| More to life 08:17 - Aug 14 with 43497 views | mart_Goblin |
Monday the 10th August was supposed to be a new adventure and an exciting new chapter in my family’s life. After a whole summer of huge stress looking for a new place to rent and having no joy due to legislation that came in on May 1st that was supposed to help renters , but actually crippled us and our individual financial situation, we had finally found somewhere to call home .
This was turned on its head whilst loading the 3rd van load of stuff from old flat to new, when my beautiful wife had a catastrophic stroke.
It’s hard to describe that feeling of helplessness and terror that you feel when this happens to a loved one and hard to comprehend the terror they must be feeling .
It was a major bleed on the brain. But when we went in on Tuesday to see her in the acute stroke unit. She greeted us with a smile and asked “I’ve been waiting for you, where have you been?”
She had no movement in her left arm and her speech was mumbled and quiet but you could just about understand her.
I left on Tuesday feeling happier and upbeat that she will be ok.
When we arrived Wednesday she was completely different.
She barely acknowledged us . She couldn’t open her eyes .
She remained asleep .
Yesterday morning I was called to the hospital urgently.
She’d had another stroke, this time a blood clot .
She was rushed to Charing Cross to have life saving surgery .
We got to see her briefly late last night as she was placed in an induced coma.
Next week will be her 49th birthday .
This post isn’t about sympathy. It’s mainly about 3 things.
Firstly , myself, my step daughter and my wife’s mother have a large support unit of wonderful family and friends . But somehow writing things down to me is therapeutic and lets me get some of this out of me in a way that I can’t explain . I don’t really do social media . Odd Instagram post but I’ve given up on it really. So this board and network feels like a sort of home to me .
Which leads me to point 2.
Life is more important than bickering about Nourry, Sir Les, Mbengue, Paul Smyth or whoever .
It just doesn’t matter on the grand scale of things . We all share different views so don’t get to irate and angry with each other .
On the flip side , this club really really important to some people . Rangers are a lifeblood to many .
So , if this IS your passion then we should all try to understand that too . This is a great board full of insight and different people, spearheaded by one of the best football writers in the land .
Apparently it’s taken some pot shots from other people recently.
Defend this board . It’s played an important role in all our lives to some degree .
And lastly , I need to learn and start gathering info on how on Earth I come to terms with what’s happened and the future , whatever that is , that lies ahead for us as a family .
The process of trying to help the paralysis on her left side is now secondary. It’s now about keeping her alive . Some of you must have gone through similar or know people who have, so any advice or knowledge that can be passed over will be a lot of help to me . I’ll be given leaflets and phone numbers , I know . But hearing real accounts , however good or bad will help just as much to how I go forward . DM me if you’d rather .
I will check later to see if there have been any advice given in reply to this but I’m not really thinking about Rangers right now.
Late last night as I trudged sorrowfully around Sainsburys, buying stuff just for myself which in itself broke my heart , a guy stopped me (I had a QPR top on of sorts) and he wanted to talk about last Saturday. I politely explained that I was busy preparing to move home so didn’t go and briefly told him what happened since .
This guy stood and chatted to me about his own health issues , how he knows what I’m going through and offering a hand of friendship he offered to be there if I needed him.
Never met him before . But our link was this wonderful club .
That’s the bond . So have opinions and have them with passion , but never forgot that we are in this together. QPR fans .
So thanks Eddie. You gave me hope when I felt like I had none .
Mart
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| More to life on 15:47 - Oct 18 with 2054 views | dmm |
Thanks so much for posting that update, Mart. Your willingness to share these deeply personal things with us on here is amazing. I think I can speak for all LFWers in asking you to pass our love and best wishes to your wife. |  | | |
| More to life on 16:32 - Oct 18 with 1868 views | kensalriser |
I seem to have something in my eye after reading Mart's latest. |  |
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| More to life on 18:06 - Oct 18 with 1652 views | DejR_vu |
| More to life on 14:31 - Oct 18 by mart_Goblin |
Apologies, rarely get on here at the moment .
I went back to work a couple of weeks back . Just mornings ,but leave before 6am then go to the hospital for the rest of the day and get home around 9pm.
Has no one heard from Ted?
That worries me and makes me very sad after reading he had pancreatic cancer .
I hope he is ok as I do Ned too.
I hope both are doing well in their own circumstances.
If others know otherwise then it would be great to hear about them and if I missed it then apologies.
Had many people on here contact me privately for updates or when I posted the OP.
Once again I’d like to thank all those who did so or just wished us well on this thread .
It means such a great deal to me and my family .
My wife is doing ok considering. A little update.
She spent near a month unconscious in Charing Cross ICU .
And after a meeting where the hospital started preparing the family for potentially letting her go, she woke up, incredibly . After 3 weeks in Hillingdon hospitals Stroke unit , she is now in a Rehabilitation unit at the same hospital .
There is some movement in her left leg , not loads but a small amount that they can now work on which is totally unexpected. She has lost a lot of her vision but it’s starting to improve slowly so as with everything we have to wait some months before we know the extent of her ‘damage’.
I didn’t think I’d ever hear her voice , see her smile , have her hold my hand or give me a kiss ..but she has done all those things . She tells me she loves me all the time and that’s beyond my wildest expectations of 6 weeks ago . She is a complete inspiration to me and all who know her .
Today has been an emotional day where the extent of her brain damage and paralysis becomes too much but she is so strong it’s incredible.
A long way to go and lots of tears, sadness and frustration to come , but to have her talking , with a lot of her long term memory in tact and still have that beautiful smile is a bit of a miracle .
And she’s not done yet. She’s strong and she will give everything she’s got to get that left arm and leg moving so she can be home for Christmas in some degree, which is a target set by the staff here.
Thank you again for all your words of support and kindness .
You lot actually made a terrible and horrible time easier than you all realise .
Come on U R’s |
Delighted for you, Mart. You sound an incredible couple and lucky to have each other. |  |
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| More to life on 18:09 - Oct 18 with 1637 views | DejR_vu |
| More to life on 15:43 - Oct 18 by PunteR |
I spoke with Ted briefly last week. He's not too good sadly, barely can type. But he's keeping positive and said he'll get through it. Sounds like his wife is working around the clock, looking after the family.
Thoughts, prayers and any positive energy going Ted's way and his family atm. |
Tell Ted we’re all rooting for him, PunteR. Keeping everything grossed for him. | |
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| More to life on 22:02 - Oct 18 with 1365 views | hopekillsyou |
| More to life on 14:31 - Oct 18 by mart_Goblin |
Apologies, rarely get on here at the moment .
I went back to work a couple of weeks back . Just mornings ,but leave before 6am then go to the hospital for the rest of the day and get home around 9pm.
Has no one heard from Ted?
That worries me and makes me very sad after reading he had pancreatic cancer .
I hope he is ok as I do Ned too.
I hope both are doing well in their own circumstances.
If others know otherwise then it would be great to hear about them and if I missed it then apologies.
Had many people on here contact me privately for updates or when I posted the OP.
Once again I’d like to thank all those who did so or just wished us well on this thread .
It means such a great deal to me and my family .
My wife is doing ok considering. A little update.
She spent near a month unconscious in Charing Cross ICU .
And after a meeting where the hospital started preparing the family for potentially letting her go, she woke up, incredibly . After 3 weeks in Hillingdon hospitals Stroke unit , she is now in a Rehabilitation unit at the same hospital .
There is some movement in her left leg , not loads but a small amount that they can now work on which is totally unexpected. She has lost a lot of her vision but it’s starting to improve slowly so as with everything we have to wait some months before we know the extent of her ‘damage’.
I didn’t think I’d ever hear her voice , see her smile , have her hold my hand or give me a kiss ..but she has done all those things . She tells me she loves me all the time and that’s beyond my wildest expectations of 6 weeks ago . She is a complete inspiration to me and all who know her .
Today has been an emotional day where the extent of her brain damage and paralysis becomes too much but she is so strong it’s incredible.
A long way to go and lots of tears, sadness and frustration to come , but to have her talking , with a lot of her long term memory in tact and still have that beautiful smile is a bit of a miracle .
And she’s not done yet. She’s strong and she will give everything she’s got to get that left arm and leg moving so she can be home for Christmas in some degree, which is a target set by the staff here.
Thank you again for all your words of support and kindness .
You lot actually made a terrible and horrible time easier than you all realise .
Come on U R’s |
That’s very positive news: it means in all probability that there will be a recovery and in lots of cases, many functions do return after a period of convalescence and rehabilitation. So pleased for you and your family. | | | |
| More to life on 23:04 - Oct 18 with 1233 views | PunteR |
| More to life on 15:43 - Oct 18 by PunteR |
I spoke with Ted briefly last week. He's not too good sadly, barely can type. But he's keeping positive and said he'll get through it. Sounds like his wife is working around the clock, looking after the family.
Thoughts, prayers and any positive energy going Ted's way and his family atm. |
Just to add, i spoke with Ted on here via the DMs not in person.
I dont know if he's still reading LFW atm but maybe just send him a message through there, and hopefully he gets to read them. |  |
| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| More to life on 00:10 - Oct 19 with 1151 views | numptydumpty |
Best wishes to you Ted. Can tell you are a fighter from the way you write, so absolutely every best wishes to you in feeling as better as quickly as is possible for you.
Your presence on here is greatly missed.
Mart - hard to put into words what you and your wife are going through. Absolutely also, likewise she is showing great resolve and spirit in getting to a better place. I do sincerely also wish the two of you, every hope for better days ahead as well.
Life can be a right b'stard at times and we all have to fight. I hope all Rangers that are going through hard times, can gain some semblance that we all care and want everyone to have their best lives, but sometimes its just very cruel..
As the title says - more to life - Rangers is a nice distraction - but ultimately thats what it is.
Wishing you all well in your respective battles ahead. Hope progress can happen for all. |  |
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| More to life on 10:32 - Oct 19 with 885 views | Bluce_Ree |
Hard to know what to write. Just hoping for the best outcomes for both of you Mart and Ted. |  |
| Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. |
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| More to life on 12:12 - Oct 19 with 756 views | Konk |
That's really encouraging stuff, Mart. Brilliant to hear that your wife is making progress. I know it will be a slog, but just to be making incremental progress is wonderful. It must be a huge help for your wife having your support and love.
Ted and Ned - I hope you're both doing okay. |  |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| More to life on 16:34 - Oct 19 with 553 views | R_from_afar |
| More to life on 14:31 - Oct 18 by mart_Goblin |
Apologies, rarely get on here at the moment .
I went back to work a couple of weeks back . Just mornings ,but leave before 6am then go to the hospital for the rest of the day and get home around 9pm.
Has no one heard from Ted?
That worries me and makes me very sad after reading he had pancreatic cancer .
I hope he is ok as I do Ned too.
I hope both are doing well in their own circumstances.
If others know otherwise then it would be great to hear about them and if I missed it then apologies.
Had many people on here contact me privately for updates or when I posted the OP.
Once again I’d like to thank all those who did so or just wished us well on this thread .
It means such a great deal to me and my family .
My wife is doing ok considering. A little update.
She spent near a month unconscious in Charing Cross ICU .
And after a meeting where the hospital started preparing the family for potentially letting her go, she woke up, incredibly . After 3 weeks in Hillingdon hospitals Stroke unit , she is now in a Rehabilitation unit at the same hospital .
There is some movement in her left leg , not loads but a small amount that they can now work on which is totally unexpected. She has lost a lot of her vision but it’s starting to improve slowly so as with everything we have to wait some months before we know the extent of her ‘damage’.
I didn’t think I’d ever hear her voice , see her smile , have her hold my hand or give me a kiss ..but she has done all those things . She tells me she loves me all the time and that’s beyond my wildest expectations of 6 weeks ago . She is a complete inspiration to me and all who know her .
Today has been an emotional day where the extent of her brain damage and paralysis becomes too much but she is so strong it’s incredible.
A long way to go and lots of tears, sadness and frustration to come , but to have her talking , with a lot of her long term memory in tact and still have that beautiful smile is a bit of a miracle .
And she’s not done yet. She’s strong and she will give everything she’s got to get that left arm and leg moving so she can be home for Christmas in some degree, which is a target set by the staff here.
Thank you again for all your words of support and kindness .
You lot actually made a terrible and horrible time easier than you all realise .
Come on U R’s |
Thanks for the update, Mart, you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.
One of my best mates, the person who first got me interested in QPR in fact, and with whom I have been to umpteen games, including Cheltenham away  , is also battling back from a stroke. I'm rooting for you. |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| More to life on 18:58 - Oct 19 with 395 views | BklynRanger |
What you've gone through recently is my worst nightmare Mart.
And to see the progress - I wouldn't have the words for how touched and impressed I am with you both. |  | | |
| More to life on 22:16 - Oct 19 with 219 views | digswellhoop |
how true
I know what you're going through
PLEASE BELIEVE | | | |
| More to life on 22:18 - Oct 19 with 217 views | digswellhoop |
| More to life on 19:40 - Aug 27 by Monkey_Roots |
Hits hard to read Mart's, Ned's and Ted's messages.
My thoughts are with you, other than that I'm utterly speechless.
Bless you all. |
can our club do anything to support them? | | | |
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