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Why is it meant to make life f ucking easier when it purely makes life f ucking unremittingly @rsreclenchingly f ucking crap.
To get any bit of any technof*ckingnology to work is a complete bollockache. You know it will be as even to get the git out of its box needs a degree in origami or a f ucking machete.
After managing to rip it open with you f ucking teeth, you read the bastard f ucking instructions. Christ on a bastard bicycle. Configure this, Colgate that, select a selection that doesn’t bastard exist. Log onto a website that turns out to be in bleeding Chinese. Reset the whole f ucking thing again. Select a password, which one the R’s theee of the f uckers.
Spend three git bastard bum bag hours trying to get tgat to work and the internet goes down. Have to reset tge arsenag password. Which one you complete nazi, which f ucking one?
Eventually get back on and then realise you’ve used the wrong password all bollocking day. Shit on my head. But no, using the correct pigging password still doesn’t f ucking compute to anything and sod all f ucking works. Not after spending the whole brain farting day trying to work the c ock shrivelling bugger to work. Shove it up yer Granny’s crack.
Bring back a pencil and f ucking paper. Don’t need a poxy helpline for that bastard, just a sharpener and your brain.
Got a new Mac coming soon. Dreading all the palaver with transferring my files, sorting out subscriptions and finding out half the fücking passwords no longer work. Not looking forward to it at all.
Wifi is the devil's work and I find myself turning the router on/off at least twice a week and don't get me started on Sonos + Spotify, works perfectly until you get a house full of people and then the fecking thing refuses to connect or play anything.
“First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
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