| Content with your place in the world 23:06 - Jul 9 with 6221 views | qprxtc |
When I was asked as a kid what I wanted to be, I always said “to be happy”. Little did o know what that meant or how hard and unobtainable it could be.
As I got older and wis(d)er, I still felt being “happy” was the ultimate and achievable goal. Simple, nothing much to ask for.
Turns out, it’s the worst thing to try and achieve. No one is ever “happy” for any given time. You can be “happy” for twenty minutes. Or twenty hours. Life will always pull you back. That maybe a better thing, to make the happiness, euphoric. Or .
Life goes on day after day, we have a responsibility to make it a better thing for those behind us. Those that swim in our wake and swallow our water and think we are the ones who make them drown.
Being “content”. That’s the only way forward.
With a lamp. |  | | |  |
| Content with your place in the world on 22:33 - Jul 10 with 1888 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
| Content with your place in the world on 21:11 - Jul 10 by Match82 |
Saw a study once that said only about 20% of our happiness is based on what we have/our environment. 30% based on genetic predisposition and the rest is what we decide to make of it all. I quite like that idea, that we are all essentially responsible for our own happiness based on whether we choose to look at the best in a situation or the worst.
So think positive thoughts everyone |
Mark Cavendish
Don't let anybody tell you you're not good enough |  |
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| Content with your place in the world on 00:46 - Jul 11 with 1793 views | johann28 |
Early 70s. Class in trouble for some misdemeanour or other. Headmaster comes in, starts asking us all what we want to be etc etc. Everyone comes up with suitable replies. I'm desperately thinking, and when it comes to me I say
'Poet sir. I want to be a poet'.
Head boss guy rolls his eyes. 'Johann' he says. He pronounces my name with some disdain as if tipping it into a bin. 'Can't ever take anything seriously can you? There's no money to be made in poetry.'
'Ah' says I. 'Money. Well if that's the single most important thing in life, I should be a fk g drug dealer you worthless piece of sht'.
No, I didn't say this of course. I just muttered 'yes sir' and felt ashamed.
Not sure what the moral of this story is. I ended up selling wine, which I didn't realise was a career option then. Never made a lot of money but feel privileged to get paid for something I'd do for free. |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 05:15 - Jul 11 with 1760 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| Content with your place in the world on 18:32 - Jul 10 by distortR |
sounds like you've lived a worthy and fulfilled life - well done!
Can I borrow your manual?! |
My only advice to anyone, is to ask yourself a simple question: can you look yourself in the mirror?
I’m not talking in a vain way, but can you really look yourself in the eye? Your eyes are the window to your soul and If you can, then in my experience, you’re likely to be content and happy with your lot.
Those times I can’t look myself in the mirror, are always when something isn’t right. That being the case, it’s up to me and no one else to address the issue.
That and also one other bit of advice: go for it! You’ll only ever regret the things you didn’t try and if it turns out to be wrong, then as long as you can look yourself in the mirror and know you gave it your best shot, then you’re better for trying. And if anyone mocks you for having a go, they are likely to be envious at your courage and ultimately, not your friend! |  |
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| Content with your place in the world on 07:56 - Jul 11 with 1737 views | dannyblue |
You’re a special clued up lot. Xx |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 09:24 - Jul 11 with 1712 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
About two years ago I took a £20k pay cut from a shit job that paid great to a great job that paid shit and I’ve never looked back.
Another one in the money can’t buy you happiness club. |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 09:44 - Jul 11 with 1689 views | hantssi |
| Content with your place in the world on 09:24 - Jul 11 by BazzaInTheLoft |
About two years ago I took a £20k pay cut from a shit job that paid great to a great job that paid shit and I’ve never looked back.
Another one in the money can’t buy you happiness club. |
Did it the other way once Baz, biggest regret of my life!
I still keep in touch with some of the guys I left behind and have become some of my best friends.
It took me about 18 months to get out of that hell hole but it taught me a real lesson, what not to accept in a job.
Now I work hours to suit and am allowed to WFH as and when I want/need, less money than I could earn elsewhere but it suits me at 60. |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 10:44 - Jul 11 with 1658 views | distortR |
| Content with your place in the world on 00:46 - Jul 11 by johann28 |
Early 70s. Class in trouble for some misdemeanour or other. Headmaster comes in, starts asking us all what we want to be etc etc. Everyone comes up with suitable replies. I'm desperately thinking, and when it comes to me I say
'Poet sir. I want to be a poet'.
Head boss guy rolls his eyes. 'Johann' he says. He pronounces my name with some disdain as if tipping it into a bin. 'Can't ever take anything seriously can you? There's no money to be made in poetry.'
'Ah' says I. 'Money. Well if that's the single most important thing in life, I should be a fk g drug dealer you worthless piece of sht'.
No, I didn't say this of course. I just muttered 'yes sir' and felt ashamed.
Not sure what the moral of this story is. I ended up selling wine, which I didn't realise was a career option then. Never made a lot of money but feel privileged to get paid for something I'd do for free. |
hang on, hang on...................are you telling me that you have access to vast reserves of wine and you'll happily give it away for free?
Friends, I can sense I'm going to be in a happier place soon!! | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 11:34 - Jul 11 with 1640 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Content with your place in the world on 17:35 - Jul 10 by PlanetHonneywood |
Eight months before my dad was due to retire, he passed. He’d worked hard all his life and he was looking forward to a well deserved break. I’d already started my globetrotting ways by then, but I vowed at his graveside that I would not allow work to dictate my life or deprive me of retirement.
Along the way I met Mrs PH who, like me, has spent an inordinate amount of time traveling, living and working around the world. I chose this life and enjoyed it immensely, but aside of a couple of years in Manchester 99-01, I’ve never felt ‘at home’ since I left Greenford as an 18-year old pup.
A few years back we took a few off months in France, stretched it for a year and returned 18 months later and bought a place. Even then we did a few years in Myanmar and Qatar wading into the challenges posed in working on migrant worker issues. I’ve spent over 25 years doing human rights work all over the plane, and I’ve seen the very best and worst of humanity and if I’m honest, I’m a bit jaded and depressed by the state of the globe.
So with my contract ending, Mrs PH and I had a chat, crunched some numbers and decided to go for it.
Irony being what it is: what may well be my last day of full time employment was the anniversary of when my father was buried. We flew out of Doha the next day and now I feel relaxed and at home. I also feel a promise made to myself has been kept and for the first time in a very long time, I can say I feel content a week into this new life…well just as soon as we get the hot water sorted!! |
I look forward to you taking your place "on the wall" in SAR more frequently John. Does C enjoy "soccer"? too  |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Content with your place in the world on 13:41 - Jul 11 with 1580 views | Match82 |
| Content with your place in the world on 09:24 - Jul 11 by BazzaInTheLoft |
About two years ago I took a £20k pay cut from a shit job that paid great to a great job that paid shit and I’ve never looked back.
Another one in the money can’t buy you happiness club. |
Generally agree but think specifically going from "enough money" to "more money" may not make a difference but there are some people that aren't that lucky. Although I'm sure we have people on here who would suggest that they should just invest in crypto. |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 14:41 - Jul 11 with 1552 views | numptydumpty |
I far from loaded - never had children as had health issues for long period of time.
Mum passed relatively young last year and dad went in care home this year - but got a nice lady onside , many friends and two jobs where am helping others help each other so am in a happier place in general.
There will always be the odd shit thing going on arounds but at least like all of us I follow the mighty R's so how could I not be content in any given way OBVIOUSLY !!!!!! |  |
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| Content with your place in the world on 14:45 - Jul 11 with 1550 views | numptydumpty |
Qprxtc and others
Put this post up twenty minutes after first game of the season home to Millwall and if we lose 5 nil at home on first day of season which we have done couple times in last 20 years and ask the question to everyone are you content with your lot in life at that moment.
Wonder what the response would be !!!!!!
Ermmmm !!! | |
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| Content with your place in the world on 17:21 - Jul 11 with 1492 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Content with your place in the world on 13:41 - Jul 11 by Match82 |
Generally agree but think specifically going from "enough money" to "more money" may not make a difference but there are some people that aren't that lucky. Although I'm sure we have people on here who would suggest that they should just invest in crypto. |
Yeah, part of my contentment is knowing how lucky I am and being grateful for being able to afford a change.
No comment on the cryptocurrency. It’s like saying Bloody Mary 13 times. | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 20:50 - Jul 13 with 1289 views | Konk |
My only real ambition has been to lead a happy, stress-free life, and without tempting fate, that's where I find myself at the moment. Lucky enough to have supportive, funny and kind family and friends that I love to bits. My health appears to be okay, my wife earns decent money doing a job she loves, and whilst a lot of my mates earn loads more, have bigger houses, flasher cars etc, a lot of them are stressed out by work.
My Dad worked in the same role for 36 years - never took a promotion because whilst he worked hard and was appreciated by his clients, he wanted to be home in time to see us kids, and wanted his weekends free for family and friends. He wanted to watch us play sport, and to take us to the football. Not everyone has the luxury to take that approach, but that informed my attitude to work. I turned down opportunities to take on roles which I knew would stress me out. As far as I can see, there's no point having a big house, flashy motors and £££ in the bank if you're fu cking miserable. And if you value those things, there will always be someone with a bigger house and a flashier motor.
My father-in-law worked 12-16 hour days, 6 days a week for 20 years building-up and then running a business, and whilst he barely had any time with his kids when they were growing-up, he's been able to help them out with deposits for houses, cars etc. My parents were never in a position to do that, but spent loads of time pi ssing about with us. I'm very grateful for the financial support(!), but my wife and her Dad both regret not having had more of a relationship when she was a youngster.
Don't worry about what your peers have achieved or accumulated; If you have people in your life that you love and who love you, and they're healthy and happy, and you're not worrying about making ends meet, then I reckon you've won the jackpot. [Post edited 13 Jul 2021 20:53]
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| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Content with your place in the world on 21:16 - Jul 13 with 1253 views | Mick_S |
| Content with your place in the world on 20:50 - Jul 13 by Konk |
My only real ambition has been to lead a happy, stress-free life, and without tempting fate, that's where I find myself at the moment. Lucky enough to have supportive, funny and kind family and friends that I love to bits. My health appears to be okay, my wife earns decent money doing a job she loves, and whilst a lot of my mates earn loads more, have bigger houses, flasher cars etc, a lot of them are stressed out by work.
My Dad worked in the same role for 36 years - never took a promotion because whilst he worked hard and was appreciated by his clients, he wanted to be home in time to see us kids, and wanted his weekends free for family and friends. He wanted to watch us play sport, and to take us to the football. Not everyone has the luxury to take that approach, but that informed my attitude to work. I turned down opportunities to take on roles which I knew would stress me out. As far as I can see, there's no point having a big house, flashy motors and £££ in the bank if you're fu cking miserable. And if you value those things, there will always be someone with a bigger house and a flashier motor.
My father-in-law worked 12-16 hour days, 6 days a week for 20 years building-up and then running a business, and whilst he barely had any time with his kids when they were growing-up, he's been able to help them out with deposits for houses, cars etc. My parents were never in a position to do that, but spent loads of time pi ssing about with us. I'm very grateful for the financial support(!), but my wife and her Dad both regret not having had more of a relationship when she was a youngster.
Don't worry about what your peers have achieved or accumulated; If you have people in your life that you love and who love you, and they're healthy and happy, and you're not worrying about making ends meet, then I reckon you've won the jackpot. [Post edited 13 Jul 2021 20:53]
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Your Dad is a smart man, Konk. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Content with your place in the world on 23:36 - Jul 13 with 1200 views | bongo_king |
Long time lurker, strange thread for a first post, but it’s a good one.
Recurring themes mentioned here seem to be family — partner in particular — and “ambition”, or a lack thereof (said tongue in cheek — I mean like not feeling you have to chase the next car, phone, whatever — ultimately a lack of peer pressure). Strange but I think this is key, along with escaping expectations, which his related.
Me — I grew up in the very south of London in the 80s, mixed race with a single parent. Changed scenery to find happiness — and did, along with a great partner. As a result been outside the UK for quite a while. Work too much but happiness rating 8/10. I take the view that you never forget where you come from, but where you come from not where you have to end up.
Favourite cheese comte btw if I can’t get a good mature cheddar. | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 23:50 - Jul 13 with 1194 views | ozexile |
Really great thread and I'd be interested if I could have asked myself this question in my 20's and 30's what my response would be. I'm very content now and know I couldn't have said the same years ago.
I started in my teens in a job I hated and looked around at my peers and knew if I hung around I'd end up like them so I left immediately. Being adopted I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, home always seemed temporary.
I was fortunate to travel to Oz and find a place I could find peace in my late 20's. I feel very lucky that although I haven't got a blood family as such I've always been surrounded by amazing friends who've cared and looked out for me. My favourite saying is "It's better to be born lucky than rich" and I believe that. Funnily enough the one thing I'd do different is get married earlier. Marriage has been good for me. It gave me finally a true commitment and made me a better more responsible person. | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 00:11 - Jul 14 with 1184 views | PBLOCK |
I reckon I’m doing alright
Have a Mrs I’ve been with for 11 years who I still find unbelievable, 2 great kids, work a job that while can be stressful pays decently
The big thing for me is that my Dad who introduced me to Rangers walked out on us finally when I was about 11/12. I haven’t seen him since I was about 13 so over 25 years.
He had a pretty bad relationship with his dad by all accounts and his dad before him.
Me and my son and daughter have great relationships so I’m changing the tone of family history which can only be a good thing.
We don’t have the biggest house or fanciest car but we are doing alright and the reason I gave my season ticket up a few years ago has given me opportunities to see and help them do their sports
and have family activities.
Still getting games and with my little boy loving the Euros really looking forward to taking him to Rangers for the first time | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 06:11 - Jul 14 with 1117 views | Konk |
On work: I left school at 16 and had no idea what I wanted to do other than “work in an office”. I’ve been largely doing that since, and have never taken any great satisfaction from the work itself, but 80% of the time I’ve had a good laugh at work, and in the last 20-odd years, got paid decent money.
Had I known what I wanted to do, and ended-up in a career that I found interesting/rewarding, then I might well have had a different attitude to my work/life balance. That said, my wife loves her job, and is in senior management, but isn’t interested in going any higher because of the stress/travel. Her work have accepted that and we’re both very happy with her decision. | |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Content with your place in the world on 07:54 - Jul 14 with 1089 views | 81A |
I read a survey of pensioners a few years ago where they were asked to reflect on their lives and what would they do differently. Top theme was "spend more time with the family", then "take more risks" and "give more back",
The family-centric life has come up a lot on this thread, not sure about the risks, but as a pensioner myself now, I can absolutely endorse the "give more back". I'm in the hugely fortunate position of being ok health and wealth-wise so have the opportunity to do lots of volunteering, and it's the best. There's a massive range of things you can do to support the elderly or the young and everyone in your community in between, and it's the most rewarding feeling you can have.
Get out there ladies and gents, make a difference. | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 09:04 - Jul 14 with 1041 views | Konk |
| Content with your place in the world on 07:54 - Jul 14 by 81A |
I read a survey of pensioners a few years ago where they were asked to reflect on their lives and what would they do differently. Top theme was "spend more time with the family", then "take more risks" and "give more back",
The family-centric life has come up a lot on this thread, not sure about the risks, but as a pensioner myself now, I can absolutely endorse the "give more back". I'm in the hugely fortunate position of being ok health and wealth-wise so have the opportunity to do lots of volunteering, and it's the best. There's a massive range of things you can do to support the elderly or the young and everyone in your community in between, and it's the most rewarding feeling you can have.
Get out there ladies and gents, make a difference. |
Great point on volunteering. My Mum and Dad have always been big volunteers and swear by it. It keeps them busy, they get a buzz out of helping others, and they’ve met some amazing people along the way. Just starting to dip my toe in the water with school PTA stuff, and it’s nice to be part of a team doing something for the community. More power to your elbow, mate; I salute you. | |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| Content with your place in the world on 09:30 - Jul 14 with 1023 views | Myke |
Friends, family, enough food, a safe place to sleep - that's it really. | | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 13:13 - Jul 14 with 970 views | karl |
Great thread.
Due to dads job as a lighthouse keeper it meant we moved away from our home island, when I was born, and I always had a yearning that I wasn't ever 'home'.
Had a good relaxed childhood and my teen years, in reflection were great really, working in what we're dead end jobs but with the best fun people ever.
Cheap rent, drink and food meant there was no real stress other than keeping my motorbike on the road and gearing up for a laugh at the weekend.
Isle of Man had a huge boom in property prices and that kind of ended those fun times to an extent as you needed a decent job to afford a reasonable flat/house.
Fish industry in IoM collapsed so I decided at 24 to go 'home', great decision as I definitely felt that was where I was when I got here, Orkney a much poorer place than IoM so I went back to cheap rent and fun work for another few years, it was like being a teenager again in many ways, a great relaxed lifestyle based on having a laugh.
At 30 I decided to set up my own business and tbh in hindsight I lost a lot of the fun in my life taking things too seriously albeit necessarily to keep things going.
Basically 14 years later I gave it up (it gave up on me probably more accurate!) and I went back to being an employee again, thank god I did as with 2 young kids I did get to spend time with them and help them with their activities, sporting or otherwise.
I do have a comfort of earning a reasonable wage for Orkney and it is needed to get off the island, which is essential for all of us.
Glad I'm not chasing the £ now as my best days have definitely been when that was furthest from my mind.
I'm not entirely sure football has ever contributed to a mellow existence! |  | | |
| Content with your place in the world on 13:21 - Jul 14 with 967 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
| Content with your place in the world on 13:13 - Jul 14 by karl |
Great thread.
Due to dads job as a lighthouse keeper it meant we moved away from our home island, when I was born, and I always had a yearning that I wasn't ever 'home'.
Had a good relaxed childhood and my teen years, in reflection were great really, working in what we're dead end jobs but with the best fun people ever.
Cheap rent, drink and food meant there was no real stress other than keeping my motorbike on the road and gearing up for a laugh at the weekend.
Isle of Man had a huge boom in property prices and that kind of ended those fun times to an extent as you needed a decent job to afford a reasonable flat/house.
Fish industry in IoM collapsed so I decided at 24 to go 'home', great decision as I definitely felt that was where I was when I got here, Orkney a much poorer place than IoM so I went back to cheap rent and fun work for another few years, it was like being a teenager again in many ways, a great relaxed lifestyle based on having a laugh.
At 30 I decided to set up my own business and tbh in hindsight I lost a lot of the fun in my life taking things too seriously albeit necessarily to keep things going.
Basically 14 years later I gave it up (it gave up on me probably more accurate!) and I went back to being an employee again, thank god I did as with 2 young kids I did get to spend time with them and help them with their activities, sporting or otherwise.
I do have a comfort of earning a reasonable wage for Orkney and it is needed to get off the island, which is essential for all of us.
Glad I'm not chasing the £ now as my best days have definitely been when that was furthest from my mind.
I'm not entirely sure football has ever contributed to a mellow existence! |
I’m sure you’ve mentioned it before Karl but how did you become a QPR fan? | |
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| Content with your place in the world on 13:42 - Jul 14 with 947 views | karl |
| Content with your place in the world on 13:21 - Jul 14 by CliveWilsonSaid |
I’m sure you’ve mentioned it before Karl but how did you become a QPR fan? |
DistortR came to live in IoM when we were about 14.
Although a huge football nut I would say I followed Leeds Utd because of all their Scottish players of the 70s, for me it was International football, possibly gave me my identity living away from Scotland?
By the 82 cup final we were 16 and I definitely wanted QPR to win but would never say I supported them and it really took till early 20s when I went to Villa away with Gus and his mates that I thought that was my team.
Till then I played Saturday football so had never really been to more than a handful of games and was very much a none involved supporter at them.
After moving to Orkney I played summer midweek football so had time available and ended up watching QPR at various North of England grounds and contact with Gus continued filling in the gaps of being a fan.
Johnny come lately!
Edit.
Although I consider Hibs my team I generally don't have any friends who are Hibs fans, oddly I've met more people through supporting QPR who have become true close friends and also many genuinely good people who I've met up with because of this site.
So QPR has added to contentment in my life, although my wife still shakes her head when I say I'm off to meet some bloke off the internet😠[Post edited 14 Jul 2021 13:48]
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| Content with your place in the world on 13:59 - Jul 14 with 923 views | dannyblue |
| Content with your place in the world on 00:11 - Jul 14 by PBLOCK |
I reckon I’m doing alright
Have a Mrs I’ve been with for 11 years who I still find unbelievable, 2 great kids, work a job that while can be stressful pays decently
The big thing for me is that my Dad who introduced me to Rangers walked out on us finally when I was about 11/12. I haven’t seen him since I was about 13 so over 25 years.
He had a pretty bad relationship with his dad by all accounts and his dad before him.
Me and my son and daughter have great relationships so I’m changing the tone of family history which can only be a good thing.
We don’t have the biggest house or fanciest car but we are doing alright and the reason I gave my season ticket up a few years ago has given me opportunities to see and help them do their sports
and have family activities.
Still getting games and with my little boy loving the Euros really looking forward to taking him to Rangers for the first time |
The people that break the chain. They're some of the people I admire most of all this world. I salute you. | | | |
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