| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1115338 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:41 - Sep 8 with 7098 views | Esox_Lucius |
Somebody has been grassing up the local PE teachers for their lack of qualifications but nobody knows who the whistle blowers are. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:54 - Sep 29 with 6367 views | johann28 |
Christ, what a morning. On the way to the tube a clarinet tripped me up, then a violin hit me over the head whilst a nasty looking bassoon kicked me in the guts.
I'm not usually one for conspiracy theories, but this looks to me suspiciously like an orchestrated attack. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:29 - Oct 4 with 5807 views | johann28 |
Make sure you catch a stunning new Netflix series in which a wealthy young man gradually attempts to fix the face of his metal fiancee.
It's called Bride's Head Re-Riveted | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:14 - Oct 8 with 5455 views | Esox_Lucius |
I paid in advance for a joiner to build me a double bed and he's done a bunk. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:48 - Oct 8 with 5405 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:54 - Sep 29 by johann28 |
Christ, what a morning. On the way to the tube a clarinet tripped me up, then a violin hit me over the head whilst a nasty looking bassoon kicked me in the guts.
I'm not usually one for conspiracy theories, but this looks to me suspiciously like an orchestrated attack. |
Rushed down to the local hospital and fixed up with a tuba glue no doubt. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:38 - Oct 10 with 4995 views | Esox_Lucius |
I heard back today regarding my application to become a postman. I start last Monday. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:06 - Oct 14 with 4707 views | hantssi |
Having a bad day?
That’s nothing. I’m frightened of German sausages so had to go to the doctor as I feared the wurst. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:09 - Oct 14 with 4702 views | Esox_Lucius |
As it is Columbus Day, I decided to steal something off someone and claim it as mine.
(wah haay a bit of politics © Ben Elton) | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:01 - Oct 14 with 4577 views | hantssi |
I was out in town yesterday and a bloke came up to me and asked “Are those thick lens glasses?”
So I said “No they’re mine.” | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:43 - Oct 14 with 4527 views | London_Pride |
Hyphenated
Non-hyphenated
The irony! |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:24 - Oct 14 with 4416 views | Boston |
Why is Britain so wet?
A monarch has reigned for hundreds of years. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:18 - Oct 14 with 4302 views | loftboy |
My mate just spent £500 on a limo for his wedding, he just found out it comes without a driver!
All that money and nothing to chauffeur it. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:06 - Oct 24 with 3638 views | hantssi |
I've just arranged a date with a woman who identifies as a wheelie bin ... the trouble is I can't remember if I'm taking her out Tuesday or Wednesday 😶 | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:38 - Oct 27 with 3316 views | Esox_Lucius |
How many Skunks does it take to make a stink?
A phew. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:09 - Oct 27 with 3264 views | SK_hoops |
Apparently most Catholics never update their phone contracts.
It's original SIM. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Oct 28 with 3096 views | Boston |
Why do doctor's carry red pens?
In case they have to draw blood. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:03 - Oct 31 with 2745 views | johann28 |
So, we go back in the mists of time to the origins of the Olympics, when Pheidippides, the Greek messenger, who was taking part in the Battle of Marathon in 490 BC. As the battle was near a victorious end for the Greek army, and ran the entire 25 miles to Athens without stopping, before finally bursting into the assembly, exclaiming "we have won!", before collapsing and dying.
Just before he died, he was crushed to hear someone saying over him 'yeah, we know all that, there was a Kenyan bloke who came here ahead of you.' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:36 - Oct 31 with 2675 views | Myke |
What is the most indecisive town in Ireland? Carrick Unsure | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:12 - Oct 31 with 2600 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
I've never had a lentil on my face. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:12 - Oct 31 with 2526 views | Mick_S |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:01 - Oct 14 by hantssi |
I was out in town yesterday and a bloke came up to me and asked “Are those thick lens glasses?”
So I said “No they’re mine.” |
That is feckin’ funny. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:42 - Oct 31 with 2440 views | willesdenr |
My grandfather told me that he saw the Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the ship would sink, but nobody listened.
He was a brave man. He wouldn't give up. He warned them again and again on several occasions.
Until management kicked him out of the cinema. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:54 - Oct 31 with 2307 views | colinallcars |
I've got a new neighbour - moved in a couple of days ago. We shook hands and she said “I'm a librarian”
I said “oh, welcome to England” |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:03 - Nov 5 with 1857 views | johann28 |
Just back from the final of the Badgers' world tennis championship.
Terrific stuff. It was the best of 5 setts | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:22 - Nov 10 with 1415 views | Lblock |
Went on an outward bounds survival course this weekend.
Nobody was allowed to be warm at night.
In fact there was a blanket ban |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:42 - Nov 11 with 1300 views | Boston |
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste. | |
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