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I think Oguchi Onyewu has to be the king of this - Redknapp does his usual "bare bones, need more players I've heard of" schtick and gets us to sign a former AC Milan defender with 60+ US Caps who was recently released by Sporting Lisbon, solely to sit on the bench 6 times. Zero minutes played, could have been a youth player, but no - it had to be a guy being paid the best part of a million a year.
If a player has a nickname, like "Gucci" it should be a big bastard clue not to sign them
Also see "The Bouncer" when they are soft as diarrhoea
One of my favourites of these is Tony Witter. He was with us from 1991-1994 and only made one appearance in a 4-1 hammering at Villa Park in August 1993 and was never seen again. The game is notable for being Andy Townsends debut and also had some brilliant goals including a wonderful volley from Sir Les that rifled into the top corner of the Holt End.
Also Sinclair's debut, IIRC correctly.
Townsend one of my least favourite players ever.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
This one involves a friendly that I wasn’t at or even know who it was against but I’m sure I read somewhere that Trevor Hebberd (MOTM of the match that never happened) played for us in a friendly as a triallist AFTER the game we dare not speak about. Is this true?
Wow, what a story, if true!
Never heard that before, but could be true of course.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
One of my favourites of these is Tony Witter. He was with us from 1991-1994 and only made one appearance in a 4-1 hammering at Villa Park in August 1993 and was never seen again. The game is notable for being Andy Townsends debut and also had some brilliant goals including a wonderful volley from Sir Les that rifled into the top corner of the Holt End.
Tony Witter was our man for that 100m competition they had before the FA Cup final wasn't he?
One of my favourites of these is Tony Witter. He was with us from 1991-1994 and only made one appearance in a 4-1 hammering at Villa Park in August 1993 and was never seen again. The game is notable for being Andy Townsends debut and also had some brilliant goals including a wonderful volley from Sir Les that rifled into the top corner of the Holt End.
God, I remember him. We signed him from Millwall, didn't we?
Pre-season friendly in Sweden, early August 1986. Says Trevor Hebberd (and Mel Sage) both played for QPR. In his wiki bio it says Hebberd stayed with Oxford until 1988 when he joined Derby. By coincidence Sage also joined Derby but at the beginning of the 86/87 season - he left Gillingham at the end of the previous season after being voted player of the season so it seems he trialled with the Rs then got poached by Derby. But the Hebberd thing - strange. Unless it’s some kind of Jim Smith tomfoolery.
D J Campbell and Andy Johnson - two half decent strikers, who were both with us for a couple of seasons around the same time and both got hardly any game time, due to injuries and being a little bit sh*t.
Only scored 3 goals in total for ourselves between them.
Remember being hopeful re both but also thought Campbells performances would be up a level due to him being a QPR fan himself...
I was at Griffin Park to see Massimo Mauro's debut...
Me too. Probably the only time a trialist got his own chant....
Just one Massimo Give it to me On a free transfer From Italy
We sang it a lot at that Brentford friendly. He looked like he could've been a good signing but the owners at the time (Thompson?) baulked at the price & recalled a past-his-best Simon Barker (he'd been on trial or loan somewhere else I think)
The black Andy Gray apparently played 11 games for ourselves, but was known for two crackers for ourselves in a midweek 3 - 2 victory over Man Utd.
Only ever stayed anywhere for any length of time at Palace, strange for a player of his abilities.
Wasnt at the Man Utd game, dont think many were, believe was only around 10 000 crowd there that night, but what a performance and then he left from whence he came !!!!
And didnt realise the Gurnam Singh refereeing catastrophe debacle, we played against Spurs, he scored the winner for them, that night too.
As I recall Andy Gray demanded to go back to London, ideally with Palace. But we were the only ones in for him so, we signed him from Villa on the cheap. It was in the papers at the time that he wanted out of Villa and back to London.
We played him at right wing, where he was devastating; no one could handle him. With him on the right and Sinton on the left, we then became very dangerous on the wings.
He hated that position though, as he wanted to be the midfield play-maker, where Spackman played already and who was very good in that position.
So, Gray went back to Palace via us and played in the middle. To be fair, he got an England call-up, but I always felt he played way better as RW and better even than someone like Rocastle did at Arsenal.
I always thought if he had stayed with us and on the right, we would have actually challenged much higher, as many teams could not handle him on the right. But no, he decided it was the middle for him so, off to Palace he went. In my biased view a wasted opportunity for everyone there.
Thats why Bennie should always play up front and not any other position as thats his best position.
God, I remember him. We signed him from Millwall, didn't we?
I remember that much for a few reasons. When it was still 2-1, Les fluffed a great chance to equalise. Then they scored 2 late ones & the scoreline made it look like a very one-sided match when it wasn't. Still annoys me when I think of it.
Also does anyone remember the half time entertainment at that match where a celebrity Villa fan & a celebrity QPR fan had a penalty shootout with the Villa mascot in goal.
The celebrity Villa fan was former England international & European Cup winner Peter Withe. You know the renowned penalty taker Peter Withe. Yeah, that guy. He had only retired from playing professionally a couple of years early.
Our celebrity fan was Henry Kelly who is not even a QPR fan as far as I know, but did have a show on Classic FM who were our shirt sponsors at the time.
Now as one-sided as that might sound to have a ex-professional striker in a shootout against a game show host, you should have seen Henry Kelly jogging across the pitch in his way-too-big-for-him QPR kit. It turns out he's a tiny & incredibly scrawny man. His legs looked so thin & brittle we were concerned they might just snap in two when he kicked the ball. It looked like someone had stuck a QPR kit onto a child just rescued from Dachau.
After 4 penalties each it was 4-0 to Peter Withe because of course it was. Henry Kelly was doing a decent impression of someone who'd never seen, let alone kicked a football before. What a fücking fix.
Us away fans were giving the Villa mascot some grief and suggesting he just let Henry's last penalty in. The mascot gave us a thumbsup and seemed to agree that he'd do that. Only for poor old decrepit Henry to scuff a feeble shot that was well wide of the goal & only just had enough power to trickle out of play.
And yet despite all that, I'd still pick Henry Kelly to play in the next QPR match ahead of some of the other no-hopers mentioned in this thread. And yes, I'm aware that Henry Kelly is dead, but still.
The black Andy Gray apparently played 11 games for ourselves, but was known for two crackers for ourselves in a midweek 3 - 2 victory over Man Utd.
Only ever stayed anywhere for any length of time at Palace, strange for a player of his abilities.
Wasnt at the Man Utd game, dont think many were, believe was only around 10 000 crowd there that night, but what a performance and then he left from whence he came !!!!
And didnt realise the Gurnam Singh refereeing catastrophe debacle, we played against Spurs, he scored the winner for them, that night too.
Adam Czerkas is my favourite of the non-scoring, few appearances striker genre.
I remember watching him for the first time in Sorrento.
Few of us were walking around the ground to the far end about an hour before kick off. Paladini is outside doing his usual bit, says hello, clocks my little brother who I think at that time was in the youth system at Scunny and later went on to play for his uni. Big lad, good footballer. Gianni asks a couple of questions and is then like "does he fancy a game?" We just laughed, ha ha Gianni you're so funny, carried on walking and had a beer in the bar next to the away end.
Then we saw the team, with Tony Roberts and Alan McDonald coming out of retirement to play because the pitch was so bad and they didn't want to risk people, and we realised he'd been serious. Could have been YoungNorth's QPR debut - and I'll tell you this, he's a better footballer than Czerkas was.