| Things your Dad did that you don't 18:15 - Apr 17 with 8875 views | MrSheen |
I have a list, which includes:
1) Driving with the doors open - admittedly easier to do in a 1970s Commer van than a Nissan Qashqai. Driving with the doors tied back turned a routine journey down Willesden Lane into a helicopter mission deep into Vietnam.
2) Burning rubbish - any excuse: branches, old window frames, cement sacks, plastic sheets. Impossible for me now I live in a flat, but even when I had a garden I would never have got away with leaving a scorched pile of nails embedded in plastic in the middle of the garden.
3) Boiling lemonade - he was convinced this would cure any cold. Not honey and lemon, but R Whites boiled in a milk pan with a chopped onion in it. He might be right as I've never tried it.
4) Fixing Cars and 5) Going to auctions - Dad was so determined not pay for any professional services that he convinced himself he could fix any engine - for a while at least - and if any vehicle resisted the cure, there were plenty more where they came from. His love of car auctions led on to property auctions, looking for bargains he could do up and sell, and in retirement, to livestock auctions in Ireland. He used to take me along for the day to inspect the goods for sale - all the same to me - listen to the bidding - couldn't make out a word, all the time terrified if I scratched my nose I would end up owning a derelict hotel in Hastings or a herd of pigs. Not been back.
6) Exterminating insects - his hatred of paying for expert help intersected with his righteous fury at hosting unwanted guests, so insects beware - wasps bludgeoned to death with a hurley as they left the air brick under the back bedroom, boiling up the kettle for flying ants climbing out onto the garden path. Although I have been shamed into swiping spiders with a belt, I generally try to direct flying invaders to an open window. |  | | |  |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 18:16 - Apr 17 with 6685 views | qprxtc |
Shag my mum. |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 19:30 - Apr 17 with 6441 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Free education, affordable housing, and a welfare state. |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 19:34 - Apr 17 with 6432 views | R_from_afar |
My dear old dad, God rest his soul, used to do the things listed under 2 and 6.
Re 6, he harboured a burning hatred of ants and would lever up the paving slabs in our path and lay waste to the ants nesting under there with a blow torch.  |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 19:44 - Apr 17 with 6394 views | dutch |
Watch QPR win things |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 19:45 - Apr 17 with 6393 views | Northernr |
Christmas Day punch ups in pub car parks over who brought the Russians into World War One. |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:03 - Apr 17 with 6315 views | NorrisGreen |
The old man did the Pools. Would listen to scores on Grandstand religiously at 4:45 (yes, FOUR FORTYFIVE!) and write down all the scores on his coupon. He insisted on total silence in household whilst he solemnly did this.
He didn't do "8 from 10" like any normal person would. He did some cheapskate litplan thing instead. He did 16 selections for 5p or something but any draws had to line up with some litplan ready reckoner. Basically he could correctly predict say, ten draws, but only six of them would match with the ready reckoner and he'd win eff all. Utter madness! He didn't like football or know anything about it.
I don't do the pools. I never did. I don't think the pools exist anymore either? | | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:12 - Apr 17 with 6291 views | ted_hendrix |
He wore braces and a belt at the same time to hold his trousers up.
He used Brylcream.
He polished his shoes every Sunday.
He voted Conservative.
He used to sing loudly In the bath. |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:14 - Apr 17 with 6279 views | colinallcars |
My Dad said, “son, get drunk, get laid, but never join the fire brigade”
Nah, I got that from a Brian Protheroe song. |  | | |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:33 - Apr 17 with 6226 views | Stanisgod |
My dad would sit down with the Sunday paper at the football results, get a piece of paper with 1-90 on it , and cross off the minutes the goals were scored. Apparently to see whether there was a minute that a goal HADNT been scored. He never did say what the relevance was but obviously today it would have to be 1- 100 ! |  |
| It's being so happy that keeps me going. |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:38 - Apr 17 with 6209 views | loftboy |
Morris dancing! |  |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:41 - Apr 17 with 6201 views | dmm |
He dried the dishes with a tea towel. Not only do I not do that, but I doubt anyone does that today. |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:17 - Apr 17 with 6058 views | TwoHalves |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:33 - Apr 17 by Stanisgod |
My dad would sit down with the Sunday paper at the football results, get a piece of paper with 1-90 on it , and cross off the minutes the goals were scored. Apparently to see whether there was a minute that a goal HADNT been scored. He never did say what the relevance was but obviously today it would have to be 1- 100 ! |
With particular emphasis on 40 to 50 in our case. | | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:30 - Apr 17 with 6024 views | Discodroids |
East ham dave would have been 77 today. The old rascal. miss him like the deserts miss the rain..
He sold french blues to dave dee dozy beaky mick and titch in 1964 which resulted in titch falling off the stage at east ham granada
he played harmonica with ronnie lane in a skiffle band in upton park.
every song he played on that f ucking harmonica sounds like the old grey whistle test theme tune. every. fu cking. song.
Reckons his mate Reg The shirt cutter, taught mick rodgers of manfred mann the 12 string guitar. ' Reg..the best guitarist the world never saw'
Pete meaden ( The Who's first manager) ,offered his mate Ray, who ran the East Ham Working Mens club, 'the high numbers' , to play at the club for a white fiver. Ray a Modernist with no equal told him to fu ck off . No sell out to the plastic Mods . "Mod was dead by '64".
he smoked jazz fags with otis reading while old Otis tried to kop off with me mum , again at the east ham granada, back stage in 1966.
he went to live in a cave in cornwall for 3 months when my mum left him breifly in the long hot summer of 1976.
when my mum finally left him in 1978, he got steaming and got on stage with georgie fame and ‘done the dog’ , before falling off the stage, at yes, the east ham granada.
after a marathon drinking session and spunking all the housekeeping he returned home to my apocolyptic step mother , with the excuse that , “I turned the corner on green street and got knocked out by a freak gust of wind , it carried me 20 yards down the road and knocked me out. for at least 8 hours…some c unt must have lifted me fu cking wallet when i was unconscious “..
Such was his performance he came to believe this story himself , despite stinking of vodka, bicardi, gin and 180 ‘kim’ cigarettes. still maintained that crock of shit story to his dying day.
insisted he was the 2nd cousin of ry cooder and tom waites despite zero evidence to back these questionable facts up.
Insisted he met Bob Dylan in a soho record shop in '63 who told him the correct pronunciation of his name is 'Dy-lan'. not a lot of people know that.
Had to tell long john baldry his fortune via a kick in the nuts after Long john tried to whip out me old mans todger from his Micheal John Tonic tin flute in ham yard '65.
Him and Zoot Money had a jolly up with pp arnold in the shithouse of the Wag club /pink flamingo/ whiskey a go go* delete as appropriate.
We as a family, have been robbed of our birthright and rightful fortune as his Sister marjorie is the illegitimate offspring of a bunk up between lord astor and their mum in the stables.
The scandal was so great, she was drugged with some undetermined opiate by those in Lord Astor's employ and "transported up north" while 6 months pregnant with the lords aristocratic harry monk and some hush money..." a few fu cking guineas.. fu ck all Glenn.."
after another divorce He found himself having a drink with jesus christ otherwise known as robert powell in a hotel bar and asked for salvation following 10 pints of double diamond.
he had a affair with stephanie desyks. for further veracity, " her mooie had a stringy bit on it".
Ta ta Dad xx [Post edited 17 Apr 22:33]
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| Where there's a will - and there is a will - there's a way - and there is a way. |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:31 - Apr 17 with 6024 views | Boston |
Wore a tie, frequently. | |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:40 - Apr 17 with 6003 views | Dorse |
He used to smoke but looked like it was an horrendous pain. Seriously, he used to look like his fag was attached to a car battery or something. [Post edited 17 Apr 22:43]
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| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:48 - Apr 17 with 5954 views | qprxtc |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:40 - Apr 17 by Dorse |
He used to smoke but looked like it was an horrendous pain. Seriously, he used to look like his fag was attached to a car battery or something. [Post edited 17 Apr 22:43]
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You sure about that old son 😜😂 | | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:50 - Apr 17 with 5956 views | Tonto |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:31 - Apr 17 by Boston |
Wore a tie, frequently. |
My father still wears a shirt and tie around the house. He is 86.
He also calls himself "Professor [insert surname]", even though he isnt. He was an academic, but wasnt a professor, but he is obsessed with job titles and appearance. |  |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 22:59 - Apr 17 with 5909 views | PlanetHonneywood |
Worked bloody hard all his life and didn't take holidays, or tell several bosses over the years, that he was buggering off to go travelling!
Remains one of the saddest things in my life, that he died a few months before his well deserved retirement. It's why I did take all my holidays and buggered off when I wanted too!
Edit: The man never forgot anyone's name, irrespective of how long since he'd last seen them. 'Jaysus, Brian McCarthy I've not seen you since we worked in Kilburn in 1968!' Was the type of thing he'd regularly say where as I'm doing well if I remember your name after 35 seconds! [Post edited 18 Apr 7:52]
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 23:45 - Apr 17 with 5822 views | E17hoop |
Play golf. It was his religion, every Sunday morning from April to October. |  |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 23:50 - Apr 17 with 5807 views | Superhoops2808 |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 20:41 - Apr 17 by dmm |
He dried the dishes with a tea towel. Not only do I not do that, but I doubt anyone does that today. |
Wrong!! |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 00:01 - Apr 18 with 5790 views | Superhoops2808 |
Smoke a pipe
Wear Old Spice
Use a Remmington Shaver
Only eat meat, potatoes and peas - Never any fancy food | | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 00:48 - Apr 18 with 5733 views | Loftgirl |
Smoke like a chimney.
Use Old Spice.
Always wear a tie, even on the beach.
Use Brylcreem.
Set my son up with the PDF file down the road to save his bi-sexual ass. |  | | |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 01:28 - Apr 18 with 5694 views | numptydumpty |
Some terms he used , would not be liked by the PC brigade today.
He used to say "coloured" as opposed to black but it was just the term used in the day.
He always went to pubs that were all stand up at the bar locals and communicate in an absolute fog of smoke. Remember this myself, but no one questioned being passive smokers then.
My dad was always adamant particularly with me, when he was confident about a sporting fact. i didnt have the opportunity to prove he was wrong with the benefit of google back then.
i miss our daft debates.
When i was younger, would say myself, i wont turn into my dad, when i get older, but now can honestly say quite often get into conversations with friends around my age, which could be classified under the title, "it wasnt like this in my day"...
My dad used to be very black and white in his beliefs.
Always a labour supporter, but then in those days you knew what right wing and left wing parties policies were about.
Now we have no idea what any of them stand for, apart from being reactive to the latest media obsessions.
As an extra edge, when drinking, always had a whisky chaser. Can't drink that stuff myself.
i miss the old b*stard and i was lucky enough to experience some fun times with the old boy. Its a different world without both my parents in my life. i tried always to take the best qualities both mum and dad posessed.
Life goes on... |  |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 01:50 - Apr 18 with 5671 views | Boston |
| Things your Dad did that you don't on 00:48 - Apr 18 by Loftgirl |
Smoke like a chimney.
Use Old Spice.
Always wear a tie, even on the beach.
Use Brylcreem.
Set my son up with the PDF file down the road to save his bi-sexual ass. |
Could you run that last line by me again? | |
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| Things your Dad did that you don't on 01:51 - Apr 18 with 5670 views | Boston |
I had just popped back on to say, wore slippers. | |
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