| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 862217 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:25 - Jan 5 with 8221 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife accused me of having an affair with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
How could she say that? |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:54 - Jan 5 with 8194 views | qprphil |
I was just thinking , if you put a vaccine in beer, and opened up all the pubs, the whole country would be vaccinated in a week. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:35 - Jan 5 with 8079 views | Esox_Lucius |
I pulled up at the traffic lights next to a stunning looking girl,
I smiled at her and wound my window down,
She smiled back and wound her window down.
I said "have you farted as well?" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - Jan 7 with 7968 views | acricketer |
My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:51 - Jan 7 with 7925 views | GaryT |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:28 - Jan 3 by loftboy |
What did the drummer name his twin girls?
Anna1 Anna2 |
Esox gives a thumbs up to a joke he told himself less than a month ago!
This is taking Spackmaning to a new level! 
OK, OK, I promise not to point out any more Spackmans. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:41 - Jan 7 with 7853 views | DavieQPR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:54 - Jan 5 by qprphil |
I was just thinking , if you put a vaccine in beer, and opened up all the pubs, the whole country would be vaccinated in a week. |
Give it to Amazon drivers, they could vaccinate everyone within a week or two days if they have Prime. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:57 - Jan 9 with 7704 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - Jan 7 by acricketer |
My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage... |
Six up votes yet the joke stinks. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:48 - Jan 10 with 7652 views | johann28 |
During the latest lockdown I've written my autobiography. The missus didn't enjoy it, she can't understand why I'm so obsessed with my car. |  | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:36 - Jan 11 with 7579 views | Dorse |
Got a steering wheel stuck down my trousers. Tell you what, it's driving me nuts. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 13 with 7458 views | Esox_Lucius |
I accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.
My wife asked me if I was going to be OK.
I told her "my next trip to the toilet could spell disaster". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:16 - Jan 14 with 7378 views | loftboy |
I hired this bloke to do seven simple jobs to fix around my house. But he only done tasks number 1,3,5 and 7.
Apparently he was just an odd job man. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 with 7362 views | hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:25 - Jan 14 with 7284 views | Dorse |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 by hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. |
Damn it. Fat fingers Hantssi. Down arrowed whilst trying to up arrow.
What a hunt. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:41 - Jan 15 with 7230 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:27 - Jan 14 by hantssi |
Dear Sir
On behalf of Channel 4 may I thank you for your
application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new
reality show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed.
Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution
to the program if selected, I would point out that the
correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt".
Kind regards
Channel 4. |
Aha, the seafood diet. when she see's food she eats it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:29 - Jan 15 with 7118 views | Myke |
My Spanish mate rang me to tell me he is trying a new non-protein diet.
I said 'No whey Jose!' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:40 - Jan 16 with 7004 views | Myke |
I said to one of my students "Give me a sentence beginning with'I'"
The kid goes "I is the..."
"No", I interrupted him, "Don't say 'I is', say "I am"'
The student hesitates.
"Go on", I encouraged him.
"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:00 - Jan 18 with 6903 views | johann28 |
Can't stand cricket. I mean, what's the point of watching someone endlessly hitting a ball with a piece of wood? Give me snooker any day. [Post edited 18 Jan 2021 22:40]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 19 with 6785 views | Esox_Lucius |
There’s rumours that the vaccine is going to run out soon, the Pfizer chiefs predict a riot. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:01 - Jan 20 with 6719 views | Boston |
Mrs Boston works in the medical world and some time ago she handed me a compilation of doctors observations, a few I still remember....
The patient had no previous history of suicides.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient was experiencing numbness from her toes down.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:34 - Jan 20 with 6639 views | Esox_Lucius |
Just hearing reports of a man collapsing on the London Eye this morning. Paramedics on the scene said the man was coming around slowly. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:07 - Jan 21 with 6546 views | Esox_Lucius |
My mate’s tyre and puncture repair business is so successful he recently moved into a big, old Manor House in the country.
And to think he only started with a small flat. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:18 - Jan 21 with 6541 views | Myke |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:40 - Jan 13 by Esox_Lucius |
I accidentally swallowed a whole bag of Scrabble tiles.
My wife asked me if I was going to be OK.
I told her "my next trip to the toilet could spell disaster". |
I am a member of a very exclusive scrabble club. But I have fallen behind with the membership fee payments and their solicitor is now sending me threatening letters | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:29 - Jan 21 with 7598 views | Esox_Lucius |
INTERVIEWER: So, could you name anyone who inspires you?
ME: Peter Piper.
INTERVIEWER: What does he do?
ME: It's hard to say. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:10 - Jan 24 with 7395 views | Myke |
Young, successful businessman out for a drive in his convertible sports car. The sun was beaming, he had the roof rolled back and the wind was blowing through his hair. The only thing spoiling the experience as he sped along narrow country roads was having to swerve past the occasional stray sheep.
He came around a bend and had to brake sharply as a farmer stood in the middle of the road. He was quite elderly, a little overweight, was sweating profusely and was clearly exhausted.
'I'm sorry for bothering you ' puffed the old farmer ' but could you please help me round up my sheep. I've been trying for hours'.
'No problem, man. Happy to help. How many have you got?'
'Oh thank you! ' the farmer cried, 'sixty eight '.
'Well that's easy, man! Seventy' he shouted before speeding off | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:35 - Jan 24 with 7333 views | Dorse |
A bloke came up to me a said he was going to attack me with a guitar neck. I think it was probably just a fret. [Post edited 25 Jan 2021 7:53]
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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