| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 1329105 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:51 - Apr 28 with 12399 views | Esox_Lucius |
I have just started a yacht building business in my garage. Sails are through the roof. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:59 - Apr 28 with 12373 views | Esox_Lucius |
A lot of people have accused me of plagiarism; their words, not mine. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:15 - Apr 28 with 12307 views | horshamHoop |
Man walks into a bar
Lucky Bastard! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:12 - Apr 29 with 12226 views | Esox_Lucius |
I have been getting so bored at home I have begun experimenting with cross breeding animals that you wouldn't normally pair off. Yesterday I crossed a homing pigeon with an Alligator, a decision which I expect will come back to bite me on the arse. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:11 - May 6 with 12087 views | johann28 |
Day 46 of isolation. Decorating kitchen. Spilt a gallon of paint over my head. Started to cry, overcome with emulsion. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:46 - May 9 with 11987 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
Fella won the lottery and he's driving down the motorway in his new Rolls Royce but it won't do above 30mph.
So he pulls up on the hard shoulder calls the AA.
Says "excuse me i've bought a new Rolls Royce but it won't do more than 30mph".
The AA man says "what gear are you in?"
The fella says "my donkey jacket and my wellies". |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - May 9 with 11954 views | Boston |
I couldn’t figure out why the golf ball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:46 - May 10 with 11889 views | Boston |
Can a Kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Still thinking! Buildings can’t jump you ejits. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:49 - May 10 with 11888 views | Boston |
Why could the Old Bill never nick Spider Man?
He spun a web of lies | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - May 10 with 11791 views | Esox_Lucius |
With so many sports events being cancelled they're filling air time by televising the World Origami Championship.
It's on paperview... | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:26 - May 10 with 11787 views | HantsR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - May 10 by Esox_Lucius |
With so many sports events being cancelled they're filling air time by televising the World Origami Championship.
It's on paperview... |
No they're not, the company folded. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:46 - May 10 with 11752 views | Boston |
Customer drops her dress into the dry cleaners
Assistant thanks her and cheerily says "come again"
Lady says no, toothpaste this time. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - May 10 with 11746 views | Boston |
Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
Because two Wongs don't make a white. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:04 - May 10 with 11739 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - May 9 by Boston |
I couldn’t figure out why the golf ball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me. |
That would be the same guy who couldn't understand why the sun fell in the west and rose in the east everyday. He got up early ... and then it dawned on him | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:04 - May 10 with 11738 views | Boston |
What's the difference between Queens Park Rangers and a tea bag
Tea bag stays in the cup longer. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:09 - May 10 with 11731 views | Boston |
When I first came to the United States people asked me if Britain had a 4th of July?
"Yes", I said, and a 5th, a 6th... [Post edited 10 May 2020 19:13]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:24 - May 10 with 11681 views | Boston |
I was in Iraq y'know when all that sh1t hit the fan.
People ask me how I got out
Iran. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:42 - May 15 with 11476 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was arrested for inhaling a tank of Helium, the police held me for a while then let me go. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:38 - May 15 with 11431 views | Boston |
Running my own business I’m terrified of negative numbers
I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:05 - May 17 with 11309 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:38 - May 15 by Boston |
Running my own business I’m terrified of negative numbers
I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. |
I sat down to binge watch Orange Is The New Black yesterday and it turns out it has nothing to do with Trump replacing Obama. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:30 - May 18 with 11208 views | bosh67 |
My girlfriend opened a letter over the weekend and burst into tears.
"First I was told I have dyslexia and now they say I've got tiny tits."
I took the letter from her and had a look.
"Tinnitus, babe," I said. "You've got tinnitus." |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:53 - May 21 with 11068 views | Boston |
I was useless at school
Can't even count how many times I failed maths | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:58 - May 21 with 12865 views | Boston |
This may surprise you but ten out of two people are dyslexic. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:02 - May 21 with 12860 views | Boston |
When I was a kid I met the Genie in a Bottle
He asked me if I wanted a long memory or a long penis
I forget my response. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:16 - May 21 with 12783 views | johncharles |
Not a proper joke but ........ I was making a posh salad yesterday and I called out to my wife
Where’s the anchovy fillets ?
The what ?
Anchovy fillets
Whose Anthony Phillips ? |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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