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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread 09:00 - Feb 23 with 25936 viewsDorse

It has been estimated that approximately 13.8 billion years have passed since the beginning of the universe as we know it. Scientists have calculated that around 39% of that time has been wasted by Preston players feigning injury, complaining to the ref or kicking the ball away when their team is a goal up. These figures are startling: it seemed so much longer at the time.

What, if anything, can we expect playing north of Watford gap, midweek, at Preston? Under normal circumstances, a piss-boiling display of rampant gob-bummery administered ad nauseum by the game's foremost exponents of the Dark Arts. Coached by Baphomet himself, Preston have clearly offered their first born daughters to the Evil One in order to gain mystical control over time itself and weakened the minds of Championship referees. Is there any hope?

Yep. We got Charlie Austin. So there.
[Post edited 24 Feb 8:54]

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 10:18 - Feb 25 with 876 viewsqprphil

Lets face it, we'd have all taken a draw before kick off, a win would have been a bonus. Preston were for the taking, but so were we, we looked very jaded, all these games must take a toll eventually but, it's the same for every team. Poor game of football tbh.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 10:30 - Feb 25 with 854 viewsMyke

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 10:06 - Feb 25 by BrianMcCarthy

I agree to an extent, kernow, but strikers will run to either post or at the goalie, so the target as Sinton says is "between the posts".

As I recall, and this is all from memory, so just a feel thing... Kane went through a run of not beating the man at the near post. That doesn't seem to happen as often now (I think) as he's going longer when he gets his cross away. His next area of improvement is going to be harder - learning to get a half-yard of space, as quite a few of his crosses get blocked by his marker.


Overall Kane's crossing was poor last night, a regression on how he has done recently. That said, I thought he whipped one lovely ball into the 'corridor' between defence and goalie late in the first half, which neither Dykes nor Austin got near. Dykes because he doesn't have that instinct to gamble, Austin because he looked knackered. Obviously his adrenaline was pumping a week ago v Brentford, but last night he looked a shadow of that player. Last night, he looked like the player I feared we had brought back. Hopefully just a blip, because the games are coming 'thick and fast' you know.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 11:09 - Feb 25 with 790 viewsBrianMcCarthy

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 10:30 - Feb 25 by Myke

Overall Kane's crossing was poor last night, a regression on how he has done recently. That said, I thought he whipped one lovely ball into the 'corridor' between defence and goalie late in the first half, which neither Dykes nor Austin got near. Dykes because he doesn't have that instinct to gamble, Austin because he looked knackered. Obviously his adrenaline was pumping a week ago v Brentford, but last night he looked a shadow of that player. Last night, he looked like the player I feared we had brought back. Hopefully just a blip, because the games are coming 'thick and fast' you know.


I called that cross 'poor' last night which I think was wrong of me. I still think it might have been overhit but agree that it was made look worse by no-one attacking it.

PS. If you're going to say 'corridor' go the whole hog and say "corridor of uncertainty" (copyright Andy Sinton) and pay the 3p you owe him!

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 11:41 - Feb 25 with 748 viewsSpaghetti_Hoops

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 22:45 - Feb 24 by WestbourneR

It’s a good point and keeps the moment and confidence building. Overall Preston probably shaded it.

But today must be Dykes last chance to start for a while - two guilt edged chances wasted again. And he’s just not doing enough in other areas to bring others into to play to justify not scoring. He looks way off it.

Also Chair needs a break. He’s not doing it. Does have a really bad habit of slowing play down.

Willock and Adomah need to come in and be given a go from the start, they’ve earned it.

I’d stick with Kane and Wallace for now but I’d dearly love an upgrade in the fullback areas
this summer.


Infogol rate Dykes chances 33%, the first one which the goalie did well to stop, and 3%. Yes 1 chance in 33 of scoring. Not exactly guilt edged. In fact he probably did better than the average attempt from that sort of chance, which usually go way over the bar.

Commentators are always screaming 'should have scored' when the chances of scoring are actually minimal. It seems that some gullible fans buy this stuff.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 13:33 - Feb 25 with 654 viewsMyke

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 11:09 - Feb 25 by BrianMcCarthy

I called that cross 'poor' last night which I think was wrong of me. I still think it might have been overhit but agree that it was made look worse by no-one attacking it.

PS. If you're going to say 'corridor' go the whole hog and say "corridor of uncertainty" (copyright Andy Sinton) and pay the 3p you owe him!


Dammit I was going to patent 'corridor'! You are right, there was a bit too much pace on it, but neither Chaz nor Dykes were close.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 13:51 - Feb 25 with 614 viewsBurnleyhoop

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 08:44 - Feb 25 by Northernr

I'm not sure it was. Game wasn't far away from being called off before kick off.


Commentary team said it was in great condition. Don’t recall seeing much in the way of the ball holding up in surface water or bare patches...unlike our patch.

Either way, it’s a bit lame to blame the rain and being up north for any performance. Time to dispel the southern softie tag and man up (which in fairness we have been doing of late).

The young Everton loanee flourished in the conditions....perhaps it rains a lot in Liverpool as well?
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 14:25 - Feb 25 with 562 viewsMaggsinho

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 13:51 - Feb 25 by Burnleyhoop

Commentary team said it was in great condition. Don’t recall seeing much in the way of the ball holding up in surface water or bare patches...unlike our patch.

Either way, it’s a bit lame to blame the rain and being up north for any performance. Time to dispel the southern softie tag and man up (which in fairness we have been doing of late).

The young Everton loanee flourished in the conditions....perhaps it rains a lot in Liverpool as well?


He was just on a high because it was apparently his birthday.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 14:43 - Feb 25 with 539 viewsMick_S

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 14:25 - Feb 25 by Maggsinho

He was just on a high because it was apparently his birthday.


I'm pleased for him - wish I'd have known last night.

"Preston North End’s on loan Everton attacker Anthony Gordon turns 20 on Wednesday and he is looking to celebrate his birthday with a big performance and result against Queens Park Rangers."

XXX all at Sky.
[Post edited 25 Feb 14:44]

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 14:56 - Feb 25 with 512 viewsBenny_the_Ball

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 08:42 - Feb 25 by Burnleyhoop

What is it with the “up north and raining” thing?

The pitch was in great condition and the surface was slippery, great for pinging the ball about with incisive passing. Deal with it. I used to love playing in those conditions....and usually on a mud bath not a bowling green.


Yes because you're Burnleyhoop!

All jokes aside, I'm a southerner yet I never had an issue with such conditions. It's an age old stereotype that is sometimes trotted out as an excuse for poor performances.

My only minor criticism was the lack of changes as the team are obviously tired but I do recognise that the players who were selected are the kind of characters that are more likely to roll up their sleeves in such conditions.

All being said, we left PNE with a creditable draw and the good run continues.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 15:10 - Feb 25 with 486 viewsTheChef

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 10:06 - Feb 25 by BrianMcCarthy

I agree to an extent, kernow, but strikers will run to either post or at the goalie, so the target as Sinton says is "between the posts".

As I recall, and this is all from memory, so just a feel thing... Kane went through a run of not beating the man at the near post. That doesn't seem to happen as often now (I think) as he's going longer when he gets his cross away. His next area of improvement is going to be harder - learning to get a half-yard of space, as quite a few of his crosses get blocked by his marker.


I think this may have been mentioned elsewhere previously, but Kane's main issue is not being able to deliver a cross quickly enough.

He'll receive the ball and look down at it before he actually kicks it, giving defenders a precious extra second or two to close the cross down.

Given he's 27 and a professional footballer with countless hours of training and playing, it's amazing this issue hasn't been ironed out.

PS Belated happy birthday Anthony Gordon!!
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 16:16 - Feb 25 with 445 viewsPinnerPaul

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 09:13 - Feb 25 by BrianMcCarthy

I winced when I heard the comms team talking pre-game about a bad night up North, like it never rains down South.


Well not never obviously, but some website or other tells me this.....

With a moderate sea climate, it often rains in the UK. However, London seems to be a bit of an exception since it only rains annually 557.4 mm compared to the country’s average of 1154 mm.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 16:19 - Feb 25 with 441 viewsPinnerPaul

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 16:16 - Feb 25 by PinnerPaul

Well not never obviously, but some website or other tells me this.....

With a moderate sea climate, it often rains in the UK. However, London seems to be a bit of an exception since it only rains annually 557.4 mm compared to the country’s average of 1154 mm.


Just to add though that as our and Preston's players originate from all over the country/world, not sure the rain/temp has anything to do with the result one way or the other!
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 21:14 - Feb 25 with 365 viewskarl

Missed the thread last night as had a Zoom meeting arranged at 8pm so had it on in the background but with the importance of Orkney football foremost in my mind I only got small parts of the game and no feeling for the pattern of it.
Probably should be happy with a point but feels like we should beat everyone at the moment!
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 22:57 - Feb 26 with 264 viewsBurnleyhoop

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 14:25 - Feb 25 by Maggsinho

He was just on a high because it was apparently his birthday.


Dykes could do with a couple of birthdays coming up 😁
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 23:34 - Feb 26 with 238 viewsBrianMcCarthy

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 21:14 - Feb 25 by karl

Missed the thread last night as had a Zoom meeting arranged at 8pm so had it on in the background but with the importance of Orkney football foremost in my mind I only got small parts of the game and no feeling for the pattern of it.
Probably should be happy with a point but feels like we should beat everyone at the moment!


Missed you on the Fred, Karl. (eh?)

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 00:57 - Feb 27 with 209 viewskarl

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 23:34 - Feb 26 by BrianMcCarthy

Missed you on the Fred, Karl. (eh?)


Thank you Brian.
I thought I would be able to follow quite well but apart from the fact it was nil nil and, looked like it, I couldn't pick anything up from what I saw. My Fred input is less than the underwhelming Man Ure version!
I'm sure many pleased by that😂
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 01:01 - Feb 27 with 205 viewsFredManRave

Dorse opined in his opening Match Thread paragraph;

"It has been estimated that approximately 13.8 billion years have passed since the beginning of the universe as we know it. Scientists have calculated that around 39% of that time has been wasted by Preston players feigning injury, complaining to the ref or kicking the ball away when their team is a goal up. These figures are startling: it seemed so much longer at the time."

The voting for best opening paragraph in a Match Thread has now been closed!


I've got the Power.
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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 01:18 - Feb 27 with 194 viewsBrianMcCarthy

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 01:01 - Feb 27 by FredManRave

Dorse opined in his opening Match Thread paragraph;

"It has been estimated that approximately 13.8 billion years have passed since the beginning of the universe as we know it. Scientists have calculated that around 39% of that time has been wasted by Preston players feigning injury, complaining to the ref or kicking the ball away when their team is a goal up. These figures are startling: it seemed so much longer at the time."

The voting for best opening paragraph in a Match Thread has now been closed!



Agree, Fred.

I love the surreal posters on here, they're like our No. 10's, and Dorse is up there with the best of them.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 01:33 - Feb 27 with 182 viewsFredManRave

The Early Edition Midweek Northern 'Shithousery Special' Match Thread on 01:18 - Feb 27 by BrianMcCarthy

Agree, Fred.

I love the surreal posters on here, they're like our No. 10's, and Dorse is up there with the best of them.


Agreed Bri. The wit and repartee is a joy to behold on here. There are several great posters in that respect and just so you're not feeling left out, you've got the "Best Match Thread Updater" award for the season in the bag. There were a couple of other nominees but you know their outcome. CTN.


I've got the Power.
Poll: Reuniting LFWs Who do you want to win the F.A.Cup Poll?!

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