| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 862203 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
| |  |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:26 - Jan 7 with 10206 views | Sonofpugwash |
Sad news: After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion.
He slept with one of his patients and now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training and money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet. |  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 15:50 - Jan 8 with 9857 views | Toast_R |
I see David Beckham's 2nd son has signed for Brentford. Apparently when he arrived at training, he asked the coach "What number shirt am I?"
The coach said "Wear four out there Romeo…” |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:37 - Jan 10 with 9643 views | johann28 |
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know, and i don't care |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:42 - Jan 10 with 9618 views | loftboy |
I don’t like elevator jokes, they’re wrong on so many levels. |  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:37 - Jan 10 with 9492 views | Sonofpugwash |
Apparently if your electric car breaks down you can still use the AA.
For smaller cars you can use the AAA. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:48 - Jan 10 with 9410 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:42 - Jan 10 by loftboy |
I don’t like elevator jokes, they’re wrong on so many levels. |
Really? I find they give me a real lift |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:41 - Jan 10 with 9313 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:48 - Jan 10 by Lblock |
Really? I find they give me a real lift |
How much lower can these elevator jokes go?
We need to choose a floor. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:54 - Jan 10 with 9197 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:41 - Jan 10 by NewBee |
How much lower can these elevator jokes go?
We need to choose a floor. |
That's a question for one of our resident ladies.
She's not about at the moment
You can (in a Northern accent) eskerlator pal | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:53 - Jan 11 with 9007 views | Sonofpugwash |
David Beckham's son made his debut for Brentford B team last night.
The manager handed him the number 4 shirt.
"Wear four out there Romeo" | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:35 - Jan 15 with 8767 views | Boston |
Kilt
It's what happened to the last English bast@rd who called it a skirt. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:18 - Jan 16 with 8411 views | qprphil |
I asked old Maud how she lost her husband and she told me her sad story.. " Well he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently wanted to know, in order to save my Norman's life.
Tragically, I've never known his blood type so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.
I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be Positive, B Positive,"
That was my Norman! always thinking of others." | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:45 - Jan 17 with 8256 views | Boston |
I'm so sick of millennials and their attitude.
Walking around like they rent the place. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:49 - Jan 17 with 8252 views | Boston |
Last time I travelled over for a game I was taken ill at the airport.
Doctor told me it was terminal. [Post edited 17 Jan 2023 0:50]
| |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 02:03 - Jan 23 with 7846 views | Boston |
How many deaf electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Watt? | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:02 - Jan 26 with 7547 views | CateLeBonR |
Lizard?
Lizard?
Lizard?
Lizard?
Is there a Gecko in here?
(Courtesy of George Thomas in the goalkeeper training video on the offish at 9:00) |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:02 - Jan 26 with 7465 views | Orthodox_Hoop |
Two burglars are robbing an off-licence. One turns to the other and asks "Is this whiskey" ?The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - Jan 27 with 7129 views | CamberleyR |
A bloke rang me up the other night and said, " I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention."
I tried to tell him he had the wrong number but he was adamant. |  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:21 - Jan 30 with 6877 views | johann28 |
My really difficult mate has just completed a Ph.D. on the history of palindromes.
Now we just refer to him as Dr. Awkward. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:39 - Feb 1 with 6645 views | Boston |
A mate of mine was getting concerned about his wife's hearing.
He spoke to the doc about it explaining he was a little embarrassed to mention his worries and was there any way he could test her without her knowledge?
Doc says yeah, stand about 40' away and ask a question in a normal tone and volume. If that doesn't provoke a response, keep moving 10' closer until she does reply.
Later that evening he's sitting in the living room, figures it's about 40' and asks his wife, who's in the kitchen, what's for dinner, love?
No answer.
Gets up, walks to the other side of the room and asks the same question.
Silence.
So, he moves into the hall and tries again.
Nothing.
Seriously worried, he stands right behind her and in a slightly aggravated tone poses the same question.
She turns, stares at him in frustration and says, "for the fourth bloody time, I'm making a beef stew"! | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:39 - Feb 1 with 6360 views | Boston |
Around my way, it's become quite acceptable for a man to have 'work done' in an effort to remain youthful looking.
When Arthur down the street told a few of us that he used Botox, no one raised an eyebrow. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:10 - Feb 3 with 6178 views | qprphil |
Say what you will about women, but I think turning one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts to feel shaky, and dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, " I tink I'll have to go home. I've gone giddy, and feel sick." Murphy asks, " have yer got vertigo Paddy?"
Paddy replies, " no, I only live around the corner. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 07:48 - Feb 19 with 5760 views | BlackCrowe |
I'd love to live in a world without plagiarism.
You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. |  |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 07:50 - Feb 19 with 9053 views | distortR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:10 - Feb 3 by qprphil |
Say what you will about women, but I think turning one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts to feel shaky, and dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, " I tink I'll have to go home. I've gone giddy, and feel sick." Murphy asks, " have yer got vertigo Paddy?"
Paddy replies, " no, I only live around the corner. |
yeah, the first joke, on this website....................... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:31 - Feb 19 with 8825 views | Boston |
I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DD's.
It was a ridiculously long name. | |
| |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:01 - Feb 20 with 8710 views | Esox_Lucius |
Blake from San Antonio, Texas is drinking in a Colorado bar during a hunting trip when he gets a call on his cell phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar and announces that his wife has just produced a baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but Blake just shrugs, "That's about average in Texas, folks. Everything is big in Texas."
A week later Blake returns to the bar after being out in hunting for a week.
The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin’ bets about how big he'd be in one week. So, how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born."
Blake takes a slow swig from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised." |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
