| More to life 08:17 - Aug 14 with 31149 views | mart_Goblin |
Monday the 10th August was supposed to be a new adventure and an exciting new chapter in my family’s life. After a whole summer of huge stress looking for a new place to rent and having no joy due to legislation that came in on May 1st that was supposed to help renters , but actually crippled us and our individual financial situation, we had finally found somewhere to call home .
This was turned on its head whilst loading the 3rd van load of stuff from old flat to new, when my beautiful wife had a catastrophic stroke.
It’s hard to describe that feeling of helplessness and terror that you feel when this happens to a loved one and hard to comprehend the terror they must be feeling .
It was a major bleed on the brain. But when we went in on Tuesday to see her in the acute stroke unit. She greeted us with a smile and asked “I’ve been waiting for you, where have you been?”
She had no movement in her left arm and her speech was mumbled and quiet but you could just about understand her.
I left on Tuesday feeling happier and upbeat that she will be ok.
When we arrived Wednesday she was completely different.
She barely acknowledged us . She couldn’t open her eyes .
She remained asleep .
Yesterday morning I was called to the hospital urgently.
She’d had another stroke, this time a blood clot .
She was rushed to Charing Cross to have life saving surgery .
We got to see her briefly late last night as she was placed in an induced coma.
Next week will be her 49th birthday .
This post isn’t about sympathy. It’s mainly about 3 things.
Firstly , myself, my step daughter and my wife’s mother have a large support unit of wonderful family and friends . But somehow writing things down to me is therapeutic and lets me get some of this out of me in a way that I can’t explain . I don’t really do social media . Odd Instagram post but I’ve given up on it really. So this board and network feels like a sort of home to me .
Which leads me to point 2.
Life is more important than bickering about Nourry, Sir Les, Mbengue, Paul Smyth or whoever .
It just doesn’t matter on the grand scale of things . We all share different views so don’t get to irate and angry with each other .
On the flip side , this club really really important to some people . Rangers are a lifeblood to many .
So , if this IS your passion then we should all try to understand that too . This is a great board full of insight and different people, spearheaded by one of the best football writers in the land .
Apparently it’s taken some pot shots from other people recently.
Defend this board . It’s played an important role in all our lives to some degree .
And lastly , I need to learn and start gathering info on how on Earth I come to terms with what’s happened and the future , whatever that is , that lies ahead for us as a family .
The process of trying to help the paralysis on her left side is now secondary. It’s now about keeping her alive . Some of you must have gone through similar or know people who have, so any advice or knowledge that can be passed over will be a lot of help to me . I’ll be given leaflets and phone numbers , I know . But hearing real accounts , however good or bad will help just as much to how I go forward . DM me if you’d rather .
I will check later to see if there have been any advice given in reply to this but I’m not really thinking about Rangers right now.
Late last night as I trudged sorrowfully around Sainsburys, buying stuff just for myself which in itself broke my heart , a guy stopped me (I had a QPR top on of sorts) and he wanted to talk about last Saturday. I politely explained that I was busy preparing to move home so didn’t go and briefly told him what happened since .
This guy stood and chatted to me about his own health issues , how he knows what I’m going through and offering a hand of friendship he offered to be there if I needed him.
Never met him before . But our link was this wonderful club .
That’s the bond . So have opinions and have them with passion , but never forgot that we are in this together. QPR fans .
So thanks Eddie. You gave me hope when I felt like I had none .
Mart
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| More to life on 18:35 - Aug 26 with 3981 views | Gus_iom |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
So sorry to hear that Ted, wishing you and yours all the strength in the world.
"Liked" your post by mistake, obviously, and now I feel like a right dick. |  |
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| More to life on 18:40 - Aug 26 with 3949 views | Gus_iom |
Matt, Ned and anyone else going through shit - wishing you all the best, however inadequate that sounds. | |
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| More to life on 18:47 - Aug 26 with 3879 views | numptydumpty |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Crikey Ted.
Am so sad to hear this news. I only know you through this online forum, but you always come across as a very decent man and a Rangers fan through and through also.
Makes me freaking out occasionally over nothing in particular at times, look all rather stupid. Appreciate your straight talking ways and see you dealing with these really tough times likewise.
But also hope if needs be you get all the support you need from those around you that care.And certain everyone on here wishes you well absolutely.
Sending you all the very very best Ted. [Post edited 26 Aug 18:49]
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| More to life on 19:14 - Aug 26 with 3798 views | ChrisNW6 |
Mart sorry to hear your news, wishing you and your family all the strength to get through this. Very brave words from you at this time.
Ted wishing you all the best at this time as well, you are both legends on this board. | | | |
| More to life on 20:16 - Aug 26 with 3636 views | Konk |
| More to life on 12:34 - Aug 14 by Ned_Kennedys |
Mate I’m so sorry to read your post: life throws up some terrible things.
I’ve had a life changing (and probably shortening) diagnosis and operation in February and have spent 2026 visiting numerous hospitals for appointments and scans etc.
After hardly visiting a hospital in my life I’ve learnt a few things this year:
The NHS staff do a wonderful and amazing job and show a level of professionalism, care and compassion that has humbled me.
Sometimes you need to push to get the appointments and outcomes you feel you need though.
Although some friends and family have been great others have struggled to deal with me and what I’m going through: although it upset me at the beginning I’ve learnt that they still really care but everybody deals with bad news differently.
Don’t be afraid to ask for support from everyone, whether that’s friends & family or professionals.
After 6 months I’ve had to swallow my pride and apply for benefits to help me keep a roof over my head: wish I’d done it months ago. Support of all kinds is available but you need to ask for it.
God bless you mate: I wish you and your family all the best.
And never lose hope. [Post edited 14 Aug 12:35]
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Really sorry to hear that Ned. Life can be a bastar d at times. I'm glad you've applied for the financial help to which you're entitled. Benefits are there to help people when they need support, so no one should ever feel awkward about it.
There are tens of thousands of talented people around the world, making great progress in all areas of medical research, so here's hoping you have better news down the road. Good luck with it and never be afraid to ask for help, whether it's from friends, family, or the state. Take care. |  |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| More to life on 20:20 - Aug 26 with 3599 views | paulparker |
This thread really brings home how life is short and that we should enjoy every single second of it
Life has become more complicated and stressful the last few years
Maybe it’s time we step back and start enjoying the simple things again
Both Ted & Mart are braver men than me
Thinking of you both |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| More to life on 20:27 - Aug 26 with 3559 views | kensalriser |
So sorry to hear that Ted, I feared the worst as soon as you said pancreatic cancer. Lost a friend to it some years back, still in his 50s. No word of a lie, you're one of the best blokes on this forum. |  |
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| More to life on 22:08 - Aug 26 with 3339 views | essextaxiboy |
Ted , so sorry to hear your news. I will never forget your stand off with Gareth Bale in the Loft and your countless wise words on this forum . Best wishes to you and your family .. |  | | |
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| More to life on 23:31 - Aug 26 with 3179 views | hamptonhillhoop |
Ted,
Thinking of you. As I said I've been through this with a close family member. Much love to you. Nothing more I can really say. I don't have the words |  | | |
| More to life on 23:49 - Aug 26 with 3115 views | CLAREMAN1995 |
Ted I am heartbroken to hear your news I was hoping for the best for you and your loved ones after this thread started .My Father passed on to the Promised Land/next adventure from this cursed disease so its a hard one to come back out of .Please know you are a beloved member here and when you feel well enough post if you are able and write down or record as much stuff to your family so your voice goes on. God bless you man |  | | |
| More to life on 02:00 - Aug 27 with 3011 views | Kiwi76 |
Very moving thread & life catching too many of us out over past year.
12k miles away but Ted you’ve been regular presence here for over 20yrs since I found LFW & very sad to read your news & wish you well with great carers & close family/friends.
A couple on here reached out when my wife went through cancer now 15yrs ago & appreciated their care.
Like a few others have had my scare last 12mths with melanoma & just through horrible 6wk wait to here latest scans all clear.
Pretty good bunch on this site & following this bloody team has to mean some bond (mental condition) we share & hope we continue to look out for each other
PS - sorry Mart realised not acknowledged you as originator & very best to you & yours as well [Post edited 27 Aug 2:02]
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| More to life on 09:19 - Aug 27 with 2694 views | AshteadR |
| More to life on 22:08 - Aug 26 by essextaxiboy |
Ted , so sorry to hear your news. I will never forget your stand off with Gareth Bale in the Loft and your countless wise words on this forum . Best wishes to you and your family .. |
Jesus wept Ted, so sorry to hear that terrible news. The Gareth Bale moment is iconic. You always come across as a really genuine guy and very ‘normal’, in the nicest possible way. | | | |
| More to life on 09:43 - Aug 27 with 2644 views | eastside_r |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
You don’t know me Ted, nor I you but I feel that I do because we both have been 20+ years on this board.
I don’t really have the words but know that I am thinking of you in these difficult days. |  | | |
| More to life on 09:53 - Aug 27 with 2605 views | TwoHalves |
Never felt particularly comfortable with the whole ‘social media’ thing TBH (and have certainly never been inclined to actually participate) but since stumbling across LFW a few years ago I’ve realised that there’s something to be said for it after all.
This thread, for me, represents the very best of it. I’ve never met anyone here (as far as I know!) but it’s become pretty clear over the relatively short period of time that it’s been part of my world - compared to the majority of you - exactly who the real stand-up guys are: Ted and Mart, you’re two of ‘em (many more of course). It’s been a privilege to see your personalities emerge via your posts.
Ted, FWIW, not only have I always enjoyed your forthright opinions but also your musical selections too (I’ve been introduced to things I may never have come across myself).
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Whatever the future holds for you two fellas, I hope you find the courage and strength to deal with it (I’m sure you will). Meanwhile please know that all my love and best wishes are extended to you both (and indeed any fellow R’s out there who may be suffering, for whatever reason, at this time too). | | | |
| More to life on 10:21 - Aug 27 with 2514 views | wombat |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
dont know what to say ted , best wishes to you and the family |  |
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| More to life on 11:36 - Aug 27 with 2329 views | Snipper |
Only just caught up with this thread. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, and yet uplifting in equal measure.
Ted, you are without doubt, one of the nicest people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing at QPR. Whether it’s on this forum, the away days or just the halftime chats on the concourse in the loft, you’ve always had time to chat.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’m sending all my love to you and your family. ❤️❤️
Ned, I’ve never met you, but the same applies to you. ❤️❤️
This group is amazing, and I love the way everybody comes together at times like this.
Love to you all. ❤️❤️ |  | | |
| More to life on 12:00 - Aug 27 with 2255 views | BexleyHoop |
Mart & Ted I am sorry to hear about what you are both going through at present and wish you all the best.
Lost my dad in July and trying to deal with that has been challenging, just does not feel real at the moment.
Having a good family around you helps 'herd mentality' looking out for each others has been great and it sounds like you have that support around you.
Take each day as it comes, try and look for the positives where you can and never give up hope. The human body and spirit are marvellous things.
My aunt has had two strokes in the last couple of years, she is still here. Her life has changed, but she can still enjoy it.
My mother-in-law had breast cancer, had double mastectomy over 30 years ago and is still going strong.
The NHS is wonderful and I hope they can assist you in your time in need.
Good luck to you both. |  | | |
| More to life on 12:37 - Aug 27 with 2163 views | TwoHalves |
| More to life on 12:00 - Aug 27 by BexleyHoop |
Mart & Ted I am sorry to hear about what you are both going through at present and wish you all the best.
Lost my dad in July and trying to deal with that has been challenging, just does not feel real at the moment.
Having a good family around you helps 'herd mentality' looking out for each others has been great and it sounds like you have that support around you.
Take each day as it comes, try and look for the positives where you can and never give up hope. The human body and spirit are marvellous things.
My aunt has had two strokes in the last couple of years, she is still here. Her life has changed, but she can still enjoy it.
My mother-in-law had breast cancer, had double mastectomy over 30 years ago and is still going strong.
The NHS is wonderful and I hope they can assist you in your time in need.
Good luck to you both. |
And let’s not forget good old Wilko Johnson. Defied the odds for many years! | | | |
| More to life on 12:54 - Aug 27 with 2101 views | flynnbo |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Just catching up on things and wow, Ted, I'm so, so sorry to hear this but I know you're a realist and will face things head on. So many saying they're "loft for words" is both apt and a tribute to you and your standing on this forum
Also sending positive thoughts to you Mart about your wife. [Post edited 27 Aug 13:07]
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| More to life on 13:44 - Aug 27 with 1985 views | R_from_afar |
| More to life on 11:31 - Aug 14 by ted_hendrix |
Mart I'm gobsmacked for you, I've had quite a few minor strokes and there's no point me waffling any advice re the strokes all I can say with any confidence Is your Wife Is being cared for by the best hard working human beings on this Planet.
Last Friday 30th July was my 76th Birthday and I had an appointment at the excellent JR Hospital in Oxford, with my Wife and my youngest Son who drove us there.
Went through the body scanner (awful experience) within an hour the Consultant called us In and explained that I have Pancreatic cancer.
Okay, right what do we do next? well I've got an oncology appointments booked Immediately the Oncology nurse has got my Wife's number and I'm drowning In new prescription medicine, It's all bit hazy but I look at my Wife and She's In control.
Only thing I would suggest and I get the feeling you probably will be doing as soon as you visit your Wife the first thing to do Is have a big smile on your face and hold her hand.
I am so so lucky to have the Oxfordshire Health Authority, a nurse wouldn't let me walk out of the Hospital yesterday She took me In the lift down Six floors In a wheelchair and Into the waiting NHS taxi. I was humbled.
I'm with you 100% |
Ted, just wanted to say that I got a message from a mate today who, like you, sadly also has pancreatic cancer. He received his diagnosis three years ago but is doing really well. Hang in there, sir. You're in my thoughts and prayers 🙏. |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| More to life on 15:48 - Aug 27 with 1846 views | mart_Goblin |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Oh Ted.
I’ve no words accept that please feel free to message me anytime if you need to unload .
Keep fighting my friend .
Much love to you | | | |
| More to life on 17:38 - Aug 27 with 1654 views | Northernr |
Ted Hendrix. The guy who literally named the site we all post on.
Thinking of you and Mart tonight.
We have our moments but we’re a wonderful community of people following a beautiful football club. |  | | |
| More to life on 18:11 - Aug 27 with 1555 views | Mick_S |
| More to life on 17:38 - Aug 27 by Northernr |
Ted Hendrix. The guy who literally named the site we all post on.
Thinking of you and Mart tonight.
We have our moments but we’re a wonderful community of people following a beautiful football club. |
That’s rather lovely, I didn’t know that. Love and respect to Ted, Ned and Matt. As many have said, there are no words.
X |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| More to life on 18:28 - Aug 27 with 1519 views | Hayesender |
On a personal level, the bravest person I've ever seen was my wonderful mother fighting pancreatic cancer right up until the end, and refusing any medication except for morphine for the pain.
My heart goes out to you Ted, but with your family around you, you'll see this bastard out in style 👊
Much love to you and your family x |  |
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| More to life on 18:43 - Aug 27 with 1487 views | Northernr |
| More to life on 18:11 - Aug 27 by Mick_S |
That’s rather lovely, I didn’t know that. Love and respect to Ted, Ned and Matt. As many have said, there are no words.
X |
Yeh we had a thread on the old Rivals board for a new name and I believe Loft for Words was Ted. | | | |
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