| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 816752 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:43 - Nov 24 with 9045 views | Esox_Lucius |
I walked passed the YMCA today, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some duck feathers...
I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down!" |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:35 - Nov 27 with 8808 views | Sonofpugwash |
My friend came running in shouting "Someone's stolen your car!"
Me, "Did you see who?"
Friend, "No, but I got the registration number. " |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:48 - Nov 29 with 8633 views | Sonofpugwash |
I met a Dalek yesterday looking for directions to Cardiff.
"You're not from around here are you?" I asked.
"No,I'm from Devon." he replied.
"What part?"
"Exeter mate.Exeter mate." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:57 - Dec 6 with 8314 views | johann28 |
Bought one of those Christmas jumpers the other day. Very fluffy and comfy, but it was full of static so I had to return it to the shop.
No complaints, though, as they gave me another one free of charge. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:53 - Dec 6 with 8260 views | Sonofpugwash |
The area of Sarf London where I used to live was so rough even the Advent calendar windows were boarded up. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:22 - Dec 14 with 8048 views | Esox_Lucius |
I recently spent £6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ............ but they kind of taste like peppermint. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:33 - Dec 16 with 7893 views | Esox_Lucius |
My father has been arrested by Spanish police and now I have the song "Police Nabbed me dad" stuck in my head. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:44 - Dec 16 with 7860 views | Sonofpugwash |
Got very drunk last night and picked a fight with a mop.
Wiped the floor with him. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:04 - Dec 17 with 7757 views | Boston |
Young Jenny is sat in English class when the teacher asks her to give an example of a multi syllable word.
"Well" Jenny replies, "I'll go for masturbate".
"My goodness", says the teacher, "that's a hell of a mouthful for someone your age".
"Oh your getting confused" says Jenny, "you're thinking of blow job." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:09 - Dec 17 with 7752 views | Boston |
Cowboy rides into town and shoots an artist.
Sheriff asks him, "why did you do that?"
Cowboy says, "I thought he was going to draw." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:13 - Dec 17 with 7627 views | DavieQPR |
With the bad weather and not being able to take the dog out he has been going toilet indoors. I don't mind it's understandable but the wife goes mad because he won't put the seat down afterwards. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:28 - Dec 17 with 7556 views | Esox_Lucius |
I tried to log in to my acupuncturist's website but I forgot the PIN. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:40 - Dec 17 with 7548 views | Esox_Lucius |
I bought a Thesaurus online and it was terrible. It was also terrible.
I exchanged it for another one that was completely blank from cover to cover. I have no words to describe how angry I was. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:20 - Dec 17 with 7531 views | BathRanger |
A chef in Rome has created a 12" Margherita that contains only 100 calories. He's been awarded the No-Belly Pizza Prize |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:57 - Dec 18 with 7408 views | Sonofpugwash |
Keith Richards once got a turtle for his birthday. He asked: "How old will it get". They told him: "About 300 years". He said: "Now you see why I'm against pets, you get attached to one and then it dies." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:46 - Dec 29 with 7165 views | Sonofpugwash |
Just got a message from Cher wanting to cancel our dinner date on account of a virus.
"I got flu babe". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:09 - Jan 1 with 6859 views | Boston |
What do dogs say on New Year's Day?
Woof. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:12 - Jan 1 with 6849 views | Boston |
Hear about the bloke who nicked a 2023 calendar?
Got 12 months. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:24 - Jan 1 with 6822 views | Boston |
I'm so old I remember when evening kick offs were illuminated by football matches. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:27 - Jan 1 with 6814 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:12 - Jan 1 by Boston |
Hear about the bloke who nicked a 2023 calendar?
Got 12 months. |
Fkg awful new year. sacked by the calendar company
All i did was take one day [Post edited 1 Jan 2023 19:29]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:23 - Jan 1 with 6755 views | Sonofpugwash |
I bought my local pub landlord a signed Harry Kane picture for his pub.
He's put it over the bar.. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:21 - Jan 2 with 6497 views | Boston |
Breaking news....a large city in the north of England has been stolen.
Police are desperately looking for Leeds. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:21 - Jan 2 with 6497 views | Esox_Lucius |
As a doctor I was quite lucky that my office was only a few blocks from my home. Each day I would leave work at 5:00 pm and walk. On the way I would stop at a local pub and order a daiquiri with a walnut in it. Eventually the bartender realized I was coming in at the same time every day and ordering the same drink so he started having it ready for me when I arrived. One day he realized that he was out of walnuts so he put a hickory nut in instead. When I took a sip I looked up at him and said “This drink is different but very tasty. What is it?” He replied
“It’s a hickory daiquiri doc” | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:15 - Jan 6 with 6280 views | Boston |
Cambodian, Laotian and a Vietnamese gent go to a gentleman's club for a drink.
Barman apologizes saying he can't serve them without a Thai. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - Jan 6 with 6184 views | Boston |
"Hello, operator"? "We need an ambulance quickly; my friends just been bitten by a wolf."
"Where," responds the operator?
"Nah" comes the reply, "looked like a big regular one." | |
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