| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium 10:54 - Jun 21 with 7341 views | Hoopstar |
Very much missing the collective experience of watching QPR at our beloved home - though not missing the three old men who I often sit in front of who I'm yet to see actively enjoy a QPR game.
Missing the crowds got me thinking about some of the one-liners you hear shouted out by our lovely fans, often well along the inebriated road.
What's the funniest call you remmber/sticks out the most for you?
Mine harks back to the relegation season 2001 (I was about 16 at the time) and a home game against Tranmere when their lump of a centreback hoofed the ball out of the ground and halfway to Chelsea. I just remember the bloke in front of me screaming out "Oi, don't do that - we can't afford another one" with the most impassioned look on his face - everyone around fell around laughing even though we were a game away from the drop. Not even that funny really but gallows humour shared at the death and one of the moments thats always stuck out for me.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_1/1278203.stm gosh that was a crap team wasn't it... [Post edited 21 Jun 2020 10:56]
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 11:05 - Jun 21 with 5736 views | loftboy |
Arsenal at home 1990, we get a penalty, bloke behind (Arsenal fan) shouts if that’s a penalty then I’m a wà nker, my mate quick as a flash turns round and says “definitely a penalty then mate” |  |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 11:26 - Jun 21 with 5682 views | cyprusmel |
The funniest thing I heard at Loftus Road was from away supporters.
We were playing Plymouth and one of their players went down under a rather untidy challenge from a QPR player which prompted a chorus from the away end of "You dirty Northern bastards" You dirty Northern bastards ".
I suppose almost everybody is Northern to them, first time I heard it applied to us.
It did get them a good round of applause from the QPR fans. |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 11:55 - Jun 21 with 5642 views | slmrstid |
The bloke who sits in front of me always comes out with some corkers.
One of my favourites was 8-9 years ago now when talking about potential transfers he declared "Rob Hulse? I'd swap him for a couple of luncheon vouchers!"
Another one, from approx 4 years ago ish, when Alan Hutton was playing for Villa, an unidentified voice from a few rows back screamed at him "Hutton! You spent all that time doing your hair...then you forgot to bring it!!"
Last one...home to Forest this year...bloke behind me shouts "How bigs your wallet Robinson?!" at our Jack when he was taking a throw. Straight away Jack replied "Massive!" There was a lot of laughs at that one, that told him 🤣 |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 12:01 - Jun 21 with 5632 views | izlingtonhoop |
Standing in what is now Q block in the mid 80s somebody guffawed at some hapless No. 10:
New Rodney Marsh? New Rodney Trotter more like!
And Joe Hart's dry scalp chant. Hope that was original to us, judging by his reaction, I'd say it was... |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 12:09 - Jun 21 with 5611 views | izlingtonhoop |
In hindsight, the two guys sitting behind me when Liverpool went 0-2 up:
Ah, come on let's forget this.
And left | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 12:42 - Jun 21 with 5558 views | PunteR |
When we were playing Chelsea at home after the JT and Ferdinand incident, Ashley Cole was getting pelters for defending JT.. "your John Terry's bitch ,your john Terry's bitch, Ashley Cole your John Terry's bitch.." My then 10 year old son turned to me and asked why were fans singing Ashley Cole your john Terry's FISH!. I said coz he's got a memory of a goldfish. My lad then started singing ..."your John Terry's fish"
Made me laugh anyway. [Post edited 21 Jun 2020 12:43]
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| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:20 - Jun 21 with 5493 views | MrSheen |
Andy D'Urso was reffing a game in the 90s. "Oi Ref, I've got socks older than you."
We were playing Mansfield, and a very short, drunk and angry away fan had got in the Ellerslie and was abusing everyone around him. As no-one wanted to start a fight with a man who couldn't have been any taller than 3'6", it was left to the Stewards to drag him out, cursing and gesticulating, which only got worse when someone started singing, "Oompa Loompa, Doobie Doo Doo". |  | | |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 14:37 - Jun 21 with 5375 views | The_Beast1976 |
Blackburn away 1993. Whole away end singing "We hate Hackett, we hate Hackett, we hate Hackett, he's a kunt, we hate Hackett, we hate hackett, we hate hackett, he's a kunt" for most of the game after Keith Hackett gave yet another penalty against us | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 14:43 - Jun 21 with 5353 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 12:01 - Jun 21 by izlingtonhoop |
Standing in what is now Q block in the mid 80s somebody guffawed at some hapless No. 10:
New Rodney Marsh? New Rodney Trotter more like!
And Joe Hart's dry scalp chant. Hope that was original to us, judging by his reaction, I'd say it was... |
I think you might find that the gobby source of the Trotter comment, was yours truly. Night game and just as I started to spew forth, the ground went silent and it boomed a lot further than I’d planned.
One that had me in guffaws: Lino get your flag down, there ain’t a train coming you w....r! |  |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 15:00 - Jun 21 with 5322 views | stowmarketrange |
A couple of years ago we were playing Burnley? at home and there were time wasting as they were winning,especially the keeper who was called Pope.
The cry of w@nker went up every time he came over to slowly collect the ball for a goal kick.
I shouted out “Oh,you can’t call the pope a w@nker”much to the amusement of those sitting around me in ML
A fair few years ago Leroy Rosenior was chasing after another 80 yard ball lumped up from the back of beyond.As it looked to be heading out of play at the loft end my mate shouted out “Chase it Leroy.”Leroy seemed to decide to chase it after all,but without any joy,and as the ball trickled out of play,he shouted out again “Not now you plonker.”
I think even Leroy laughed at that one.
I’m sure there are loads more stories that I can’t remember now. |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 16:42 - Jun 21 with 5239 views | QPRSteve |
Tommy Langley as usual misses the target at the Loft End. My mate shouts out: "Unlucky Tommy" and gets a thumbs up from the player. Five of us then shout out: "You useless kunt!" | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 17:39 - Jun 21 with 5154 views | Hastings_Hoops |
In the mid 90’s at a pre-season friendly in Gillingham. Some bloke behind me absolutely had it in for Barker. Every time he touched the ball. Eventually Barker gave the ball away and he let rip “are you sorry Mavis? Are you sorry?”
...he had to wait for the 80th minute, but he enjoyed it. |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 17:44 - Jun 21 with 5150 views | Hastings_Hoops |
Non-QPR...
At Hampton a couple of decades ago and my mate, who had a bigger mouth than brain was keen to see a change in the team, so he sidled up to the dugout and bellowed “strip ‘em off and bring ‘em on” - awkward.
Another one at Ashford (Kent), which my brother witnessed was a particularly foul supported behind the Ashford goalie being a general muppet, with a ‘pubic’ style beard... the goalie turns to him after a few bouts and says “you may look like one, but there’s not need to act like one” | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 17:53 - Jun 21 with 5137 views | TwoHalves |
Must've been eight or nine years ago now, we were playing Arsenal and Robin van Persie slid off the end of the pitch at the Loft End, finishing up in a tangle of arms and legs at the bottom of the photographers' pit beside the goal. When he finally resurfaced after about thirty seconds the bloke behind me shouts out, "van Persie's playing in the hole then!" | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 18:00 - Jun 21 with 5124 views | Getmesheron |
Hi all. Avid reader but 1st post.
Few seasons ago now during the game in which Newcastle won promotion at Loftus Road a certain Joey Barton was on the bench for them and within earshot of the paddock regulars.
On Joey getting up and fiddling with his socks shin pads etc an older fella who sits in front of me kindly enquired if he was having difficulty with his ankle tag, Joey having had to wear one at her majesties request previously.
Joey didnt find this funny but remember Kevin Nolan who was also sub that day almost wetting himself with laughter along with most of the Paddock. Would love to think he shared it in the dressing room as well. | | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 18:04 - Jun 21 with 5114 views | colinallcars |
I always like the one when an injured player is semi-conscious and someone shouts out “ wave a wallet under 'is nose” |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 18:56 - Jun 21 with 5047 views | Esox_Lucius |
QPR vs Southampton. Shilton in goal at the end of the week where he had crashed his Jag with a mystery woman in it. A few minutes into the game and a loud N'orn I'rn voice bellows out "Peter... Peter... Peter" and was duly ignored. Several more times the same cry of "Peter... Peter... Peter" rings out and still ignored. It all quietened down until a few minutes before half time the first "Peter" gets Shilts to slightly turn his head towards the Loft "Would ya give my missus a lift home after the game would ya?" Cue a fuming Shilton and a crowd pissing themselves.
A short time later we had Soton at home again so it must have been a cup game and a league match. Shilton has been thrown out of his house by his wife and accusations of a fight have been reported. Shilts is in goals in front of the Loft in the second half and every dead ball kick by him was accompanied by "Whhhoooooooaaaaaaah..... wife beater! Aaaah" but Shilts is a strong lad, he knew it was coming, he can take it, no problems. At some point in the second half he has come out to a cross to punchit clear and barely made contact with the ball. Same fellow from across the water bellows out "Jesus Christ Peter, I bet you hit your missus harder than that". From my position against the fence at the front I seriously thought he was going to come into the crowd and have words. He was fuming.
It was also Soton in a different season, the one where Steve Moran and Mark Wright were arrested on rape charges. naturally every Moran free kick was met with "Whhoooaahh Rapist!" and the crowd laughing along with it. At one point Moran went into a 50-50 tackle with Gary Waddock right by the Ellerslie touchline and was left prone on the pitch as a result. Quick as a flash, some wags opines "You're not dealing with Swedish virgins now you tart". Much ribaldry ensued. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 21:07 - Jun 21 with 4918 views | loftboy |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 18:56 - Jun 21 by Esox_Lucius |
QPR vs Southampton. Shilton in goal at the end of the week where he had crashed his Jag with a mystery woman in it. A few minutes into the game and a loud N'orn I'rn voice bellows out "Peter... Peter... Peter" and was duly ignored. Several more times the same cry of "Peter... Peter... Peter" rings out and still ignored. It all quietened down until a few minutes before half time the first "Peter" gets Shilts to slightly turn his head towards the Loft "Would ya give my missus a lift home after the game would ya?" Cue a fuming Shilton and a crowd pissing themselves.
A short time later we had Soton at home again so it must have been a cup game and a league match. Shilton has been thrown out of his house by his wife and accusations of a fight have been reported. Shilts is in goals in front of the Loft in the second half and every dead ball kick by him was accompanied by "Whhhoooooooaaaaaaah..... wife beater! Aaaah" but Shilts is a strong lad, he knew it was coming, he can take it, no problems. At some point in the second half he has come out to a cross to punchit clear and barely made contact with the ball. Same fellow from across the water bellows out "Jesus Christ Peter, I bet you hit your missus harder than that". From my position against the fence at the front I seriously thought he was going to come into the crowd and have words. He was fuming.
It was also Soton in a different season, the one where Steve Moran and Mark Wright were arrested on rape charges. naturally every Moran free kick was met with "Whhoooaahh Rapist!" and the crowd laughing along with it. At one point Moran went into a 50-50 tackle with Gary Waddock right by the Ellerslie touchline and was left prone on the pitch as a result. Quick as a flash, some wags opines "You're not dealing with Swedish virgins now you tart". Much ribaldry ensued. |
Derby away December 1990 two days before Christmas and he had been in the papers again. I kept reminding him about hitting his Mrs, he turned round and through gritted teeth told me he would thump me if I didn’t shut up. | |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 21:58 - Jun 21 with 4878 views | TomS |
It wasn't at Loftus Road, but it's in the spirit of the thread.
We were playing Doncaster away and the QPR fans met up at a steakhouse/pub near the stadium. Just before heading to the ground I went to the gents and eventually got a spot at the urinal to relieve myself of excess fluid.
Not long later a young guy alongside me at the urinal turned to me and said "hey old guy, remember, any more than two shakes is a w*nk". I replied pointing out "you've been here a lot longer than me", much to all his friends amusement. |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:32 - Jun 22 with 4674 views | MoonshineSteve |
First game of the season 2003. Glorious sunshine, great atmosphere, QPR 5 Blackpool 0. After the game we're filing out of the Ellerslie, everyone buzzing. The announcer then says "Hope you all enjoyed that one. Unfortunately, despite the five goals, we're not top of the league. Bristol City also won 5-0, and are top on alphabetical order".
Bloke behind me, with genuine vitriol and no irony, spits out "F**king alphabet!". |  |
| I am still Steve but no longer in Dagenham. |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:35 - Jun 22 with 4670 views | MoonshineSteve |
Or (technically not in the stadium, but anyway), back in the 80s all trooping out of the Loft and into Loftus Road, and there are four coppers on horses facing us. Random voice says "Ah, the Apocalypse". | |
| I am still Steve but no longer in Dagenham. |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:43 - Jun 22 with 4654 views | aston_hoop |
I remember back in the Div 2 days we played Cambridge and Dave Kitson was warming up, bloke nearby just shouted out "Oi Kitson, your mums a wotsit!" very random but made a 14 year old me very amused
Also remember playing Sheff Wed and they had an Irish left back, no idea of his name but some old Irish fella every time this bloke got the ball stood up and just shouted at him "Cork City reject! You're a Cork city reject"...constantly for the whole game, said nothing else. As if he'd really only just come over from Cork just to give this lad some abuse |  |
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| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:50 - Jun 22 with 4633 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 13:43 - Jun 22 by aston_hoop |
I remember back in the Div 2 days we played Cambridge and Dave Kitson was warming up, bloke nearby just shouted out "Oi Kitson, your mums a wotsit!" very random but made a 14 year old me very amused
Also remember playing Sheff Wed and they had an Irish left back, no idea of his name but some old Irish fella every time this bloke got the ball stood up and just shouted at him "Cork City reject! You're a Cork city reject"...constantly for the whole game, said nothing else. As if he'd really only just come over from Cork just to give this lad some abuse |
Anything to say in your defence Brian McCarthy? |  | | |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 14:06 - Jun 22 with 4604 views | NorthLondonR |
| Funniest comments you've heard at Loftus Road/ the KPF stadium on 12:42 - Jun 21 by PunteR |
When we were playing Chelsea at home after the JT and Ferdinand incident, Ashley Cole was getting pelters for defending JT.. "your John Terry's bitch ,your john Terry's bitch, Ashley Cole your John Terry's bitch.." My then 10 year old son turned to me and asked why were fans singing Ashley Cole your john Terry's FISH!. I said coz he's got a memory of a goldfish. My lad then started singing ..."your John Terry's fish"
Made me laugh anyway. [Post edited 21 Jun 2020 12:43]
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Brilliant. |  | | |
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