| Getting older 23:07 - Feb 8 with 7835 views | WatfordR |
So I'm sure some of you may have paid some attention to my occasional rants and may know that I'm into my second 50 years of following my beloved Hoops. And it is my fervent intention to complete that second 50 years to add to the first. You'll maybe be surprised if you've ever read any of my posts to learn that I am actually in most respects more glass half full than half empty. I do secretly believe that one day we will put right the wrongs of 1975-76 and claim our spot at the summit of English football. Yes yes I know...but you have to believe.
I've also always believed I'll live forever. I actually enjoy being here too much, despite the inevitable knockbacks of life. The idea I'll die some day really has never really occurred to me. The fact that bit by bit my body reminds me I'm getting older...well, in my head I'm still 26. Why 26 and not 25 I've no idea. It's always been 26. Who that bugger is looking back at me in the bathroom mirror each morning, I've no clue. The world still worships at my feet. Seriously.
So where's all this going? Well. Over the last few years, I have come to know of a few people who suffer from degenerative illness. A couple who were friends of my mother in law. Sadly, more recently, my mum, primarily as a result of being involved in a road accident going to her pilates class at the age of 89. She's coming up to 95 now. A good friend of mine whose mum died just recently after years suffering from dementia. And I've just watched an interview with Bryan Murray, who some may remember from a TV programme called The Irish RM, or slightly more recently as the incestuous Trevor Jordache in Brookside. He has been diagnosed with dementia, and although in the early stages, the effects of the disease are there to see, although subtly at this stage. The interview was with Tommy Tiernan by the way, best show of its kind in my opinion. Some great interviews over the years. But I digress.
That interview suddenly brought home to me that despite all my natural optimism, despite my inclination to believe that everything will be alright for me, because generally I've always been fairly robust health wise, despite all that...I dread the idea of succumbing to a degenerative disease like alzheimers or dementia. More than almost any other illness that might strike me. Not for my own selfish reasons, but because of the way it erodes and changes relationships with those around you. I've seen how all the happy memories of a life you've had with someone can be lost or overwritten by the gradual decline of your mental faculties, and it frightens me. I wouldn't want to put my wife, kids or grandkids through any of it, but I'm aware that it's something I might ultimately have no control over. Thankfully, thankfully, nothing to suggest I have anything to worry about on that score, just to be clear.
I guess the point of this thread is to throw it open to us Rangers fans of a certain age, to give an opportunity to any of us who are becoming conscious of/worried about perhaps no longer being the axis of the universe we always thought we were, to voice and/or discuss the concerns or fears we have about getting on a bit. Either on this thread or by PM.
To round off, I'm reminded of a joke I heard many years ago. A man goes to the doctor who tells him " I've got your results back and it's not good news I'm afraid. You have cancer and you also have alzheimers." To which the man replies "Well I suppose it could be worse. I could have cancer"
Well I laughed. Back when I was younger.... |  | | |  |
| Getting older on 00:18 - Feb 9 with 5027 views | stowmarketrange |
On your last sentence about laughing,I always thought when I was younger that it wouldn’t be that bad getting dementia and sitting around all day without a care in the world.Now that I’m a lot older you wouldn’t be surprised to know that I think differently about that scenario.
I’d like to think that I’d have the courage to get a ticket to Geneva and an injection to end the pain and suffering for me and my family.
I’d like to think I’d do the same if I developed terminal cancer as I’ve seen the way it destroys people until they’re nothing but a half empty shell,wracked with pain and probably wishing for it all to end.
I know that one day my time will come to die but I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
On a happier note,I think we’ll win 2-1 on Saturday. |  | | |
| Getting older on 00:40 - Feb 9 with 4988 views | TomS |
I'm also into my second half century and am well aware of the health risks out there. Dementia is a very real and frightening prospect. I often think that modern medicine has evolved to the extent that it will keep us alive for longer than designed. But surviving is not the same as living, if you are totally dependent on others.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'd also support the right to leave this mortal coil on my own terms. |  | | |
| Getting older on 00:46 - Feb 9 with 4973 views | Boston |
I have no fear of mental degenerative disorders...I was born stupid. |  |
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| Getting older on 04:34 - Feb 9 with 4906 views | CLAREMAN1995 |
| Getting older on 00:40 - Feb 9 by TomS |
I'm also into my second half century and am well aware of the health risks out there. Dementia is a very real and frightening prospect. I often think that modern medicine has evolved to the extent that it will keep us alive for longer than designed. But surviving is not the same as living, if you are totally dependent on others.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'd also support the right to leave this mortal coil on my own terms. |
I wish I could vote up a few times TomS that last line is perfect.
I strongly support the patients right to go to the next life / Promised Land once its past the point of no return .While I understand the fear in the medical community that people
with terminal illness could be taken advantage of this option should be common place IMO.
Sadly the patient with advanced Dementia is obvlious to their condition but the care givers are distraught .Its not called the long goodbye for nothing.
However the curse that is known over here as ALS or in Europe as Motor Neuron Disease is the cruelest of all with the patients brain staying active while the body basically destroys itself.
My neighbour 55 and perfectly healthy was struggling to breath for a few weeks .It was not heart or lung issues just advanced ALS.It skipped all the muscle weakness issues and attacked his lungs .This is normally late in the progression but its so cruel it hit him that way.
Came home with Oxygen tanks ,called his 3 kids in ,said his goodbyes ,kissed his wife told her she was his reason for living and did not want to go out the way we see in EVERY case
After they all fell asleep he switched off his oxygen and drifted on .RIP | | | |
| Getting older on 07:20 - Feb 9 with 4768 views | GaryBannister86 |
I'm nearly 49 and my dear old Dad passed away almost exactly two years ago. Up until that point I never considered myself as old or even pondered the passing of the sands of time.
That all changed, for that reason I guess, and now it seems odd to think I've got less time to go than I've had already. Seize the day, they say, but that's all very well if you've got the money to do so. Else wasting your life on slogging away at work.....no other option. It's the finality of watching a loved one die that makes you consider what you are actually spending your life doing. Once you're gone, you're gone. No coming back. Still struggle to get my head round the fact I will never talk Rangers to Dad again. He would be mortified (no pun intended) at the Chris Martin signing. I know that for a fact!
I guess you just move forward without regret and be happy if you and loved ones stay healthy. That 3rd round defeats don't mean much in the bigger context. But, human nature being what it is.... [Post edited 9 Feb 2023 7:21]
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| Getting older on 08:25 - Feb 9 with 4603 views | stevec |
Dementia touches so many families these days and it’s become a game changer.
Quite funny to see the government getting themselves worked up about the near million over 50’s who have voluntarily become ‘economically inactive’. People who by definition aren’t drawing benefits but deciding to enjoy their life and any little wealth they’ve managed to accumulate.
Spent a lot of time over the last decade amongst those with dementia and when my mum wasn’t particularly communicative, would chat with the other residents. I lost count the number of times, talking about the weather, how to work the remote control, all the mundane stuff, out of the blue they’d skip temporarily back to reality and overwhelmingly they’d reflect on not their own situation but the fact that everything they’d worked for was being stripped away from them by the state essentially when they’d lived to know they could help provide for their sons and daughters when they had gone. Knowing that had been taking out of their hands and their reflection on why they had even bothered, you couldn’t help be glad for them when they slipped back into la la land.
Think oldies have woken up to this. Build what you can over your younger life but when you sense you’ve reached your own personal summit and can see the potential journey downhill, then stop building and enjoy what you’ve got from thereon in. If there’s anything left at the end, great, but I’ve told my kids, when I stop making sense, put me in a Rangers shirt, a pair of white shorts and on the coldest night of the year, sit me down in our local park. Anything please that keeps me out of the care system. |  | | |
| Getting older on 08:49 - Feb 9 with 4532 views | loftus77 |
Crikey...this thread is totally depressing, totally thought-provoking and totally inspiring all at the same time.
I just wish I could say none of it was relevant to me... | | | |
| Getting older on 08:50 - Feb 9 with 4528 views | slmrstid |
I lost my Grandad last year, having lost my Grandma 18 months before. They only had one child which was my mum and she'd died at the beginning of January 2019 (40+ years of alcohol abuse finally came to call in its debts...horrible thing to witness).
My Grandma was healthy, had a stroke and then was gone within 4 weeks. This was in Covid times too so none of us could ever see her in hospital. The last time my Grandad saw his wife of 60+ years was her being wheeled away in an ambulance from their home. Horrific.
Then last year, after he was admitted to hospital his health gradually slipped away.
However, both of them were absolutely adamant they never wanted to go into care and have all their life funds they'd strived for stripped away from them down to their Grandkids, so in a way they'd actually be pleased they went the way they did. That said I've been working on both their estates for nigh 2 years now as I'm the only executor and I've still got a house sale to try and complete. Not fun.
On the other side of the family, I've been going QPR with my Dad since I was 9 years old. We've had our season tickets now since 1999 - same seats, same people around us give or take all that time. Always our thing together. Last autumn he was diagnosed with a cancerous tumour in his bowel. For now there's no immediate sign of danger, he's undergoing treatment with view to an operation to remove the tumour if the drugs do their thing. Hopefully that all goes to plan and he gets to enjoy many more years. But all of a sudden its changed my mindset around going to QPR with him as "how many of these have I got left?" and "Can I carry on doing this and coming here alone if the worst happens?" And honestly I haven't a clue to the answer to either of those questions yet and it terrifies me.
At 33 I am obviously on the younger side of this thread's aims, but my worries extend to those above me in the ladder, so to speak. That said none of us ever know what's around the corner - I could be hit by a car in 6 months and killed so my life is 90% done already - hopefully not of course and something none of us ever truly know the answer too! (And thank goodness, how much would it change your mind if you knew the exact date and time you'd be leaving? Gives me shivers) |  | | |
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| Getting older on 09:17 - Feb 9 with 4471 views | bosh67 |
Yup, my dad died a few years ago of cancer at the start of the pandemic. My girlfriend's foster dad died of cancer last year, both my girlfriend and mum have been through cancer several times over the last few years. I've been quite lucky in the first half of my 50s. I have arthritis in my right knee and hip but it is what it is. I got Covid early on in the pandemic and since then my ability to remember names has been non existent, which is frustrating and weird. Dementia is a source of anxiety but on the up side I know that if they ask me if my football team are a constant source of disappointment I'll always be able to say yes and they'll think I'm fine. |  |
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| Getting older on 09:39 - Feb 9 with 4423 views | HantsR |
| Getting older on 09:17 - Feb 9 by bosh67 |
Yup, my dad died a few years ago of cancer at the start of the pandemic. My girlfriend's foster dad died of cancer last year, both my girlfriend and mum have been through cancer several times over the last few years. I've been quite lucky in the first half of my 50s. I have arthritis in my right knee and hip but it is what it is. I got Covid early on in the pandemic and since then my ability to remember names has been non existent, which is frustrating and weird. Dementia is a source of anxiety but on the up side I know that if they ask me if my football team are a constant source of disappointment I'll always be able to say yes and they'll think I'm fine. |
I have many parallels in life with much of what has been written on this engaging thread, but on your last amusing point Bosh, I remember my M I Law in hospital in the early stages of dementia and as a cognitive test, they asked her for her birthdate - hmm, glum shaking of heads at her response... It took us to point out to the medical staff that she was answering correctly, and it was their own records that were wrong! |  | | |
| Getting older on 09:49 - Feb 9 with 4399 views | Sonofpugwash |
Mid life crisis perhaps?
Wait until you get into your seventies mate,that really sucks.
More complaints than a BT helpline. [Post edited 9 Feb 2023 9:50]
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| Getting older on 09:53 - Feb 9 with 4397 views | PlanetHonneywood |
There's a UN report that opines people are 80% likely to develop a recognised disability (be that physical, mental, or sensory) after turning 80. In other words: humanity might be living longer, we're just not living better with the extra time medical science is giving us.
Therefore, it's never too early and, significantly, it's never too late to make and implement simple lifestyle changes to ensure you give yourself the best chance of living well.
I eat a 95% WFPB diet, it would be higher but for a liking for cheese and living in a food-conservative country. Omitting the consumption of animal and processed food sources and replacing with plant food has and is showing a demonstrably positive effect on health and wellbeing. Those who dismiss the scientifically proven evidence are often ignorant - frequently misguided by the vested interests of the meat and dairy industries - of the double whammy effect of not eating enough of the right stuff and replacing it with the damaging wrong stuff.
Secondly, I've always eaten more at home and thus, Mrs. Ph and I reduce salt and sugar, and eliminate trans fats as a result of cooking whole foods.
I cannot emphasise enough, the importance of hydration. A key factor exacerbating poor mental health of seniors in my view, is dehydration. They want to avoid going to the toilet all the time, and again, a lot of science to prove how dehydration affects cognitive function. I look to drink two litres of water a day.
Movement/exercise is also crucial. As someone who has had to contend with being an amputee since aged three and had a demanding job, I still managed to run marathons, and I refuse to accept people cannot fit exercise into their lives.
Smoking, if you're still doing so, then you're increasing the likelihood of morbidity and likewise with booze if you're overdoing it. I don't smoke, and I've really cut back on the grog.
Stress is a great unknown. I've been fortunate to be able to significantly reduce mine following knocking work on the head at 55 a couple of years ago. If you've got stressors in your life, you need to find ways to reduce, remove and work around them because poor mental wellbeing can negatively impact everything above.
I had a bit of a come-to-Jesus health wobble a while back, and went all in with the changes above. Recent medical results were excellent for a chap my age.
I'm actually about to head off for a hike with Mrs PH would you believe. Thing is: you can't take health for granted, but you can give yourself the best chance.
Nameste bitches. |  |
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| Getting older on 10:09 - Feb 9 with 4362 views | bosh67 |
| Getting older on 09:39 - Feb 9 by HantsR |
I have many parallels in life with much of what has been written on this engaging thread, but on your last amusing point Bosh, I remember my M I Law in hospital in the early stages of dementia and as a cognitive test, they asked her for her birthdate - hmm, glum shaking of heads at her response... It took us to point out to the medical staff that she was answering correctly, and it was their own records that were wrong! |
Yes I had the same with my dad's brother years ago. He had a serious brain injury but was occasionally able to be cognitive for a few minutes every so often. Nobody believed us and they said it was just some kind of reflex that mimicked him being okay every so often. It was hugely frustrating. The only thing that was particularly weird is that in his moments of lucidity he would ask if he was gay? (he was) But although he could then speak quite fluidly for a bit he had no recollection of that part of his life at all and had a bit of a thing for his young female nurse. The brain is such a complex thing. Long story but my family got sued for spending too much money on his care by the executors of his estate and they won because the surgeons who testified against us said he had no ability to be cognitive at all, despite never actually meeting him. My parents and I had to remortgage to pay the debt and ultimately it led to my dad's demise over the years. Lucidity even in the worse cases of brain injuries is possible! | |
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| Getting older on 10:20 - Feb 9 with 4326 views | Sonofpugwash |
| Getting older on 10:09 - Feb 9 by bosh67 |
Yes I had the same with my dad's brother years ago. He had a serious brain injury but was occasionally able to be cognitive for a few minutes every so often. Nobody believed us and they said it was just some kind of reflex that mimicked him being okay every so often. It was hugely frustrating. The only thing that was particularly weird is that in his moments of lucidity he would ask if he was gay? (he was) But although he could then speak quite fluidly for a bit he had no recollection of that part of his life at all and had a bit of a thing for his young female nurse. The brain is such a complex thing. Long story but my family got sued for spending too much money on his care by the executors of his estate and they won because the surgeons who testified against us said he had no ability to be cognitive at all, despite never actually meeting him. My parents and I had to remortgage to pay the debt and ultimately it led to my dad's demise over the years. Lucidity even in the worse cases of brain injuries is possible! |
Yes,even in terminal stages there's a moment of grim humour.
My old dad,83,in IC on account of taking too much Warfarin.Haemorrhaging everywhere and the doc asks me to make the heartbreaking decision to "let him go" and the last thing he says to me was " I hope I haven't got VD".
Sorry,got to go.... | |
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| Getting older on 10:40 - Feb 9 with 4304 views | stowmarketrange |
| Getting older on 08:25 - Feb 9 by stevec |
Dementia touches so many families these days and it’s become a game changer.
Quite funny to see the government getting themselves worked up about the near million over 50’s who have voluntarily become ‘economically inactive’. People who by definition aren’t drawing benefits but deciding to enjoy their life and any little wealth they’ve managed to accumulate.
Spent a lot of time over the last decade amongst those with dementia and when my mum wasn’t particularly communicative, would chat with the other residents. I lost count the number of times, talking about the weather, how to work the remote control, all the mundane stuff, out of the blue they’d skip temporarily back to reality and overwhelmingly they’d reflect on not their own situation but the fact that everything they’d worked for was being stripped away from them by the state essentially when they’d lived to know they could help provide for their sons and daughters when they had gone. Knowing that had been taking out of their hands and their reflection on why they had even bothered, you couldn’t help be glad for them when they slipped back into la la land.
Think oldies have woken up to this. Build what you can over your younger life but when you sense you’ve reached your own personal summit and can see the potential journey downhill, then stop building and enjoy what you’ve got from thereon in. If there’s anything left at the end, great, but I’ve told my kids, when I stop making sense, put me in a Rangers shirt, a pair of white shorts and on the coldest night of the year, sit me down in our local park. Anything please that keeps me out of the care system. |
Speaking as one of the inactive workforce,I couldn’t agree with you more about deciding when to call it a day work wise.I consider myself very lucky in being able to stop working early and enjoy my life a lot more while I still can.
When I joined my last company in 2011 there were about 5 or 6 of us that were all born in 1960,and we used to talk about retiring early.The eldest one,who was born 5 months before me died from cancer last month,one has a large mortgage still to pay,one has youngish children and another got made redundant 2 years ago,and is delivering groceries to peoples homes.
I’d hate to see everything we’ve ever worked for being frittered away by keeping me half alive in a care home so people have to come and visit me to tell me what my name is for the 1000th time.
Roll on Sunday and the flight to New Zealand and another bit that the government won’t get their grubby paws on. | | | |
| Getting older on 10:43 - Feb 9 with 4293 views | terryb |
*After writing the below sentances, I realised how this has helped me. Thank you for the thread!
I'm currently going through "dementia in the family". My brother (74) was diagnosed with this last year & has had to change his life drastically, moving back to the UK rather than enjoying the warmth of Cyprus.
He understands that this was a necessity as he was becoming increasingly dependant on friends looking after his welfare, but he will go to his grave wishing that he was still in Larnica rather than Cornwall. Cornwall due to his eldest daughter living there rather than his preference to return to the Chilterns, due to house prices. £400k more to purchase a one bed care assisted apartment in Amersham than Truro from the same company!
What I hadn't considered was the effect his illness could have on parts of his life. What really hurts him is that he can no longer use a computer, after spending all of his working life developing software. From knowing to the penny his bank account balances, he can no longer access online banking or use the web. He can still sink a pint though & pines for positive results for Chesham United & Arsenal! It's my job to phone him with the results.
I'm quite relaxed about the possibility of suffering from the illness myself, but I've an absolute dread of my wife doing so & lacking the patience to nurse her through. | | | |
| Getting older on 12:59 - Feb 9 with 4136 views | MrSheen |
I guess like most people I fear what happened to my direct forbears much more than other things. I'm already older than my Dad managed (56), but what happened to him can't be prevented (sudden mental breakdown and suicide, but my mental health is fine). I'm also unlikely to get breast cancer like my mother (though it's not impossible), though I have a fear of what happened to her, losing her independence, pleasure in life and finally her dignity over three years.My grandparents all made it into their 80s, despite poor diets, smoking and a much harder life than I've ever had. One of my grandmothers developed dementia, so I keep testing my faculties - generally OK, but I've noticed losing co-ordination on stairs from time to time. I wonder if that might be linked to failing eyesight, which is probably correctable but always carries the threat of sudden dependence, which I certainly wouldn't enjoy.
Crazy problems of success, my health and happiness are generally very good, probably in the top 99.9999% of men my age across history., but I know I'm going from 100% to zero inevitably. Not sure if I want it to happen quickly or slowly, as long as it's not imminent (please). |  | | |
| Getting older on 16:10 - Feb 9 with 4022 views | ngbqpr |
Threads like this are what make LFW special.
So much info & insight.
Mr Honney, I'm happy to report that in my six years as a vegan, the standard of plant-based cheeses has rocketed.
Most of my nearest & dearest from the generation above succumbed to one of dementia or cancer. There seems to be a certain inevitability about it, in my own very unscientific way, I've always thought it's your body's way of saying it's given up. I'm like some others here, would tell the kids I'm off to Switzerland if I detect the signs early enough. |  |
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| Getting older on 16:21 - Feb 9 with 4003 views | CFW |
Very interesting and thought provoking thread. I have supported the Hoops since 1964 so clearly I am no spring chicken. One of my grandchildren asked me the other week if I wished I was 40 years younger - my answer surprised her. I was born (in my opinion) at a fantastic time and would not change that for anything. The war was over, cost of living was cheap and under control, people did not expect anything other than a basic life. When I was at school I honestly can only remember a hand full of pupils who were bought up by a single parent. I do not recall any vegetarians, vegans or people with nut allergies. Gluten free? what was that?? If you had a fall out with someone, it was settled with a punch up and friends afterwards. After school or during the holidays we were out on our bikes playing football, cricket or going for a hike - out in the morning back for tea and out till it was getting dark.
Left school - no one I knew went to University (so no pressure to pass exams), loads of jobs, apprenticeships on tap along with other jobs that offered training and a career path. Could dink and drive (glad that was stopped), smoke in cinemas, on busses, trains and even on an airplane. I am not saying that was right but the world was a different place then.
The average age to pass away was much lower than now, my grandparents were all gone by the time they were mid 70's, I have no idea what the average age is now but the vast majority of older folk are only kept alive by the advancement of medicines. My mum will be 97 next month, her ability to remember things is non existent, repeats herself and asks the same questions over and over again. I have the responsibility of making sure she is taken care of which is fine but I am no spring chicken myself.
So, do I forget things now? - yes, am I slower? - yes, do I want to be younger? hell no!!! | | | |
| Getting older on 17:12 - Feb 9 with 3947 views | PinnerPaul |
Threads like this and the amazing response to my own thread about my mum passing is what makes this forum special. | | | |
| Getting older on 18:15 - Feb 9 with 3876 views | R_from_afar |
Just to give you the other, more positive, side of going into care, my gran was a widow living on her own for some years and coped well but when she got to her late 90s, she had to go into a care home.
She actually had a late blossoming there and flourished because she suddenly had so much more human interaction and stimulation. She got into painting again and enjoyed the sing-songs they had at the home.
Three of the best things you can do to keep your brain healthy are:
- To learn to play a musical instrument
- To learn a foreign language
- To keep fit.
You don't need to do them all at once, mind! |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| Getting older on 20:18 - Feb 9 with 3774 views | Sonofpugwash |
I worry I may never visit LR again.A degenerative spine condition where the material between the vertebrae wears away makes it very difficult to walk plus managed to fall off a ladder onto an unforgiving slate floor and busted up some other stuff.I may have prostate and colon cancers now.
So sad,started supporting R's in 1963 at White City.LR was a revelation,that walk up the steps for the first time from the gloom of the Ellerslie to the first glimpse of the sunlit pitch and the noise of the crowd was the most incredible kick in the head.What initially did LR for me (1964)was an article in the Daily Express - The journalist was a first time visitor and asked a local how to get to Loftus Road ....told "turn right by the hot dog stand" and later on in the article pronounced "few teams in my experience could match their bouts of one touch passing.You'd do well to turn right by the hot dog stand where soccer is sizzling"
It's a long shlep from mid Wales,never thought I'd get like this but there you go.Am still called upon to do projects,just finished a downstairs bathroom,good exercise.
Keep your brain active,computer games are a must. My partner Joanna (no spring chicken either) is getting me into Skyrim and Fallout.
Maybe I'll get one of them blue badge thingies and wander up,or I'll just have to annoy you lot from a distance.  | |
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| Getting older on 20:28 - Feb 9 with 3755 views | Boston |
Hello lads, interesting thread this...
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| Getting older on 20:33 - Feb 9 with 3742 views | WatfordR |
Great to see the thread has taken off more or less as I’d hoped. Didn’t want it to be too depressing or doom laden, more a conversation about the realisation of life changing and it’s consequences. Lots of points raised, some of which I’d thought about and not articulated, some of which never occurred to me.
I do wonder whether degenerative illness is actually on the increase, or are we just more aware of it because the family unit has become more fractured over time. I’ve talked about this regularly with a small group of old mates I worked with for years, we’re all more of less the same age. In generations passed, we all knew of families living under the same roof, mum, dad, kids and grandparents, maybe aunts and uncles, where there more often than not one or more of the elder relatives would be regarded as “slightly dotty”. There was never any question of them being sent off into care it seemed, just an acceptance that was the way things were and would be until the end of their days.
The question of being a burden was what I meant by not wanting to put my wife or kids through that ordeal, but terryb voiced a concern I’d not thought of — could I be a carer, would I have the patience or tolerance? And would I really have the strength to confront and take control of my future if I was diagnosed with, say, alzheimers? I think the answer to these questions is yes. But I don’t know for sure. Going back to being a glass half full guy, my default position I suppose is that none of this will ever happen to me, and I’m not going to consider any of it until I might have to. But then, I started this thread, didn’t I?
The question of working til you drop versus retiring and just enjoying whatever your circumstances will allow…well, when you put it like that! It perhaps sounds a bit trite if you’re in a position where you’re working because you can’t afford not to, or because you’re conscious of trying to leave as much of a life fund behind for your kids as possible. I just feel there has to be more meaning, more value to an individual’s life than “work”. There has to be. A wise man once told me no one’s last words were “I wish I’d worked more”. Everyone has to do what they have to do I guess. Maybe it’s worth questioning at some stage “do I really HAVE to do it? Is there really no other choice?”
To end on a lighter and slightly mischievous note. One of the symptoms of my mum’s illness is that she has no short term memory anymore, but she can remember stuff from her teenage years back in 1940s Ireland quite clearly. This might even be one for a different thread, but if you could choose when your short term memory packed up, when would that have been as far as QPR are concerned? Would it for example have been after beating Reading 4-0 last season when overhauling Bournemouth and returning to the Prem was a formality? Would it have been when that lovely man Mick Beale took us top of the table and pledged to ignore all advances for his services in order to restore us to our rightful place at the top of English football? | | | |
| Getting older on 20:56 - Feb 9 with 3699 views | GaryBannister86 |
| Getting older on 20:33 - Feb 9 by WatfordR |
Great to see the thread has taken off more or less as I’d hoped. Didn’t want it to be too depressing or doom laden, more a conversation about the realisation of life changing and it’s consequences. Lots of points raised, some of which I’d thought about and not articulated, some of which never occurred to me.
I do wonder whether degenerative illness is actually on the increase, or are we just more aware of it because the family unit has become more fractured over time. I’ve talked about this regularly with a small group of old mates I worked with for years, we’re all more of less the same age. In generations passed, we all knew of families living under the same roof, mum, dad, kids and grandparents, maybe aunts and uncles, where there more often than not one or more of the elder relatives would be regarded as “slightly dotty”. There was never any question of them being sent off into care it seemed, just an acceptance that was the way things were and would be until the end of their days.
The question of being a burden was what I meant by not wanting to put my wife or kids through that ordeal, but terryb voiced a concern I’d not thought of — could I be a carer, would I have the patience or tolerance? And would I really have the strength to confront and take control of my future if I was diagnosed with, say, alzheimers? I think the answer to these questions is yes. But I don’t know for sure. Going back to being a glass half full guy, my default position I suppose is that none of this will ever happen to me, and I’m not going to consider any of it until I might have to. But then, I started this thread, didn’t I?
The question of working til you drop versus retiring and just enjoying whatever your circumstances will allow…well, when you put it like that! It perhaps sounds a bit trite if you’re in a position where you’re working because you can’t afford not to, or because you’re conscious of trying to leave as much of a life fund behind for your kids as possible. I just feel there has to be more meaning, more value to an individual’s life than “work”. There has to be. A wise man once told me no one’s last words were “I wish I’d worked more”. Everyone has to do what they have to do I guess. Maybe it’s worth questioning at some stage “do I really HAVE to do it? Is there really no other choice?”
To end on a lighter and slightly mischievous note. One of the symptoms of my mum’s illness is that she has no short term memory anymore, but she can remember stuff from her teenage years back in 1940s Ireland quite clearly. This might even be one for a different thread, but if you could choose when your short term memory packed up, when would that have been as far as QPR are concerned? Would it for example have been after beating Reading 4-0 last season when overhauling Bournemouth and returning to the Prem was a formality? Would it have been when that lovely man Mick Beale took us top of the table and pledged to ignore all advances for his services in order to restore us to our rightful place at the top of English football? |
Well, as for many fans around our age, I have one extraordinary loss of memory. It is a bit frustrating because I can clearly remember turning Liverpool over in the Semi Final of the League cup over two legs. Fabulous. But then? Just goes completely blank. | | | |
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