| More to life 08:17 - Aug 14 with 31146 views | mart_Goblin |
Monday the 10th August was supposed to be a new adventure and an exciting new chapter in my family’s life. After a whole summer of huge stress looking for a new place to rent and having no joy due to legislation that came in on May 1st that was supposed to help renters , but actually crippled us and our individual financial situation, we had finally found somewhere to call home .
This was turned on its head whilst loading the 3rd van load of stuff from old flat to new, when my beautiful wife had a catastrophic stroke.
It’s hard to describe that feeling of helplessness and terror that you feel when this happens to a loved one and hard to comprehend the terror they must be feeling .
It was a major bleed on the brain. But when we went in on Tuesday to see her in the acute stroke unit. She greeted us with a smile and asked “I’ve been waiting for you, where have you been?”
She had no movement in her left arm and her speech was mumbled and quiet but you could just about understand her.
I left on Tuesday feeling happier and upbeat that she will be ok.
When we arrived Wednesday she was completely different.
She barely acknowledged us . She couldn’t open her eyes .
She remained asleep .
Yesterday morning I was called to the hospital urgently.
She’d had another stroke, this time a blood clot .
She was rushed to Charing Cross to have life saving surgery .
We got to see her briefly late last night as she was placed in an induced coma.
Next week will be her 49th birthday .
This post isn’t about sympathy. It’s mainly about 3 things.
Firstly , myself, my step daughter and my wife’s mother have a large support unit of wonderful family and friends . But somehow writing things down to me is therapeutic and lets me get some of this out of me in a way that I can’t explain . I don’t really do social media . Odd Instagram post but I’ve given up on it really. So this board and network feels like a sort of home to me .
Which leads me to point 2.
Life is more important than bickering about Nourry, Sir Les, Mbengue, Paul Smyth or whoever .
It just doesn’t matter on the grand scale of things . We all share different views so don’t get to irate and angry with each other .
On the flip side , this club really really important to some people . Rangers are a lifeblood to many .
So , if this IS your passion then we should all try to understand that too . This is a great board full of insight and different people, spearheaded by one of the best football writers in the land .
Apparently it’s taken some pot shots from other people recently.
Defend this board . It’s played an important role in all our lives to some degree .
And lastly , I need to learn and start gathering info on how on Earth I come to terms with what’s happened and the future , whatever that is , that lies ahead for us as a family .
The process of trying to help the paralysis on her left side is now secondary. It’s now about keeping her alive . Some of you must have gone through similar or know people who have, so any advice or knowledge that can be passed over will be a lot of help to me . I’ll be given leaflets and phone numbers , I know . But hearing real accounts , however good or bad will help just as much to how I go forward . DM me if you’d rather .
I will check later to see if there have been any advice given in reply to this but I’m not really thinking about Rangers right now.
Late last night as I trudged sorrowfully around Sainsburys, buying stuff just for myself which in itself broke my heart , a guy stopped me (I had a QPR top on of sorts) and he wanted to talk about last Saturday. I politely explained that I was busy preparing to move home so didn’t go and briefly told him what happened since .
This guy stood and chatted to me about his own health issues , how he knows what I’m going through and offering a hand of friendship he offered to be there if I needed him.
Never met him before . But our link was this wonderful club .
That’s the bond . So have opinions and have them with passion , but never forgot that we are in this together. QPR fans .
So thanks Eddie. You gave me hope when I felt like I had none .
Mart
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| More to life on 10:15 - Aug 14 with 2823 views | derbyhoop |
By any standards that is a hard thing to deal with. I hope your wife recovers and that you find the time for yourself.
Best of luck with everything life throws, and will grow at you. |  |
| "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain)
Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky |
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| More to life on 10:15 - Aug 14 with 2825 views | QuitePossiblyRaving |
I don't post often, and don't have the right words, but just wanted to thank you for sharing and send you every single bit of good wishes / hopes / prayers that I have. |  | | |
| More to life on 10:42 - Aug 14 with 2714 views | terryb |
I'm so sorry to read this Mart. Best wishes to you & your wife.
You asked for us to give you any experience that we have with people that have suffered severe strokes irrespective of the outcome so I will send a DM. | | | |
| More to life on 10:50 - Aug 14 with 2671 views | Hunterhoop |
Jeez, Mart. I am so so sorry to read that.
I wish you and your family all the strength in the world. Hopefully your wife can pull through.
Terrible situation.
You’re a remarkable person for being able to write something like that in such awful circumstances.
I hope you can all come through this. |  | | |
| More to life on 10:53 - Aug 14 with 2659 views | wombat |
best wishes to you and your family mart , charing cross is an amazing place my wife used to work there as a senior nurse for years so i know the place well , try and keep as postive as you can and obv we are all here if any of us can offer any sort of help in anyway, |  |
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| More to life on 11:25 - Aug 14 with 2566 views | Logman |
My deepest condolences Mart. I cannot imagine the stress you are going through right now. Also, well done for the shout out to your family. And the fellow Hoop that you met in the supermarket. I hope you get the support that you fully deserve and that your wife recovers soon. | | | |
| More to life on 11:31 - Aug 14 with 2544 views | ted_hendrix |
Mart I'm gobsmacked for you, I've had quite a few minor strokes and there's no point me waffling any advice re the strokes all I can say with any confidence Is your Wife Is being cared for by the best hard working human beings on this Planet.
Last Friday 30th July was my 76th Birthday and I had an appointment at the excellent JR Hospital in Oxford, with my Wife and my youngest Son who drove us there.
Went through the body scanner (awful experience) within an hour the Consultant called us In and explained that I have Pancreatic cancer.
Okay, right what do we do next? well I've got an oncology appointments booked Immediately the Oncology nurse has got my Wife's number and I'm drowning In new prescription medicine, It's all bit hazy but I look at my Wife and She's In control.
Only thing I would suggest and I get the feeling you probably will be doing as soon as you visit your Wife the first thing to do Is have a big smile on your face and hold her hand.
I am so so lucky to have the Oxfordshire Health Authority, a nurse wouldn't let me walk out of the Hospital yesterday She took me In the lift down Six floors In a wheelchair and Into the waiting NHS taxi. I was humbled.
I'm with you 100% |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| More to life on 11:31 - Aug 14 with 2537 views | Lblock |
Gutting to read your post...... thoughts, hopes and prayers with you and your wife for a full recovery soonest.
I don't have any direct experience of this but it's a real concern of mine due to a personal issue. My fears have directly led to actively try to manage stress (not for me) and the backdrop to your situation with the need to move is in itself stressful.
Thank God for the NHS and once your missus recovers she will also Thank God she has a strong fella like yourself at her side.
You sum it up with the post title "More to life" - we should all remember that at all times.
All the very best |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| More to life on 11:37 - Aug 14 with 2526 views | terryb |
| More to life on 11:31 - Aug 14 by ted_hendrix |
Mart I'm gobsmacked for you, I've had quite a few minor strokes and there's no point me waffling any advice re the strokes all I can say with any confidence Is your Wife Is being cared for by the best hard working human beings on this Planet.
Last Friday 30th July was my 76th Birthday and I had an appointment at the excellent JR Hospital in Oxford, with my Wife and my youngest Son who drove us there.
Went through the body scanner (awful experience) within an hour the Consultant called us In and explained that I have Pancreatic cancer.
Okay, right what do we do next? well I've got an oncology appointments booked Immediately the Oncology nurse has got my Wife's number and I'm drowning In new prescription medicine, It's all bit hazy but I look at my Wife and She's In control.
Only thing I would suggest and I get the feeling you probably will be doing as soon as you visit your Wife the first thing to do Is have a big smile on your face and hold her hand.
I am so so lucky to have the Oxfordshire Health Authority, a nurse wouldn't let me walk out of the Hospital yesterday She took me In the lift down Six floors In a wheelchair and Into the waiting NHS taxi. I was humbled.
I'm with you 100% |
I'm so sorry to read that Ted. Best wishes for the appointment & whatever treatment you have.
One thing that strikes me, is how many of us have wonderful partners that help us with our problems in life. | | | |
| More to life on 12:34 - Aug 14 with 2415 views | Ned_Kennedys |
Mate I’m so sorry to read your post: life throws up some terrible things.
I’ve had a life changing (and probably shortening) diagnosis and operation in February and have spent 2026 visiting numerous hospitals for appointments and scans etc.
After hardly visiting a hospital in my life I’ve learnt a few things this year:
The NHS staff do a wonderful and amazing job and show a level of professionalism, care and compassion that has humbled me.
Sometimes you need to push to get the appointments and outcomes you feel you need though.
Although some friends and family have been great others have struggled to deal with me and what I’m going through: although it upset me at the beginning I’ve learnt that they still really care but everybody deals with bad news differently.
Don’t be afraid to ask for support from everyone, whether that’s friends & family or professionals.
After 6 months I’ve had to swallow my pride and apply for benefits to help me keep a roof over my head: wish I’d done it months ago. Support of all kinds is available but you need to ask for it.
God bless you mate: I wish you and your family all the best.
And never lose hope. [Post edited 14 Aug 12:35]
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| More to life on 13:03 - Aug 14 with 2331 views | Paddyhoops |
So sorry to hear this . Hope everything works out and love to your wife .
She sounds like an amazing woman. | | | |
| More to life on 13:13 - Aug 14 with 2287 views | tkqpr |
Oh Mart.... what a shock for you all and what timing, although theres never a good time.
I wont say too much but here's a source of information about Ailments and Remedies that might be helpful for you.
Have an open mind there are many natural foods/compounds that can assist your body into healing itself. You might want to investigate
https://www.earthclinic.com/cu
Cayenne pepper is a good natural blood stimulant.
You might want to look into DMSO also, i can send you some links if you wish.
None of this is helath advice.... just what ive been reading. Always check with your Dr first!!
God Bless you all x |  | | |
| More to life on 13:18 - Aug 14 with 2258 views | AshteadR |
I always enjoy reading your posts Mart, so this was unexpected, brave and very upsetting news.
I wish you, your wife and family the very best and hope she makes a full recovery. | | | |
| More to life on 13:45 - Aug 14 with 2175 views | Monkey_Roots |
So sorry to read this Mart, it's difficult to know what to say - another reminder of how fragile it all is.
My thoughts and best wishes go out to you and everyone affected, and of course your wife - I hope you get some great news soon mate.
Like PH says above, just one day at a time mate, and do the best you can. |  | | |
| More to life on 14:00 - Aug 14 with 2145 views | Bluce_Ree |
I feel for you, Mart. I really hope your missus pulls through. |  |
| Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. |
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| More to life on 14:04 - Aug 14 with 2139 views | essextaxiboy |
So sorry to hear what you are going through Mart , hope your wife makes a good recovery and look after yourself as well as looking after her …. |  | | |
| More to life on 14:14 - Aug 14 with 2110 views | Kensal_Ranger |
Such a powerful and moving statement, huge respect and sympathy for your troubles and prayers for her good recovery 🙏 |  | | |
| More to life on 14:21 - Aug 14 with 2086 views | Ghost_on_the_Westway |
My sincere and very best wishes to your wife, to you and to your family, Mart. |  |
| I need a SAGA. What’s the SAGA? It’s ….. Queen’s Park Rangers. |
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| More to life on 14:26 - Aug 14 with 2080 views | daveB |
That is heart breaking to read, I hope she pulls through
I've got no advice to give really but know we're all here for you |  | | |
| More to life on 14:42 - Aug 14 with 1995 views | Hayesender |
Christ on a bike. I don't know you Matt, apart from your posts on here, but reading that brought a tear to my eye.
All the best to you and your family going forward, and especially to your wife who sounds like a wonderful person x |  |
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| More to life on 14:59 - Aug 14 with 1934 views | mikeygunn |
Powerful stuff and powerful reply’s. Also bought a tear to my eye.
Being a Qpr fan is more about us all supporting a football team. It’s like we are part of this weird and wonderful family, we are all here supporting you and your wife. |  | | |
| More to life on 15:03 - Aug 14 with 1924 views | francisbowles |
| More to life on 11:31 - Aug 14 by ted_hendrix |
Mart I'm gobsmacked for you, I've had quite a few minor strokes and there's no point me waffling any advice re the strokes all I can say with any confidence Is your Wife Is being cared for by the best hard working human beings on this Planet.
Last Friday 30th July was my 76th Birthday and I had an appointment at the excellent JR Hospital in Oxford, with my Wife and my youngest Son who drove us there.
Went through the body scanner (awful experience) within an hour the Consultant called us In and explained that I have Pancreatic cancer.
Okay, right what do we do next? well I've got an oncology appointments booked Immediately the Oncology nurse has got my Wife's number and I'm drowning In new prescription medicine, It's all bit hazy but I look at my Wife and She's In control.
Only thing I would suggest and I get the feeling you probably will be doing as soon as you visit your Wife the first thing to do Is have a big smile on your face and hold her hand.
I am so so lucky to have the Oxfordshire Health Authority, a nurse wouldn't let me walk out of the Hospital yesterday She took me In the lift down Six floors In a wheelchair and Into the waiting NHS taxi. I was humbled.
I'm with you 100% |
I'm really sorry to hear that Ted. Best wishes to you and yours and try and keep that rather unique sense of humour that I and maybe many others enjoy in your posts. | | | |
| More to life on 15:14 - Aug 14 with 1891 views | ed_83 |
Don't know what else to say beyond what's already been said, but sending you and your family huge amounts of love, Mart. | | | |
| More to life on 15:27 - Aug 14 with 1859 views | terryb |
| More to life on 12:34 - Aug 14 by Ned_Kennedys |
Mate I’m so sorry to read your post: life throws up some terrible things.
I’ve had a life changing (and probably shortening) diagnosis and operation in February and have spent 2026 visiting numerous hospitals for appointments and scans etc.
After hardly visiting a hospital in my life I’ve learnt a few things this year:
The NHS staff do a wonderful and amazing job and show a level of professionalism, care and compassion that has humbled me.
Sometimes you need to push to get the appointments and outcomes you feel you need though.
Although some friends and family have been great others have struggled to deal with me and what I’m going through: although it upset me at the beginning I’ve learnt that they still really care but everybody deals with bad news differently.
Don’t be afraid to ask for support from everyone, whether that’s friends & family or professionals.
After 6 months I’ve had to swallow my pride and apply for benefits to help me keep a roof over my head: wish I’d done it months ago. Support of all kinds is available but you need to ask for it.
God bless you mate: I wish you and your family all the best.
And never lose hope. [Post edited 14 Aug 12:35]
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As with Mart & Ted, I'm very sorry to read this Ned.
Feeling that you are able to post about personal problems is one of the best things about LFW. As is the support that you receive from board members irrespective of whether they share your views on football.
I recall a few years ago 2T2B posting his farewell to all of us & I was moved by his post & the replies that were given. Long may all members feel free to share if we can be of any help. | | | |
| More to life on 15:46 - Aug 14 with 1799 views | joe90 |
Absolutely gutted for you Mart.
I feel your pain, I had two family members suffer serious strokes. If you need to talk about anything DM me. |  | | |
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