| 5am 07:00 - Nov 11 with 2839 views | toboboly |
At approx 5am this morning i was awoken by the mrs whacking me and hissing in my ear "theres a noise, i think someone is in the house".
Bleary eyed, confused and concerned I grabbed the hard end of the hoover and wandered into the night to investigate. A number of things didn't happen;
1-there was no intruder and all the doors/windows were locked tight.
2-i noticed she hadn't followed to offer any help should i have to accost anyone
3-she has slept like a log since whilst i have been wide awake
Boils my piss |  |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| 5am on 07:23 - Nov 11 with 2774 views | WokingR |
Morning mate.
Mine regularly starts snoring around 4.30
It doesn’t matter how hard I nudge, poke or rock her, she doesn’t wake up or stop.
If I happen to touch her tits though she’s instantly awake telling me to get off as she’s trying to sleep.
Grrrrr |  | | |
| 5am on 07:30 - Nov 11 with 2747 views | toboboly |
| 5am on 07:23 - Nov 11 by WokingR |
Morning mate.
Mine regularly starts snoring around 4.30
It doesn’t matter how hard I nudge, poke or rock her, she doesn’t wake up or stop.
If I happen to touch her tits though she’s instantly awake telling me to get off as she’s trying to sleep.
Grrrrr |
Apologies, fat fingers with the vote down there.
Yeah, it amazes me how mine can fart her way through an entire night but as soon as i gently lift a cheek she is up and rabid at what a bastard i am | |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| 5am on 09:40 - Nov 11 with 2472 views | W7Ranger |
"A number of things didn't happen;
1-there was no intruder and all the doors/windows were locked tight.
2-i noticed she hadn't followed to offer any help should i have to accost anyone
3-she has slept like a log since whilst i have been wide awake
Boils my piss"
I can't believe she doesn't boil your piss?! What kind of wife is she??!!
PS. Hope you hoovered whilst you were going around the house. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone and all that. |  | | |
| 5am on 09:45 - Nov 11 with 2445 views | thame_hoops |
"At approx 5am this morning i was awoken by the mrs whacking me and hissing in my ear"
I thought this was the start of your venture into erotic literature... |  | | |
| 5am on 09:54 - Nov 11 with 2413 views | Juzzie |
I snore, I admit it, but so does mrs juzzie but "NO I DON'T" is the very stern response I get and the 'how dare you suggest such a thing' look.
[Post edited 11 Nov 2021 10:10]
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| 5am on 09:58 - Nov 11 with 2399 views | Mick_S |
My wife got me in a headlock and started rubbing my scalp with her knuckles. She was absolutely fast asleep.
I’ve mistaken the wardrobe for the toilet.(number 1’s)!” |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| 5am on 10:35 - Nov 11 with 2321 views | toboboly |
| 5am on 09:45 - Nov 11 by thame_hoops |
"At approx 5am this morning i was awoken by the mrs whacking me and hissing in my ear"
I thought this was the start of your venture into erotic literature... |
About as close as I get to "erotic" after 2 years marriage....
 | |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| 5am on 10:48 - Nov 11 with 2272 views | traininvain |
I was woken up at 3am by my 18 month old daughter throwing up in her cot. Washed and moved her into bed with mum and dad only for her to throw up in our bed at 5am. Good times. |  | | |
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| 5am on 10:52 - Nov 11 with 2258 views | stowmarketrange |
| 5am on 10:35 - Nov 11 by toboboly |
About as close as I get to "erotic" after 2 years marriage....
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You wait until you’ve done 29 years bird.I would’ve been getting out on licence at least 14 years ago if I’d done the decent thing years ago. |  | | |
| 5am on 10:58 - Nov 11 with 2231 views | Malintabuk |
| 5am on 10:48 - Nov 11 by traininvain |
I was woken up at 3am by my 18 month old daughter throwing up in her cot. Washed and moved her into bed with mum and dad only for her to throw up in our bed at 5am. Good times. |
Having 3 daughters, in 16 yrs time you will look back on this episode and think how wonderful that was...... it only gets worse honestly |  | | |
| 5am on 13:24 - Nov 11 with 2021 views | TheChef |
| 5am on 10:58 - Nov 11 by Malintabuk |
Having 3 daughters, in 16 yrs time you will look back on this episode and think how wonderful that was...... it only gets worse honestly |
Little kids little problems, big kids big problems.
Or so I am told.
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| 5am on 14:46 - Nov 11 with 1909 views | WokingR |
| 5am on 07:30 - Nov 11 by toboboly |
Apologies, fat fingers with the vote down there.
Yeah, it amazes me how mine can fart her way through an entire night but as soon as i gently lift a cheek she is up and rabid at what a bastard i am |
Yep, apparently her farts are cute and funny whereas mine are an attempt on her life.
Sometimes she has no idea how close to the truth she actually is. | | | |
| 5am on 14:49 - Nov 11 with 1902 views | A40Bosh |
| 5am on 10:58 - Nov 11 by Malintabuk |
Having 3 daughters, in 16 yrs time you will look back on this episode and think how wonderful that was...... it only gets worse honestly |
Having 3 daughters, in 22 years time you will look back on this episode and think how wonderful that was..... it only gets worse (again) honestly |  |
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| 5am on 15:13 - Nov 11 with 1855 views | toboboly |
| 5am on 14:46 - Nov 11 by WokingR |
Yep, apparently her farts are cute and funny whereas mine are an attempt on her life.
Sometimes she has no idea how close to the truth she actually is. |
Just like when I shave it is the end of civilisation when there are a few stray hairs on the mirror, but when she gets out of the shower it's like someone shaved a Great Dane. | |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| 5am on 18:11 - Nov 11 with 1646 views | PunteR |
I'm still wondering what the hard end of a hoover is?. |  |
| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| 5am on 21:59 - Nov 11 with 1433 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| 5am on 07:23 - Nov 11 by WokingR |
Morning mate.
Mine regularly starts snoring around 4.30
It doesn’t matter how hard I nudge, poke or rock her, she doesn’t wake up or stop.
If I happen to touch her tits though she’s instantly awake telling me to get off as she’s trying to sleep.
Grrrrr |
Well I’ve never ever had any problems touching her earthas.
You sure your doing it right? |  |
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| 5am on 22:48 - Nov 11 with 1351 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
A accidental knee in the Jacobs. |  | | |
| 5am on 23:38 - Nov 11 with 1295 views | DavieQPR |
Took me a while to work out who Sam was and what he had to do with it. |  | | |
| 5am on 14:41 - Nov 14 with 981 views | californiahoop |
| 5am on 10:35 - Nov 11 by toboboly |
About as close as I get to "erotic" after 2 years marriage....
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Come back at 20, lol | | | |
| 5am on 14:54 - Nov 14 with 956 views | collegeranger |
| 5am on 09:54 - Nov 11 by Juzzie |
I snore, I admit it, but so does mrs juzzie but "NO I DON'T" is the very stern response I get and the 'how dare you suggest such a thing' look.
[Post edited 11 Nov 2021 10:10]
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Be careful - guy I worked with came home one day to find his Mrs standing there with a envelope serving him Divorce papers on the basis of "unreasonable behaviour"! After 9 months went into the final hearing and the court asked her determine the "unreasonable beviour" - "Farting in bed your Honour" ! We all agreed in the office he was better off without her as complaining about farting in our book was unreasnable!! |  | | |
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