Forum | Corny Joke Warning by Boston

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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 862185 views

Boston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 12:15 - Feb 16 with 10000 views

welwynranger

I decided to take a short cut through the forest on my way to the golf course.
I tripped over on a large branch and all the clubs fell out of the bag.
I lost half of my clubs because I couldn't see the woods for the trees.

Corny Joke Warning on 15:12 - Feb 16 with 9940 views

Sonofpugwash

I waited two weeks for a GP appointment only to be told acupuncture is no good for pins and needles.

Poll:

Dykes - love him or hate him?

Corny Joke Warning on 15:12 - Feb 16 with 9936 views

Boston

Will Storm Dudley be bringing Moore wind and rain?

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 15:44 - Feb 20 with 9688 views

Boston

When in Paris don't jump off any bridges.

They'll lock you up for being in Seine.

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 10:38 - Feb 27 with 9492 views

Myke

So I asked my students to give me a sentence with 'centimetre' in it, as the school like to combine numeracy with literacy. One kid puts up his hand and says 'My aunt flew into Knock Airport yesterday and my dad was sent to meet her'

Corny Joke Warning on 14:56 - Feb 27 with 9384 views

Boston

Man returns from a shopping trip and proceeds to put away his purchases. His wife notices a pack of condoms, labelled the Olympic brand. "Why are they called, Olympic", she asks? "Because they're made in three colours", he replies, "gold, silver and bronze". "Oh, and what colour are you intending to wear tonight", she enquires? "Gold of course" says man. "Really" she said, "why not wear the silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change".

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 15:46 - Feb 27 with 9353 views

Boston

I failed my biology O Level.

Apparently Scousers are not the most common thing found in cells.

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 21:51 - Mar 1 with 9156 views

acricketer

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me!

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

Corny Joke Warning on 01:00 - Mar 3 with 8959 views

Boston

I was driving through Boston this morning when I rear ended someone. Fair shunt it was as I'm driving a loaded construction truck and the other vehicle was a low budget economy car. Anyway, I hop out to apologize and meet the other driver, who is approximately 4' 6" tall and examining his dented bumper. "I'm not happy" he says, "oh yeah", I replied, "which one are you then"?

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 10:40 - Mar 6 with 8662 views

Esox_Lucius

I got job at a wholesale meat factory moving huge joints of ham.
I’m a pork lift truck driver.

The grass is always greener.

Corny Joke Warning on 20:36 - Mar 6 with 8582 views

Boston

A funny incident....I was in a local liquor store (Offy), yesterday and an attractive young lady of south east Asian heritage was serving me. I knew she was attractive because the face mask she was wearing hung down under her jawline. Seeking to get into conversation I cracked the, 'nice chin hammock you've got there', which produced laughing from her Caucasian colleague but a look of confusion from the lass in question. She sort of stared, so I repeated my apparently poor witticism, again the person working beside her laughed, then her expression changed as she copped the joke. She ha ha'd, then informed me her last name was Chin, which had the whole queue behind me chuckling.

[Post edited 6 Mar 2022 20:37]

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 21:11 - Mar 6 with 8546 views

johann28

Long queue in Moscow for basics. People starting to get tetchy.

Fk g Putin, says one, it's all his fault. Warmongering tw*t. I've had enough, i m going to save lots of lives and fkg kill him. He storms off to great applause.

An hour or so later, he's back. Did you kill Putin?? They ask, sceptically.

No, he says, downcast. That queue's even longer than this one!

Corny Joke Warning on 22:41 - Mar 6 with 8479 views

Boston

Why, when being castigated for a lack of bottle, do we commonly tell people to grow a pair?

I mean, testicles ain't exactly tough, one whack and we're out of action for half an hour!

Let's face it, if you want to be able to take a damn good pounding, you should be growing a vagina.

Poll:

Thank God The Seaons Over.

Corny Joke Warning on 18:18 - Mar 9 with 8263 views

johann28

Sad news. The guy who invented Velcro died.

RIP.

Corny Joke Warning on 23:18 - Mar 9 with 8146 views

Myke

Corny Joke Warning on 18:18 - Mar 9 by johann28
Sad news. The guy who invented Velcro died. RIP.

Bought a beaver -gonna call him Clint Eatswood

Corny Joke Warning on 13:15 - Mar 10 with 7997 views

Esox_Lucius

Priti Patel has been named as Goalkeeper for all England's future matches. An FA spokesman said she will never let anything in and no-one wants to score with her.

The grass is always greener.

Corny Joke Warning on 19:33 - Mar 10 with 7894 views

acricketer

Corny Joke Warning on 13:22 - Mar 11 with 7725 views

Myke

Went into my local signwriters shop and ordered a six foot high 'A', a six foot high 'S' and a six foot high 'K' and told him I needed them by Tuesday. He said he would see what he could do, but it was a big ask.