of legroom. In return, you have to get her another drink, a bag of nuts, and promise to do the following:
1) You cannot tell anyone about the deal you’ve made with the witch.
2) You will never go to watch Rangers again. Ever. You can’t even watch them on the telly.
3) You have to spend the rest of your life wearing a Chelsea shirt, Chelsea tracksuit bottoms and a Chelsea puffa jacket. Even when it’s hot. If you have to wear a suit for a wedding/funeral/christening, you have to wear a Chelsea tie, tie-pin and cuff-links.
4) If anyone asks which team you support, you have to say, “I'm a massive Chelsea fan”.
5) You have to go down the pub to watch every Chelsea game, and when Chelsea score, you have to march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum.
6) Any time Chelsea get to a cup final, you have to go down the pub with celery taped to your head, and push a lawn mower round the pub singing, “Ten men went to mow…”, all fu cking game.
If you willingly breach any of these conditions, QPR will never score another goal.
What would you do? Would you make that deal or would you walk away? If you'd walk away, why?
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 10:00]
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| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:08 - Mar 11 with 1542 views | ted_hendrix |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:57 - Mar 11 by Dorse |
Ah, moved on to harpies and succubii. Understandable but if you will go drinking in Mordor, what can you expect? |
Not coming on this thread anymore it's become 'spooky', every time I click on it I start singing Nina Simone's "I Put a Spell on You" In a perfect Italian accent.
Odd. |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:10 - Mar 11 with 1542 views | Konk |
I cannot believe that no-one's wobbling over this one. Putting your own happiness ahead of your fellow fans... I personally wouldn't do it either, because I'd want us to earn any success, but then you get onto wealthy, ethically-questionable owners pumping loads of money in to skew the competition, and plenty of people are happy to live with that if it means a bit of success...but then if none of my mates knew about the deal with the witch, they could just get on and innocently enjoy it.
Right, so you meet a witch in the pub and she says, if you buy me a pint, I'll guarantee you win the league next year, would you go for that? | |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:10 - Mar 11 with 1537 views | welwynranger |
I'd walk away and leave her lying there.
But I did meet a witch. I picked her up as a hitchhiker.
She told me she was a witch and could turn me into anything.
I said "I dont believe you"
"Just keep driving and I will cast a spell" she said.
A few miles further on she put her hand on my knee and I turned into a lay by |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:32 - Mar 11 with 1494 views | Superhoop83 |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:54 - Mar 11 by Konk |
But think of the joy all that winning would bring to your fellow fans? And you could sit there in the pub before/after games, watching them celebrating winning the league, and even though you were sat in a Chelsea puffa jacket and all your mates now thought you were a complete oddball, you'd have the quiet satisfaction of knowing you'd made it all possible. A bit like if there was no FFP and you spent £1bn on your club. A new stadium on the LR site, the club's future secured in W12...is no one even tempted for the common good?! |
That would be as much fun as marrying Kelly Brook and then watching her leave the pub for an orgy 50 times a year. |  |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:56 - Mar 11 with 1456 views | stevec |
I must have walked away 50 years ago by the sounds of it. |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 14:01 - Mar 11 with 1449 views | denhamhoop2 |
Could I add Chelsea would go out of existence might make it bearable obviously would make me look like Russell Grant and his obsession with Middlesex just for Chelscum. But on a more important note do I get to take the witch home to help her ride my broomstick | | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 14:21 - Mar 11 with 1418 views | Antti_Heinola |
Walk away.
Knowing it's been fixed, even winning the league wouldn't feel that great. Zero interest even before the Chelsea stuff! |  |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 14:58 - Mar 11 with 1383 views | francisbowles |
I'd go for the Kerry Dixon tattoo proposition. If that was all that was required, I'd have one of him blazing a penalty over the bar at Loftus Road and then a 6-0 tattoo on the other cheek to remind him of other defeats on our ground. | | | |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 15:40 - Mar 11 with 1360 views | daveB |
Unless she buys a round soon I'm walking away |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 15:46 - Mar 11 with 1345 views | kensalriser |
Slow day at work today! |  |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 15:54 - Mar 11 with 1338 views | WatfordR |
Could she not just cast a spell to make the scum disappear, and let us wear our QPR shirt for ever more? |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 16:41 - Mar 11 with 1291 views | qpr_1968 |
winning anything supporting qpr now is a massive bonus.
its all about the day for me, when things get back to normal.
the breakfast, the pub, interrupted by 90 minutes, the pub, fast food.....home..ish.
would'nt give that up for the world.
if i did meet a witch in the pub, i'd ask for another world class number 10, that'll do for me.
can watch him every week then. | |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 16:57 - Mar 11 with 1273 views | loftboy |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:10 - Mar 11 by welwynranger |
I'd walk away and leave her lying there.
But I did meet a witch. I picked her up as a hitchhiker.
She told me she was a witch and could turn me into anything.
I said "I dont believe you"
"Just keep driving and I will cast a spell" she said.
A few miles further on she put her hand on my knee and I turned into a lay by |
That should have gone on the corny joke thread!!
We do have a “white witch” that is a season ticket holder I’m not going to name her as she’s a lovely lady , but most of you that go regularly away or sit in the paddocks will know her! |  |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 17:04 - Mar 11 with 1261 views | Juzzie |
I would agree to all of the Witches requirements for the benefit of my fellow QPR fans (who wouldn't know it was therefore a hollow success).........
........... the day before I die. |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 18:19 - Mar 11 with 1214 views | denhamhoop2 |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 17:04 - Mar 11 by Juzzie |
I would agree to all of the Witches requirements for the benefit of my fellow QPR fans (who wouldn't know it was therefore a hollow success).........
........... the day before I die. |
But you would be buried in a Chelscum shirt and welcomed by the Devil in it(Surely all of them have sold their soul to him) | | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 18:45 - Mar 11 with 1188 views | Woog |
It depends on the bag of nuts.
If she wanted a bag containing John Terry's and Frank Lampard's nuts, I would definitely consider the deal. | | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:24 - Mar 11 with 1155 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
I'm doing it - but I can't stand celery... can I tape some Pak Choi or broccoli to my head instead??
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:26 - Mar 11 with 1153 views | numptydumpty |
Ok I will do that so you will all have to secretly hero worship me !!!!!!
If QPR won things every five years we would be Chelsea not QPR anyhow - wheres the fun in winning leagues and cups when you can moan when the six game winning streak is replaced by a ten game run without a win every single season
Much more fun
But if you want me to do this tell me where this witch is and we can get chatting !!!!!!! |  |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:59 - Mar 11 with 1136 views | Konk |
Right, I think the original post was intended to be a metaphor or an allegory or something for fans who are happy to see their clubs sell their souls in return for billions of £ of investment and the trophies that follow. But it's been a dismal failure, so let's forget all about the witch.
You're in a pub that does Real ale. The floors aren't sticky. It doesn't sell nuts. You get chatting to a bloke at the bar. He doesn't have tits. It turns out he's a wizard. The conversation turns to football, you tell him about the chat you had with the witch in the White Horse, and he listens as you outline your reasons for turning down the witch's proposal. He thinks for a minute and then he says:
"What about, I don't guarantee you trophies, but I do guarantee you that QPR will never again be in financial jeopardy? Rangers would be run for the next thousand years by a wise family, who will make inspired managerial appointments, and support those managers when it comes to buying and selling players. It will cost as much to watch a game, as it costs to go to the cinema, and the away kit will always be red and black hoops. On top of that, they will redevelop Loftus Road into a 30,000 All-seater stadium - digging down in necessary. Something along the lines of Boa Vista's stadium."
Sounds good doesn't it? And in return, all you have to do when it doesn't clash with a Rangers game, is go down the pub to watch every Chelsea match, and when Chelsea score, march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum. If you renege on the deal, the wizard will ensure that QPR never win another match.
That sounds more than reasonable to me. Anyone who doesn't agree to that doesn't love their club and doesn't care about its future. Simple as. No excuses. No exceptions. Are you in or are you out? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 20:02]
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| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 20:48 - Mar 11 with 1073 views | SonofNorfolt |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:59 - Mar 11 by Konk |
Right, I think the original post was intended to be a metaphor or an allegory or something for fans who are happy to see their clubs sell their souls in return for billions of £ of investment and the trophies that follow. But it's been a dismal failure, so let's forget all about the witch.
You're in a pub that does Real ale. The floors aren't sticky. It doesn't sell nuts. You get chatting to a bloke at the bar. He doesn't have tits. It turns out he's a wizard. The conversation turns to football, you tell him about the chat you had with the witch in the White Horse, and he listens as you outline your reasons for turning down the witch's proposal. He thinks for a minute and then he says:
"What about, I don't guarantee you trophies, but I do guarantee you that QPR will never again be in financial jeopardy? Rangers would be run for the next thousand years by a wise family, who will make inspired managerial appointments, and support those managers when it comes to buying and selling players. It will cost as much to watch a game, as it costs to go to the cinema, and the away kit will always be red and black hoops. On top of that, they will redevelop Loftus Road into a 30,000 All-seater stadium - digging down in necessary. Something along the lines of Boa Vista's stadium."
Sounds good doesn't it? And in return, all you have to do when it doesn't clash with a Rangers game, is go down the pub to watch every Chelsea match, and when Chelsea score, march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum. If you renege on the deal, the wizard will ensure that QPR never win another match.
That sounds more than reasonable to me. Anyone who doesn't agree to that doesn't love their club and doesn't care about its future. Simple as. No excuses. No exceptions. Are you in or are you out? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 20:02]
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The witch part was the only bit that I liked. Just me? |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 20:54 - Mar 11 with 1077 views | qpr_1968 |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:59 - Mar 11 by Konk |
Right, I think the original post was intended to be a metaphor or an allegory or something for fans who are happy to see their clubs sell their souls in return for billions of £ of investment and the trophies that follow. But it's been a dismal failure, so let's forget all about the witch.
You're in a pub that does Real ale. The floors aren't sticky. It doesn't sell nuts. You get chatting to a bloke at the bar. He doesn't have tits. It turns out he's a wizard. The conversation turns to football, you tell him about the chat you had with the witch in the White Horse, and he listens as you outline your reasons for turning down the witch's proposal. He thinks for a minute and then he says:
"What about, I don't guarantee you trophies, but I do guarantee you that QPR will never again be in financial jeopardy? Rangers would be run for the next thousand years by a wise family, who will make inspired managerial appointments, and support those managers when it comes to buying and selling players. It will cost as much to watch a game, as it costs to go to the cinema, and the away kit will always be red and black hoops. On top of that, they will redevelop Loftus Road into a 30,000 All-seater stadium - digging down in necessary. Something along the lines of Boa Vista's stadium."
Sounds good doesn't it? And in return, all you have to do when it doesn't clash with a Rangers game, is go down the pub to watch every Chelsea match, and when Chelsea score, march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum. If you renege on the deal, the wizard will ensure that QPR never win another match.
That sounds more than reasonable to me. Anyone who doesn't agree to that doesn't love their club and doesn't care about its future. Simple as. No excuses. No exceptions. Are you in or are you out? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 20:02]
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the last paragraph sounds just like the stadium announcer who told us to get off the pitch in 1987...... | |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:36 - Mar 11 with 1032 views | TomS |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 19:59 - Mar 11 by Konk |
Right, I think the original post was intended to be a metaphor or an allegory or something for fans who are happy to see their clubs sell their souls in return for billions of £ of investment and the trophies that follow. But it's been a dismal failure, so let's forget all about the witch.
You're in a pub that does Real ale. The floors aren't sticky. It doesn't sell nuts. You get chatting to a bloke at the bar. He doesn't have tits. It turns out he's a wizard. The conversation turns to football, you tell him about the chat you had with the witch in the White Horse, and he listens as you outline your reasons for turning down the witch's proposal. He thinks for a minute and then he says:
"What about, I don't guarantee you trophies, but I do guarantee you that QPR will never again be in financial jeopardy? Rangers would be run for the next thousand years by a wise family, who will make inspired managerial appointments, and support those managers when it comes to buying and selling players. It will cost as much to watch a game, as it costs to go to the cinema, and the away kit will always be red and black hoops. On top of that, they will redevelop Loftus Road into a 30,000 All-seater stadium - digging down in necessary. Something along the lines of Boa Vista's stadium."
Sounds good doesn't it? And in return, all you have to do when it doesn't clash with a Rangers game, is go down the pub to watch every Chelsea match, and when Chelsea score, march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum. If you renege on the deal, the wizard will ensure that QPR never win another match.
That sounds more than reasonable to me. Anyone who doesn't agree to that doesn't love their club and doesn't care about its future. Simple as. No excuses. No exceptions. Are you in or are you out? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 20:02]
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So, does the wizard buy a round when it's his turn? |  | | |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:50 - Mar 11 with 1010 views | Konk |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:36 - Mar 11 by TomS |
So, does the wizard buy a round when it's his turn? |
If it will help move things on, yes, he buys you six pints and a bucket of crisps. He's a really nice wizard. [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 21:51]
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| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:51 - Mar 11 with 1007 views | Dorse |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:50 - Mar 11 by Konk |
If it will help move things on, yes, he buys you six pints and a bucket of crisps. He's a really nice wizard. [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 21:51]
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Frazzles? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 21:51]
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:56 - Mar 11 with 989 views | Konk |
| Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 21:51 - Mar 11 by Dorse |
Frazzles? [Post edited 11 Mar 2021 21:51]
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If you want, but I worry that we've become distracted again.
Yes or No to the wizard's deal? | |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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