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In rural Dorset, the preparations have been frantic for today's celebrations. The village druid has saluted the dawn and lit the Wicker Man and everyone is excitedly gathering around the May Pole. This year's May Pole is Bartosz Jutkewicz from Karakow. He will be greased up and released in Shaftesbury High Street whilst children try to catch him.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
We're also watching Morris dancing. He's a good sport, Morris. So this year he's dancing to 18 hours of Dutch hardcore gabba techno outside the Town Hall whilst being pelted with the traditional stale hot-cross buns.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
Dorset sounds a very different world. Up here in the metropolises of the north we do International Workers Day differently. I'm popping out on my lunch to smash a Starbucks window.
Dorset sounds a very different world. Up here in the metropolises of the north we do International Workers Day differently. I'm popping out on my lunch to smash a Starbucks window.
Dorset: What is Starbuck's?
Cornwall: What is window?
A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
We're also watching Morris dancing. He's a good sport, Morris. So this year he's dancing to 18 hours of Dutch hardcore gabba techno outside the Town Hall whilst being pelted with the traditional stale hot-cross buns.
Last year he danced to the seminal 'ooh crikey its......Lawnmower Death ' album.
Later today, the Young Farmers Society will give a display of trap shooting. They really shouldn't use the public lavatories for this event but it's tradition. Hopefully this year, there won't be anyone trying to park their breakfast in trap one.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
I did maypole dancing at my primary school. We'd skip left and right making pretty patterns with the coloured ribbons...Christ, that's the reason I got beaten up so much.
Later today, the Young Farmers Society will give a display of trap shooting. They really shouldn't use the public lavatories for this event but it's tradition. Hopefully this year, there won't be anyone trying to park their breakfast in trap one.
no need to worry about the village idiot competition this year - nailed on
Our village May day celebrations were tragically cut short after the marquee that we were all gathered in to hear Mrs Hinge play Mozart's bassoon concerto in b-flat major on her trombone suddenly broke free from it's tethered guy wires in a huge gust of wind and blew away in the direction of Potters Bar taking the village donkey with it.
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
Our village May day celebrations were tragically cut short after the marquee that we were all gathered in to hear Mrs Hinge play Mozart's bassoon concerto in b-flat major on her trombone suddenly broke free from it's tethered guy wires in a huge gust of wind and blew away in the direction of Potters Bar taking the village donkey with it.
They should do a Public Information Film about that. That's as dangerous as going to fetch your frisbee from an electricity substation in the 70s.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
When I was at school in Oxford we had the May Day celebrations. As it was a boarding school we were allowed to leave at 5am but had to get back at 8.30am. Of course, we either drank through the night or got going around 3am for morning beverages. Needless to say, morning school was a blur!
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